How do you view maintenance?
 

I'm curious--do you see maintenance as an endless battle? A state of continuous vigilance? A path of moderation? A pleasant place to be, having lost the weight?

For those who are now maintaining--what's your attitude toward maintenance?

Jay

Jay, all of the above to your suggestions. I must be aware from now on,if I want to maintain my loss.If I don't want to regain my weight ( and I don't), I must plan my menus, and count calories and keep a food diary. This is a minor annoyance compared to gaining it all back and starting all over again.

I view maintenance as the process of balancing my lifestyle choices. Is this dessert worth gaining a pound? The answer to that is not always no, BTW. Is it worth gaining a pants size for an eating binge? Should I skip my workout and get some rest, and which of these options is better for my body right now anyway? How do I make up for that junk food that I ate without really thinking?

I am doing this for the rest of my life, and while I'm adult enough to know that not every moment will be comfortable, on the whole, my life has to be livable. That means compromises. I'd rather be a size 10 or 12 and have dessert once in a while, than a size 6 and never get it. On the other hand, unrestrained eating for me means being back at a size 24, and I'm not willing to do that either. Sometimes over the intermediate term (like now for example, during pregnancy), it is easier for me to make better choices than others, and my weight fluctuates some accordingly.

I actually think maintenance is a horrible term. I'm not at a fixed weight that never changes; I actively manage my weight in a small (usually) range that is on the whole comfortable for my lifestyle as I choose to live it.

Anne

I'd have to agree with Bargoo and probably you since you posed the question(s). ALL OF THE ABOVE.


First of all, I am soooo very grateful to be here. So incredibly grateful. I wasn't sure if it (losing ALL the weight) was something that I could really do. So it sure as heck IS a pleasant place to be. Thin that is. I still don't believe it at times. It's still quite mindblowing to me.

But to tell you the truth, I do see it as an endless battle. But a battle that CAN be won. With hard work, determination and some darn good habits that I've picked up along the way.

Continuous vigilance? Yup, that too. That mostly in fact. I still and always, always, ALWAYS will have to plan ahead (my meals and snacks) and keep junk out of my house. Have strict rules for myself and track my calories. If I don't keep an eye on each and every bite I will surely gain the weight (every ounce of it) right back. I'm 10 months into maintenance and it still doesn't come natural to me. I've got to fake it. Once a fat girl, always a fat girl. Thank G-d for the good habits I've got in place.

Maintaining my weight loss, staying within that 5 lb range, maintenance, whatever you want to call it, IS a top priority for me. I've made it that way. It's just as important to me as losing the weight was. I must keep it front and center. I will never, ever allow my weight to be on a back burner ever again.

So, how do I view maintenance? As one of the most important things in my life. Wow, that sounds so, I don't know, maybe overly dramatic? Well, so be it. That's how it must be.

"As one of the most important things in my life"- Robin- I think you nailed it. Alcoholics in recovery have a similar saying "my sobriety comes first" because without it family, career, personal growth, etc- all suffer.

Certainly all of the things that were first mentioned, but sometimes I think that maintenance just "is". I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is just something I know I have to do, it is something I have ALWAYS known I'd have to do and it is something I know I will ALWAYS have to do.

Something else that maintenance is... educational. I knew I would have to keep up my healthy eating and exercise habits for life, but I didn't expect to have to learn so many new things about my body even years after losing the weight. Emotionally, hormonally and physically I think my body is still adjusting to being half its original size and there is always something new happening that makes me go "Oh... I didn't know that my body did that", or "Oh... I didn't know that this is what most people have happen to them". For example, I was diagnosed as being perimenopausal a few years ago, but since losing the weight I have been more regular than I have ever been in my life. So I sometimes find myself thinking that this sort of thing is what most women put up with, but I had avoided for a LONG time. I'm not sure if that is the best example, but I am still learning lots about my 'new' body... AND LOVING IT!

Zelma

Tommy, I can't tell you how "normal" it makes me feel that you agree with my statement. In my "real" life, there is no one who would understand that.

I'm sure most people view me as some kind of semi-freak, that I put so much importance into my food intake. Not that I walk around talking about it all day long, but my really good friends, my co-workers and my not immediate family memebers, can't help but notice my eating habits and how I refrain from this and prepare for that and cook like this and exercise like that. Even my extremely supportive immediate family thinks I'm a bit loco at times too (probably because I am ;)).

It really is great to have this forum around where we can all relate to one another and get to speak openly and honestly about our struggles and triumphs and for what I have found to be, our "not so mainstream" lifestyle. :grouphug:

To me (and who am I??? I gained my weight back, but I did maintain for 3 years), maintenance is truly the actual lifestyle change. Losing weight is the process of getting there. If you don't keep up all the things that you've done to reach your goal, you risk going back. No one wants to go back.

So it's a happy yet vigilant yet sometimes hard place to be. It's a constant awareness and perpetually trying to find that balance in your life. I gained the weight back because mentally/emotionally I was out of balance. I just didn't care about ME anymore. Thankfully I'm past that now (took a while), but I am starting over again to reach that "place". Knowing that I was there before helps, but sometimes also hurts. It hurts me that *I* did this to myself. I'm in the process of healing and focusing again on ME and that's what's going to get me to my goal weight again.

And I WILL join you all again one day! THAT I can promise you!!!!

This has been a great discussion for me to read. I had someone ask me a couple of weeks ago if I was "obsessed now" as if that is a good thing! It made me step back a minute or two before realizing it came from that crazy place most women have when it comes to weight and body image. It was a little disconcerting though, because I struggled with bulimia throughout my 20s.

My mindset now is totally different. This is about health and wellness. I would never resort to behavior I thought would make me thinner at the cost of feeling great. It's all about me now. I think it's hard for us to really stick to making ourselves a priority and openly considering the wisdom of our daily choices in terms of our health. My partner is a great role model. She is diabetic and over the years I have learned that we always have to evaluate menus and plans based on her food needs. We plan ahead, we read over menus, we make special requests and I never think of that as her being self centered. I look at that as a really positive step - she is taking control of her health and well being. It's the same for those of us who have been over weight and lost that weight.

Thanks for getting me thinking :)

Balance was the first word that popped into my head when I read the question.

And then, emotions came in. Sometimes this is exhilarating, as I try new things, succeed, and plan more! As I learn more about myself in the process.

Sometimes this is depressing and frustrating, as I realize that part of me wants that stupid donut, and watch other people casually eating the donuts! Why can't I have what I want like that!

But that's a rarity. Most of the time I am happy with the balance I have struck -- though I very actively have to consider the balance every day, or I will fall!

Great thread!

I also agree with viewing maintenance as "all of the above". It really depends on my mood from day to day and the situations I'm in as to how I might feel about it. Occasionally, say, when I've been to social event after social event and faces tables of cakes, very fattening foods, with no healthy options, or a week where I'm tired and there are sweet temptations at work every day, I feel dreary, like this is an endless battle. When I've had a few OP days food and exercise-wise, and feeling happy and satisfied with life, I think maintenance is just a path of moderation.

But it's always a more pleasant place to be than when I was about 60 pounds heavier than I am now, out of shape, always feeling like I looked terrible in clothes, wanting to hide from the world, and I had no confidence at all. So even when I'm feeling the "endless battle" mood, I sort of say to myself, that's the alternative. It's a non-choice for me. I will never go back to that. And I keep fighting the battle until it turns into the path again.

I agree 1000%. It is also always about constant vigilance. Robin, I'm sure that my colleagues and friends think I'm freakish too. I'm sure there were times when they covertly watched what I ate everyday b/c they were certain I had an eating disorder (ohh, she does eat quite a bit of food after all, not just vegetables...). My health takes up quite a bit of my mental energy. But that's fine with me. I feel much more in touch with myself, physically, mentally, spiritually now than I ever have. I think "pleasant" is a pretty mild term. This is a wonderful place to be.

Great thread!

Cyndi, this is a GREAT way to look at it. I love how you used your diabetic partners' situation as an "ananlogy". You're so right. People, myself included, wouldn't think twice (as well they shouldn't) about the care and planning that goes into keeping your partner well and at her optimal health. You really have put a very positive spin on it for me.

I must say, as I sit here and read each and every one of these responses, I am sitting and nodding my head in total and complete agreement.

I'm telling you, we need a "Maintainer's Convention" or something. Could you imagine the discussions ...........?

I am not at goal so maybe I sholdn't be posting here. BUT I have never been one to keep my opinions to myself.

I come from a family where addictions run rampant, alcohol, drungs, cigarettes, gambling....my drug of choice...FOOD!! I have been doing a lot of soal searching this time around. Trying to figure why I ate, what I ate when I ate it. Just like the alcoholic or junkie, I would hide food. Iwould plan my day around when I could sneak someplace for a donut or ice cream. I know that sounds sad and pathetic...and it was. I think part of the reason I am succeeding this time and will continue to succeed it because I am getting down to the nitty gritty...I am being honest with myself.

To be honest, maintainence scares the bejeezus outta me. When I think about it sometimes I tell myself, I wll be able to occasionally have dessert, I just have account for it in some way, either by eating a bit less of something else or exercising more. Then another voice says to me...you wouldn't let an recovered alcoholic have an occasional drink, or a junkie a little snort of cocain every now and then. So why do I think I am any different.

For now I take it one meal at a time and hope that when I reach the maintainance stage I will be successful there too. I now there are a whoel lot of people here on 3FC that I can turn to for help and inspiration!!

Maintenance is vigilance, moderation, and pleasant.
 

Great question, Jay.

I see maintenance as: vigilance, moderation, and pleasant. Don't feel the constant battle part (knock on wood).

Vigilance is prep, prep, prep: Prep my food, prep my plan for external food, prep my attitude. When I'm prepped, it's pleasant to eat in moderation despite the abundance of food, whether healthy or unhealthy. When I'm not prepped, abundant food is a MAJOR disturbance; sticking to my plan is an iffy matter.


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Thanks to everyone! So much to think about, so many different viewpoints--and lots of wisdom! :yes:

I did maintenance for some months, and now I'm trying to lose the last few pounds. It is not turning out to be at all easy. :faint:

I expect to have to battle during weight loss--and to be vigilant, and to struggle, and so on. And sometimes to be hungry, and to get tired, and even feel tired generally. But I'm thinking ahead to that time when I decide I'm done losing, and what my daily life could be like.

I don't want it to be a "battle." I don't want to "struggle." I want to find the middle path, the path free from extremes, where I am not craving constantly or indulging in some craving. Not avoiding foods, but not running after them either--physically or with calorie calculations!

I haven't had alcohol for over 20 years, and for the first few years, it was a battle and a struggle every day, and sometimes every hour. It's not like that anymore--I simply don't drink. I can go anywhere and get through anything, and whether others are drinking or not, it no longer matters to me. There is no battle now. I am a nondrinker.

The phrase "white-knuckle sobriety" refers to people who are hanging on for dear life. I don't want to do "white-knuckle maintenance."

I want to find a normal relationship with food--that is, the kind of relationship that is based on nourishing my body. I want to break away from food-as-drug, food-as-thrills, food-as-what-we-do-'cause-we're-bored, etc.

I know I'll need to pay attention always to what I eat--this is just basic mindfulness. But I don't want to have to count my calories all the time, every day, trying to always evaluate whether I can eat something or not. I don't want to worry that if I miss the gym one day, I'll be "struck fat."

But, I'm not there yet. I'm still trying to drop a pound at a time...

:wave:

Jay

People have mentioned other addictions, compulsions, etc. I have used the 12 Steps in other areas of my life - for me they are concrete and give me something to refer to to meet situtations when I can't figure it out on my own. For me they express what I have to do to maintain my weight as well. It's not just the eating, it's the thinking, for me. Gradually over the last year (I will have one year at or below my goal weight on May 1) I have become able to live with weight maintenance without it being the only thing I thought of, just as I did with my other life issues. Working with these situations has become 2nd nature, but I know well the fear of falling back. It's still there, but every step I take away from my former habits is one more step in my new and more peaceful, happier life.

Temptation comes and I slip up, but I have faith now that I can stay on track. The results have shown me that. I hold on to that and to the guidelines that have gotten me here, and I also try to take it just one day at a time. (Formerly, I was working quite hard to get the universe all straightened out and in line 24 hours a day stretching into the infinite future, what a job! No wonder I felt a bit stressed...)

It really helps to have the Chicks here and to find support like this. I am grateful for that, as well as for every day I'm hanging in there with things balanced as they are now.

Jay, I am pretty much in the same place you are. I take great comfort that I have been able to maintain for a few months. My previous experience has been to lose weight, and gain it all back within six months.

This time when the weight loss slowed to non-existant, I made a conscious decision to just maintain, and not gain it all back.

So how has the few months of maintenance gone for you? Haven't you felt ok with your relationship to food while you have been maintaining? I, too, would hate to live with a "constant battle" going on between me and food, but it hasn't been much of a battle, so far. I ate what I had been eating and enjoying. I think I learned pretty quickly that adding cake frosting, peanut butter out of the jar (akin to drinking vodka out of the bottle, for me),and stale cookies to the scheme was not going to work. No one needs straight cake frosting, anyway.:lol:

Hey gailr42,

Maintaining went well for me--I really liked being able to eat more calories. It felt like abundance to me. :broc:

But I've been trying to lose again, for a few months now, and I am on a plateau. A real plateau.

It's just tough to stay with it. And the thought of maintenance being more of same is really disheartening to me. I know it won't be--I know that--but I wonder how low my maintenance calories will be if I get down even to 140. As I said, I don't want maintenance to be a battle.

Jay

I am pretty new at this maintenance thing. I've been in accidental maintenance for a year or so (trying to lose but pretty much just maintaining), I've only been consciously trying to maintain for a month or so. So I'm still struggling with changing my mindset from losing to maintaining. Every day I'm am just that close to dropping my calories back down to a level where I can lose weight.

I think that, because I am so new at this, I always feel like I am one brownie and one missed workout away from my starting weight. I've read the articles about how many people gain back the weight they lost and I feel an absolute panic that I'm going to be one of them. When I have an off-plan meal or day, I often have to remind myself that I'm not going to gain back all the weight I lost with just one meal/day. That I just need to get back on plan and in a week it will be as if it didn't happen.

So I feel like maintaining requires constant vigilance (in fact, it's my motto under my profile name). I have to weigh, measure, and count every calorie. I've read comments by Glory and others about how they just estimate calories for the day and don't fanatically weigh/measure everything they eat and I am just not there yet. I don't think I'll ever have the same relationship with food that I had before or that other people consider "normal" but I do hope that maybe one day I'll be able to be a little less fanatical about it. That maybe one day I'll be able to eyeball portions and just keep a mental log of what I've eaten in my head. But that day is clearly a long way off.

But, even though I feel like constant vigilance is critical, I wouldn't say that every day is a battle. Some days I am definitely white-knuckling it. The good news is that, in maintenance, it's okay for me to have an extra 100 calories on those days. But then there are other days where I feel like I'm in "the zone." Where my eating is effortlessly and perfectly on plan; where I love the food I'm eating and have no problems staying in my calorie range. My hope is the eventually (and I suspect I'm talking years, not months, from now), I'll get to the point where I have a lot more "in the zone" days and a lot fewer "white knuckle" days.

I know when I quit smoking the first two weeks were miserable--every day was a white knuckle day. Then it got tolerable but I still wanted to smoke. Now, over 10 years quit, I'm in the zone--I rarely even think about smoking (only at times of extreme stress). I hope that eventually maintaining my weight will be the same.

Bumped up.

Thank you, Megan and paperclippy!

You know, what's interesting for me looking back at this and also looking at my FitDay records for that time, is that I was asking this question after a week of eating under 1200 every day--even though I don't recommend that to anyone! :o My average for the week was 1182. I wonder what I was thinking! Probably the same odd thing so many think--eat less, do better.

And even more interesting is that I was staying at about the same weight as I'm at right now!

So, in between then and now, I figured out that maybe my approach wasn't the best. For the past week, my average calorie intake has been 1570, and I weigh what I weighed in April 2008. Now that's about a 400 cal/day difference, and yet my weight is not going up. In fact, I've been losing. Slowly, but losing. Go figure!

I still am a believer that maintenance does not have to be a place of endless restriction, but a place of mindfulness.

Jay

Mostly a pleasant place to be and a path of moderation, with keeping vigilance in mind. I don't consider it as a "battle", because this is too negative a concept for me—it'd feel as if I was battling against my own body, fighting some sort of curse, and I don't want to view it that way. Some people can "eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce"? OK. I can't. And it's just that.

Now, keeping moderation in mind, this is something I can do. But I admit I'm not very consistent at "constant vigilance". I mean, I am mindful of what I eat, I try to make good choices, etc., but I don't keep logging my food intake, and I only count calories for certain foods and not others (fruits, veggies... I don't count). Maybe I'm having it easy at the moment, and the honeymoon won't last? Somehow, though, I think it's also because my way of living has changed in the past year or so. Before, I would count and exercise, but the 'exercise' part was more the self-imposed kind, the "I must exercise in order to lose/maintain". Now I walk a lot, I bike a lot, I've taken on running early in the morning for the sole pleasure of doing it, and all of this is perhaps what has made maintenance "easy" for me. So I tend to think that as long as I can keep up with this (which isn't much in itself, it's not like I walk 4h/day either), then maintenance is mostly enjoyable, and not so much a constraint as I used to think before being there. This psychological state of mind helps a lot.

"Accidental maintenance" - good phrase (thank you Barbara) for what I've been doing for the last 6 months. It's a matter of daily choices for me - sometimes boring, sometimes frustrating, sometimes very rewarding.

But it has become a lifestyle for me now, rather than a string of behaviours so it's much easier to make all of those daily choices without agonizing over each one.

Dagmar

JayEll, I really get that.

I think maybe it's a separate journey. There's weight loss (and certainly the first part of maintenance, whether first part to you means one month or one year or whatever, is much the same as weight loss). And then there's learning to relate to food in a way that's healthy and mindful but not more than that, if that's possible for you. I think it really helps not to expect that to happen automatically, nor to expect it to happen from the process of losing weight. So, I took a year to lose (most) of my weight. I expect to take plenty of time figuring out a way to be healthy and mindful but not stuck in a dieting mindset. I mean, it's not like society is very helpful with that ;) I'm sorry if I'm being as clear as mud.

Anyway, I'm not saying what anyone else does is abnormal. We all start in different places, and we all have different goals and needs.


NOTE / ADD: I remember something you posted: Awareness is always being present. Obsession is never being present.

That sums it up for me. It's a good rule to evaluate my choices / behaviors / thinking / emotions by. The exact same choices about food may be mindfulness for one person and obsession for a different person.

Thank you for this thread. I'm not a maintainer. I appreciate your thoughts and stories. Thanks for sharing them...

Kira