Grrr...

We had two lunches in a row this week at work. Both were not exactly the healthiest foods. I brought my lunch as I always do, and people made some abrupt comments about the fact that I wasn't eating the catered food, even though I joined everyone in the room. They made their comments in front of the whole room (about 10 people), and I didn't know what to say. I'm not trying to make others feel bad about eating the catered food, and I don't want to make it seem like there is something wrong with me for not eating the stuff.

Any ideas of how to handle this better?

I hate situations like that, and it seems to happen often. Why do people feel they can comment on food choices but would never say anything about other choices we make. Anyway...I usually turn it around by saying, but I have bad genetics, or well-if I even touch that food to my lips my body will blow up...something along those lines. I've also truthfully said that I've got a weird digestive system and if I eat the wrong thing it makes me feel sick. I blame my gall bladder or something. Socially sometimes, it's just easier to make these excuses than get into a whole long discussion. I've had a ton of people comment on my pregnant food choices. They seem to think eating chocolate cake would be better for the baby and I than a bowl of fruit. People can be really weird. Good for you for sticking to your plan,

I get comments ALL the time about my eating habits. DH and I were recently away with a bunch of friends for the weekend and we all packed our food and kind of pooled it together. So naturally my contribution was chicken breast, salmon and tons of veggies and fruit. Theres was fried this and that, pastas, meats, cakes, cookies and well you get the picture. Well the comments were flying left and right. I am proud of the way that I eat. So, I try to not let it bother me. But your situation is different, as these were my good friends and they are aware of all the changes that I've made and are real happy for me.

t's funny though, people have no problem commenting on the healthy foods I eat, but I would NEVER, EVER comment on just how UNhealthy they're eating. I'm not sure why they think it's okay to do that.

I kind of like the idea of saying that you have a lot of food "sensitivities" and prefer to stick with your own homemade foods.

I've developed a pretty tough skin in regards to people commenting on my food choices. I live with two friends of mine who have very bad eating habits, and seem to take great joy in criticizing what I eat. It's even rubbed off on their 6 year old daughter, who routinely tells me it's gross that I pack fruits and vegetables for my lunch in the morning.

The both of them are extremely overweight and generally very inactive, so I'm proud of the fact that I don't give in when they tell me I should be eating steaks and baked potatoes with cheese and sour cream instead of my salad and grilled chicken. They turn their nose up at almost everything I make, and say things like "I don't know how you can eat that."

I'm not really sure why they think this is acceptable, I don't say anything to them when I see them piling a 1/4 lb of cheese and full fat sour cream onto their mashed potatoes, or having take out for dinner every other day.

You didn't say what foods were offered--and I don't work in an office with other folks anymore--but what I would do to avoid controversy is eat some of the catered foods, if there were any that I felt I could eat safely. I might eat some of my own food ahead of time, so that I wouldn't be hungry. Then if the others asked why I wasn't eating as much as they were, I could say, "Oh, I got too hungry early, so I ate my lunch already."

Obviously if what they've gotten are burgers and french fries, the choices are pretty limited... in that case I'd just pass altogether, or I might take one of the burgers, eat the meat and lettuce and tomato, or part of it, and toss the bun. No fries, no way.

Jay

I have also gotten a thick skin where negative comments about my food choices are concerned. If it's sweets, I usually say that I can't have it because of my blood sugar. If it's fatty food I say I can't have it due to my "stomach problems". This usually shuts people up. I never say " I can't have that, I'm on a diet". It's seems funny to me that the ones prodding us to eat Junk are the first ones that would say "I knew you were going to gain all that weight back" if we started gaining.

My big quandry with loved ones along these lines is...

Where was your concern when I was stuffing myself with stuffing, cakes, cookies, and pies? When I was eating 2 to 3 servings of your "oh so wonderful, you just gotta try this.." foods? Where was your concern as you watched me blossem into a 200 pound plus woman?

I just chuckle and shake my head now. Because it really doesnt matter to them if I have a tablespoon or a ginormous helping. Bottom line is... They dont want to take it home and have it tempting them. Better on somebody elses lips then their hips!

What I've kind of noticed is when I'm the "biggest one" in the group and just for example we decide to have a potluck at work people automatically assume that I'm going to bring the richest fattiest food! They may as well say, "Oh you're fat so you bring the fattening chocolate cake" would they tell someone who's Italian to bring the spaghetti? I don't get offended when people make an assumption that I'm bringing fattening food I just smile and shock them by bringing something good and healthy!

Frankly, I think it's nobody's business what I eat. If they complain that is their problem entirely and I don't have to justify or defend my choices. If someone's commenting on what I'm eating I tend to just say something non-committal and then I ignore the comment or change the subject or whatever. I refuse to eat things I don't want just to please other people.

They're making comments because they're trying to justify to themselves why they are eating badly.

One time I had gotten a piece of cheesecake at a coffeeshop, offered to share since I didn't intend to eat it all, then ate half of it and left the rest. One guy said to me "Why do women always do that? You're leaving half of it just to prove that you can."

At company lunches, I usually just take portions from the healthier options, maybe a small portion of the unhealthy option, and make up for it at dinnertime or snack on healthy stuff later. I would feel too awkward bringing my own food into a catered lunch. When I was in grad school I regularly avoided attending social events because I didn't want to have to eat the free food.

If its a sensitive situation (and business meetings can be, especially if clients are involved and food is brought in), I usually bring something and say that I have food allergies/sensitivities. This is based on one of my favorite sayings..."I'm allergic to junk food...I break out in fat". No one bugs you about food allergies!

I never, ever, say anything about trying to lose weight. I just don't want to get into it. Like our Scandinavian friend, above, I don't think it's anyone's business. And I hate the way groups of women chat about fat, weight loss, etc. when they are eating.

Jay

Thanks everyone. It was definitely a tough situation with everyone staring at me. I've been there for about 5 months now, so they know that I don't eat junk, but every once in a while it gets brought up. This time it was also in front of some people that were just visiting our department...

The lunch only had one main dish: lasagna, white rolls, and assorted desserts. There was a salad with nuts, too. I took some of the salad, but there is no way that a few leaves of lettuce would have been enough for lunch. I do have some lactose intolerance, and I don't eat dairy, and some of them know that already. That was a built in excuse for the lasagna, but I really didn't want to announce it to everyone. Even if I wasn't, I would still have wanted my food more because I think it tastes better! I'd have it over oily lasagna any day!

Since I've only been working there a few months, none of them know that I used to be 40 pounds heavier. Maybe this is part of the problem because they don't see a reason why I should avoid those foods. Even without this history, isn't it good to keep your arteries healthy??!!

It IS interesting about how people think they can say so much about those of us eating healthy, but I feel that I can't say much about how they're closing off their arteries and increasing their risks of health problems.

Craziness!!!

I used to work with someone like this, and when I eventually asked someone else as to why this person always brought her own food, I was told "allergies". After I got to know the girl awhile, she explained further to me that she liked to eat whole foods, made her own w/w bread, her own p.b., stuff like that. None of us had any issues with it. (other than guilt probably that we weren't as committed!)