I've definitely faced a lot of this stuff over my weight loss journey this past year, and it just keeps getting worse. I get a lot of flak because I don't have a restrictive diet at all, so people see me eating chocolate or other "bad" things and I have to hear about how awful a person I am for eating them! I get a lot of people telling me how to lose weight, too -- lots and lots of advice. I want to say..."You know what? I think I've got it from here, considering I've lost 108 pounds. Take your own advice!" But I'm nice...I just listen and nod, wondering how they have the guts to tell someone who's obviously been successful with weight loss that she doesn't actually know what she's doing.
I get a lot of the "you shouldn't eat carbs" thing. Um...I'm a runner. If I don't eat carbs, I might last half a mile. Besides...I've done all the reading, I know what carbs do to your body, blah blah... And without restricting carbs I've consistently lost an average of 1-2 pounds a week for over a year except for a period of CHOSEN maintenance to train for a half marathon.
Seriously, though, as Robin said -- I would never bother someone about what they were eating. I never have and never will. It's just plain rude. I don't understand why people think it's ok to do that.
She literally started jumping up and down and said "Ah ha, ooohhh, I saw you. That's not protein. Where's your protein?"
Honest? My gut reaction would have been to ask her "Are you drunk?". And knowing myself, that very likely wouldn't have been a wished reaction, but a real one. (No, seriously, but one has to be frigging high to behave in such a way??)
A few weeks ago, I had posted rant about a very similar topic on my blog. Yeah, it really seems to happen to everyone of us, and worse, it seems like whatever we do, we are NEVER right to the eyes of other people. Pay attention to what you eat? oh, you're on a diet. Finally eat that tiny piece of chocolate? Oh, but aren't worried about your weight? Grr. Leave us be, for God's sake, or I will really start to systematically criticize whatever is in your greasy sandwich bought at the burger joint nearby.
Usually, if someone asks, I answer that I'm not on a diet (I'm not, I'm eating in a healthy way, that's all, and if I actually have the need to move my *** more than to just go from the elevator to my car, that's not anyone's problem but mine). If they push the matter, I'll say something along the lines of "if eating normally means gulping down three croissants for a snack, then we have a problem, Houston", or whatever else strikes my fancy. I must have become a rude person in that regard, but I frankly don't care. My take on it is that if people allow themselves to judge, then it means they've already prepared themselves to a counter-attack--and if they haven't? Boo-frigging-boo, barf me a river and go cry to Momma. Hurling boulder rocks IS fun from my side, after all.
My mother is funny as well regarding food. Not in a criticizing way, more in an apologetic way, such as "will you eat what we eat? Is there something else I can cook for you?" (I guess my parents are still used to eating lots of junk food, after years of having to use cheap breaded turkey and the likes as staples due tot being in debt. *sigh*) I've just told her once and for all that as long as there are a couple of veggies, I'll be happy, and will do my own portioning. The stuff I won't eat is mainly breaded/fried things, but that's more because I don't like the taste than because I want to play the haughty holier-than-thou attitude (which is crap, anyway). Ah, poor parents. But they're asking me for advice sometimes now, so I don't mind commenting about food the other way around with them, since they asked first, right?
I get the "she's no fun anymore" line from co-workers when I'm eating my lunchtime salad. I know they don't really mean it -- as far as I know, my ability to carry on a conversation isn't related to what I eat -- so it doesn't really bother me, but I must say it's getting a bit old.
The harder comments for me are, like many others who have posted, from my parents, and in particular my mom. I love her dearly, and truly consider her one of my best friends. But we've *always* had our worst battles over what I eat and how much of it. After 30 plus years of having these battles, you'd think we'd both outgrow them!
She and my dad are coming to visit for three weeks (!) in October. I'm looking forward to their visit very much except the part where I have to explain and defend why I don't eat refined carbs anymore, why I'm not interested in having her homemade muffins for breakfast and apple pie for dessert (well, maybe "not interested" isn't the right phrase!), why I eat my stir fry without rice and my spaghetti sauce without pasta, why I don't eat sandwiches for lunch, etc. If it were just a couple of days, I'd probably just grin and bear it and get back on plan after they leave, but three weeks is enough time to do some significant damage. Ah well, family is family.
It just amazes me that other people put us in positions where we have to explain and justify what we eat. It's so darn rude to comment on what people are eating. As I said in the other thread, I would never comment on what someone is eating, other than saying something like, "that looks sooo good," or something complimentary like that. (And I taught my kids to never say ewww or "i hate that" when offered something they don't care for. Just say, "no thank you.") The fact that we're are dieters and once weighed more than we do makes us open game to people, I suppose.
I don't care for the advice on dieting, either. The other day my heavy sister-in-law and I were talking about what we like to eat for lunch and I was saying that I'll go in these food jags, where I'll want the same thing for lunch everyday for weeks, and then wake up one morning and have to have something different, and then I'll eat that everyday for weeks, and so on. My current lunch jag is cottage cheese and pineapple tidbits. She said that pineapple isn't good for you because it has so much sugar in it (it does have a lot of sugar, I agree), and then proceeded to chow down on 4 pieces of pizza, while I had one slice and a big green salad. Did I say anything to her about her pizza and all the carbs in the crust and fat in the meat and cheese? Of course not! I wouldn't dream of it.
Grrr. Anyway, it's nice to know that we have each other to commiserate with. Maybe the thing to do is to complain to these people about how people are always commenting on what we eat and explain that it drives us crazy, hurts our feelings, makes us self-conscious or whatever, and then let them put the puzzle together.
Good point! I'm planning to relocate next year, and didn't think about this great benefit. Starting a new job also has some of that effect - nobody knows about recent changes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayEll
I like a phrase that another member once posted for dealing with people who are overly observant: "You look at your plate and I'll look at mine."
Beautiful. Short, sweet, and to the point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by junebug41
Scenario: I'm at my sister's. She has "made" fruit. She took some perfectly good fruit and drenched it in sugar and refrigerated it. Not my cup of tea, so I politely declined. She still mentions how this hurt her feelings, which eludes to her issues, not mine, but nonetheless. It almost makes me wish i had just eaten the darn fruit, you know?
Hurt her feelings? Whatever. Don't fall for that! It's silly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaMarie71
I want to say..."You know what? I think I've got it from here, considering I've lost 108 pounds. Take your own advice!" But I'm nice...I just listen and nod, wondering how they have the guts to tell someone who's obviously been successful with weight loss that she doesn't actually know what she's doing.
Yeah, after losing 60 pounds, my ex-boyfriend told me I should buy a juicer. Umm, OK, he's 150 pounds dripping wet, like he knows *anything* about weight loss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MileHiMama
It's so darn rude to comment on what people are eating. As I said in the other thread, I would never comment on what someone is eating, other than saying something like, "that looks sooo good," or something complimentary like that. (And I taught my kids to never say ewww or "i hate that" when offered something they don't care for. Just say, "no thank you.")
I totally agree, it's so rude to say "ick!" about something someone's eating. Just because you have the RIGHT to your opinion doesn't mean it's polite to voice it.
Lots of great ideas here!
Last edited by phantastica; 09-19-2007 at 12:01 PM.
Did I say anything to her about her pizza and all the carbs in the crust and fat in the meat and cheese? Of course not! I wouldn't dream of it.
I mean really. I would never comment on what someone else is eating. A) it's none of my fliipin' business and B) I just don't think about it (until it's brought up). I think people feel threatened or insecure or whatever, which is their issue- but they sure do a good job of making it my issue...
WOW....cant believe there is already 2 pages on this ....what a nerve hitter!
Woman at gym who always tells me I am doing great started expressing a bit of concern that I wasnt eating enough to nurse my baby...didnt bother me as I think she phrased it out of true concern....saw me at a restaurant the day I ran 16 miles and said "you wont stay thin eating here!" (ummm....you are here too?)
My mom and her partner insist that only fruit before noon is the only way to lose weight. They are both obese. They STILL tell me this.
My friends who always bring snacky goody stuff that I CANT resist said something once about how they felt put out a bit because we never buy it and clearly we like it so why dont we buy it. Ummm.. I would PREFER that you didnt buy it either and bring it to my house. If I dont eat their food I feel I offend them, If I do they kind of make comments like "see, you really do want this food".
Or my personal favorite now that I have hit really high mileage "It is so easy for you to lose weight...I could NEVER eat (pizza) (icecream) and lose like you do" Uhh...yeah you could if you burned 6000 calories a week in exercise like I do and only had those things as an occasional treat. (OK, towards the end of summer icecream was becoming a bit more than occasional)
I have to say this is a very thought provoking thread.
I guess I don't eat around enough people because no one seems to make any of these comments to me. Well, sometimes my DD does, but I think that is just her way of joking with me.
When reading Robin's post, I, too, thought she ought to move! JayEl, we think alike!
Megan~if someone said "I can't imagine not liking the food I eat" I would reply with "me either, that's why I'm not having pizza."
The woman that I was speaking about, the hostess of the party, is my DH's first cousins wife. She wasn't high. We really only see one another at family functions. The funny thing is, she is such a snot, she barely said a word to me in the past. Recently, she's been like my best friend at every family gathering. Seeing me take that chocolate must have really gotten to her. Because it is SO out of character for her to make a scene like that. Amazing what seeing a grown woman eat a little chocolate can do to a normally reserved person. Yet alone surrounded by her snotty friends in evening gowns, dripping with diamonds.
I kinda like what Lisa said, "I think I've got it from here" and Jays "You look at your plate, I'll like at mine". But I know I'll never get the words out.
The notion that, in order to lose weight, we have to choke down dreck, fascinates me. Where did that come from? Sounds like a new thread?
That's another thing. I always feel the need to tell everyone, that I absolutely, genuinely love everything that I eat now. They think that I'm some deprived person, living like a rabbit. Why does eating healthy freak out so many people?
Last edited by rockinrobin; 09-19-2007 at 03:01 PM.
That's another thing. I always feel the need to tell everyone, that I absolutely, genuinely love everything that I eat now. That think that I'm some deprived person, living like a rabbit. Why does eating healthy freak out so many people?
I think that it was an unfortunate coincidence that whoever chose the shape of Fiber One chose to make it very similar to the shape of rabbit food pellets. Think of all the suffering it could have saved us if they had decided to mush it into a flake instead!
That's another thing. I always feel the need to tell everyone, that I absolutely, genuinely love everything that I eat now. They think that I'm some deprived person, living like a rabbit. Why does eating healthy freak out so many people?
Oh, that reminds me... A colleague at the office told me that my quinoa smelt and tasted like horse food. Thanks, asshat.
(No, seriously, but one has to be frigging high to behave in such a way??)
I'll have to remember that little phrase! 
