[baffled111]

Originally Posted by tomandkara

I feel like a big moron, but I seriously just recently realized that it doesn't matter whether you're counting them or not, the calories are still there. I somehow duped myself into thinking before that if I wasn't paying attention to how many calories I was consuming that it wouldn't matter. As if I could only go over my required amount if I actually counted. I don't even know if that makes any sense, but I've realized that I'm always held responsible for my choices, whether they were made in sound mind or not!

ROFLMAO.

I had a similar realization a couple of months ago with regard to my credit card debt: I will never pay off all my credit cards if I don't stop using them to pay for things I don't have money for. That salient fact had literally escaped my notice until right before xmas. Tee hee.

Lily, that dog is a menace! Something really does have to be done! Can you get a lawyer to send the woman a nasty letter with some kind of threat?

[rockinrobin]

Originally Posted by Meg

I think you hit the nail on the head with your emphasis on UNPLANNED eating leading into trouble. We always, always have to plan, even when we're having a treat meal. We all still need to mentally walk through the menu and the evening ahead of time and decide what we'll indulge in and what is still off-limits.

I can't play games with myself that way and pretend that it's OK to suck down 5000 calories!! So usually I decide on no bread, salad with dressing on the side, a fish entree (without too much sauce), skipping any starch that comes with it, one glass of wine, and a shared dessert. It's either/or bread or wine, either/or starch or a few bites of dessert. Sometimes I'll get an appetizer as a entree.

So even if it's a special night and the rules are relaxed, it's never unplanned. I'm not sure how healthy it is, but I'm always conscious of the calories in the choices I'm making. I can't help it -- I mentally tally up everything!!

Maybe you don't have to be quite as drastic as diet Coke and salad, but could you make some either/or choices and make a plan?

It can be hard to accept, but I don't think it's ever safe to just let go and eat whatever we want, in the quantities that we want, when we want. For whatever reason, some of us have broken food cues and no "off" switch, so we have to make choices with our brains, not our stomachs.

Such interesting stuff and MEG I can't thank you enough for taking all this time to respond to me. Yes, this may be the key for me. Though I''m allowing myself a spluge meal, there's really only so much splurging a gal like me can do. I can't make it a free for all. I still and will always need to set boundaries. That intuitive thing, the cut off switch - well I was definitely passed over that when they were handing them out.

Really, what was I thinking? You know I was answering another thread here at 3FC, I mentioned that I count calories and it hit me - ummm, no I don't. Kind of what Kara, you were saying. I count MOST of my calories - for some reason, I haven't been counting those night out meals of mine - and that was a big mistake. I surely can't count them to a T, but I most definitely CAN approximate them and can keep a tally in my head. Approximating them will definitely help to keep me in check. TO SET LIMITS. MUCH NEEDED LIMITS. Oy. Oy. Oy. Maintenance BLIP. All right. I'm okay. It's all going to be fine. Thanks GALS. ALL of you. Each and every one for all of your brilliant insights and perspectives. VERY HELPFUL. What a great TEAM this is. I'm so glad to be a part of it.

Oh and after another great day yesterday (no fooling myself, it's still not the weekend) I was tempted to hop on the scale this morning, almost did it. But I said, nope. Let me wait til Monday. I did make a deal with myself. I guess I'm playing a little game with myself.

Cute thing happened yesterday. I was taking my daughter for glasses, easily the 10th store we've been too, by the way. I was trying a pair on and I said that I didn't like them. The man in the store said, "That's because you have such a small face, they're too big for you." I literally jumped back and gave him a strange look, though he didn't notice it. He think's I've got a little face? He should have known me back in the day. Oh and he should have known me a couple of weeks ago. It's very strange meeting and conversing with people who have never known me when I was 287 lbs. Very strange. If only they would know. Anyway, that made me feel good and made me realize that vow I made to never go back to where I was has got to stay in tact. And not going back to where I was means never getting into the 130's. Yeah, I know, it's a little game I'm playing, this ONE time- but I'm waiting til Monday to step on the scale. Yup, for sure.

Kara Right back. Very next day. YES, you really CAN do this.

Have a great one.

[4rabbit]

Hi maintainers,

Lily - that dog is awfull!!!

Just zooming through to mention that i dis NRWL today, and that I started on a 3 day test to see if i can eat clean for 3 days. Sofar, i have not eaten clean in th entire past weeks what with stress atc. But he fact of the matter is that there will always be stress, always an excuse not to stick to pan. So after i saw that the scale is way up over my boundaires, I'm putting my self on the right track. Again.

Have a great day all,
Rabbit

[DGAdDawg]

Hello everyone!

Anne- So sorry about your dog. I hugged my big lazy one for you. It always hurts to lose a pet. I think the way I lost my cat of 14 years is the best---she just went away. Cats tend to do that; They know their time is coming and they just leave. I'm pretty sure thats what she did; I'm hoping Coyotes didn't get her.

Well, I officially accepted the job in Memphis! I start March 17th, with the option of starting the middle of the week before if I am ready. We are heading up to Memphis this weekend to look at apartments. I'm excited I'll only have to pay $15 for the Y....hooray for benefits!!

[Megan1982]

Originally Posted by tomandkara

I feel like a big moron, but I seriously just recently realized that it doesn't matter whether you're counting them or not, the calories are still there. I somehow duped myself into thinking before that if I wasn't paying attention to how many calories I was consuming that it wouldn't matter. As if I could only go over my required amount if I actually counted. I don't even know if that makes any sense, but I've realized that I'm always held responsible for my choices, whether they were made in sound mind or not!

You're definitely not alone, I've fooled myself with this one before, too. Usually in the process of a binge. Or sometimes when eating standing up. Or eating really quickly. Like the faster you eat, the fewer of the calories count. Yup... improving binge issues and habits is still a work in progress for me.

So yesterday when I got an invite from a friend for taco night, a friend who I've turned down the last several invites for, I felt obligated to go (reminding myself of my comment about how I'd rather be social and learn to control my eating...). Our conversation yesterday was definitely on my mind, and I cut out the taco shell, saturated fatty toppings, and stopped eating as soon as I felt satisfied. I logged into fitday this morning and found that I had eaten about 2200 calories yesterday - this would be ok for maintaining but not losing - but I think I am on the road to making good social choices. Normally I would have eaten all the bad stuff, in greater quantities, too.

NSV at the gym yesterday. I saw two women I knew who had just joined. One of them said loudly, intending for me to hear, "When I'm done with this [working out at the gym for a few months] I want Megan's body" and the other woman said "me too". It was nice to hear.

DGAdDawg, congrats on taking the job! A big move, how exciting. Keep us posted on how everything is going!

Kara, you CAN do this! Way to get back on track right away.

Today I'm starting stage 2 of NRLW. Wish me luck. Have a great day everyone!

[paperclippy]

Hi everyone! Food has been going well for me, and weight has been going down. I'm not sure how much of it is my own willpower though and how much has to do with the medications I'm taking. I think the Cymbalta may be curbing my appetite somewhat, and I'm a little worried my weight is going down because my thyroid med dose might be too high rather than because of my success with clean eating. To be honest I'm hesitant to call my doc up about it because if my weight is going down, I don't want to stop it until I get back to goal.

In other news, we've been seeing wildlife lately! Last night on our way home we saw a coyote running from an abandoned field into our subdivision (I think it was a coyote, it may have been a fox). This morning I saw a rabbit hopping across our neighbor's yard! Plus a couple birds have moved into a tree in our front yard. Those of you who live closer to nature are probably laughing at me, but I'm a city girl and where I grew up the only wildlife around were birds and squirrels, and the occasional opossum.

Who else is ready for winter to be over??? I hate this time of year. The last months of winter are when I get the most homesick for SoCal.

[paperclippy]

Megan - we posted at the same time, great job on taco night and the gym compliment!

[Pacergal29]

Quick fly by for me this morning. I am loving all this talk about maintence struggles/success and learning alot. To bad I didn't apply it lastnight when DH took me out for our anniversary. I did put some thought into what I ordered but could have done better. I guess the good news is I brought the dessert home and shared it with DD cause I felt guilty for leaving her out.

Today is a new day and I think I have DH convinced to sign us up for the gym, he isn't liking the midlife spread he is developing!

Anne so sorry to hear about your dog.

[tomandkara]

Robin, your attitude is so great and you will definitely make it through this maintenance blip with a new perspective and a lesson or two learned. It never stops, does it?!

Baffled, we'll have to keep each other in check with our silly little heads!

Jessica, even if the medicine dose is off, you're making good food choices, and I'm sure that is what's driving your loss right now. Be sure to get the final OK from the doc, though. You don't want your body going haywire or something!

Hey Stephanie! I can't wait to hear about your new gym!

Megan, those friends' comments would have sent me over the moon! What nice pals you have! And great job on the taco. Baby steps, right?!

I'm off on another great day of eating on plan. My oatmeal this morning was just wonderful and filled me up perfectly after a windy, chilly run. Off to get my tomato juice now.

Kara

[Kery]

Hi everyone. That's definitely a fact: I can't stand not doing anything productive. Reading and watching TV is just so boring in the end. It looks like I really need to re-learn what "resting" means, but I'd need way more than just four or five days to do that. Heh. No need to say that this does nothing to improve the eating. (In all seriousness, I'm just so tired about all of this. The more I worry and count and log food, the more I binge. As if I needed even more restraint in my life anyway. All of this is so stupid. Maybe if I didn't care so much, I'd be somewhat less unhappy.)

I guess I'll just resume schoolwork tomorrow for a couple of hours or more, I don't know, and screw the resting thing. I'm not getting any rest in any case, since I can't sleep due to worrying about not working enough and being bored at home and bingeing just to fight off the boredom (no, really, I've spent the fast three days thinking about nothing but food, that's not normal, right?). So what gives. *shrugs*

Oh well. I shouldn't even be here. Maintaining what? What a joke.

[lilybelle]

Hi everyone,

I did have Lacy take pic's of my wounds from the dog incidence and filed them with the police report. Extra ammo for when I need it.

Last night DH and I painted our front entryway. Tonite we'll give it a second coat and then move on to painting the hallway and computer room. I actually like having this stuff to do cause it keeps me busy. Less time to think about food.

Like others here have mentioned, I think writing down my food every day and keeping track of my calories is the key. I find that if I skip writing it down that it's way easy for me to eat too large of portions or "cheat".

My DS left again this morning. He gets to come home again for 2 days starting on April 22nd. It was good to see him.

[Meg]

Kery! You're not going anywhere, young lady!! You belong right here, with us. And if you ever try to leave, I'm personally going to drag you back, kicking and screaming.

Please stop beating yourself up! You've got some physical issues going on that your doctor is (hopefully) sorting out and you've been told to take it easy. I know it's hard to go from doing everything at top speed to doing nothing, but please try.

If counting calories and logging food is setting off binges, then stop! How about an experiment in intuitive eating? Listen to your body, what it's telling you it needs and when, and feed it good, healthy food. Crappy food is only going to make you feel worse, so think about taking care of yourself with healthy choices.

Kery, I know this is a really rough time for you right now, but just do the best you can. No one expects you to be perfect so don't demand it of yourself. And whatever you do, don't leave! We need you here, with us. You are a valued part of our group and it wouldn't be the same without you.

[tomandkara]

Kery, I think "rest" means something different to everyone. I cannot be lounging about the house if there are things that need to get done. My body will not rest because my mind is racing. I would serve the purpose of resting much better by tidying up and vacuuming the carpets than sitting on my laurels worrying about everything being a mess. Maybe getting a leisurely amount of schoolwork done is just what you need to keep your mind busy and your hands occupied. I think the idea here is for you to destress. If you're stressed about not doing your work, then get a bit done and see how you feel. Maybe you'll be more comfortable reading a book for pleasure after you've gotten a couple assignments out of the way.

Lily, I can't wait to see pictures of all the work you're doing!

Meg, thanks for being our voice of reason!

Kara

[WaterRat]

Hi

Jessica, a coyote is larger than a fox, and of course the fox has that bushy tail to give it away. Foxes are actually quite a bit smaller than people think. We see foxes not often, but occasionally near the river by our house. For several years there was a family of them living on the golf course (which is on the river) and the babies would chase golf balls and take them back to their den.

To all of you struggling I say, good job in catching it now! If I'd done that I wouldn't be fighting this battle again now. Sigh. Some days I wonder if I'll ever get back to my goal, but I'm not giving up.

Anne, I was sorry to hear about your dog. Our pets really are members of our family. We had to have our old cat put to sleep last spring, and it was Christmas time before we were ready for a new one. (Who is a hoot btw)

Lily, I think you need to talk to a lawyer about your neighbor's dog. It seems unlikely that you'll ever get the police there fast enough. Although, having it documented with police reports is good. Didn't you say that you've videotaped one incident too?

Kery - resting is hard when you're a person used to doing things! Hope you're feeling better.

Not much going on around here. Weather is much more normal for Feb/March. It's cold in the morning (12F today) and warms up to the mid-20's during the day. It's been nice and sunny for the past few days, and we're up to nearly 10.5 hours of daylight which certainly does my soul good!

My DH has another cold - or a continuation of the same one - or perhaps a sinus infection. His regular doc is sending him to an ENT to check it out. It wouldn't be a lot of fun to go on vacation feeling the way he does.

[elisa822]

I hope you all don’t mind if I jump in here. I recognize lots of “faces”! I think it’s been a long time coming but I never really felt like a “maintainer”. Then I read so many of your recent posts and they really resonated with me. Maybe I am a maintainer. Okay, I’m still struggling to lose those last few pounds but I know that might never happen. And, I’ve been within the same 5 lbs or so for more than two years so really, that’s maintaining right?

I regularly have “maintenance blips” and I constantly struggle with setting boundaries, dealing with food obsessions, trying to accept that I’m no longer overweight by most standards, and trying to figure out how to eat like a “normal” person.

I play the scale tricks. I normally weigh daily but the scale can really affect my moods so, like Robin, I stay away when I think the number will be really bad. I know when I’ve messed up but somehow seeing the number really upsets me. I’ve spent the last six weeks or so desperately trying to get below 130 lbs and then I did. The last week or so wasn’t great – I was hungry, had too many “events” (don’t we always) and got really mad at myself. While I promise myself that I’ll stay off the scale for a week when I think I need to do that, I never manage to last more than a couple of days.

This week has been better (so far) and so tomorrow it’s back on the scale. I’ll come back and fill you in and then go from there.

There’s been so much great information here the last few days and I’ve learned a lot so thanks and I hope to be hanging out here more, maintaining and maybe losing a few pounds with all of you.