Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

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Old 12-15-2006, 02:56 PM   #1  
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Default Twas the Day After Christmas (Dieter's Version)

This is for all of you who might over indulge on the holiday:

'Twas The Day After Christmas (diet version)


Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter
disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


[Thanks to Rose Vos]
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Old 12-15-2006, 04:13 PM   #2  
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Oh gosh, that had me feeling fatter already. Lol, thanks for sharing. I'll try to remember this when I think of indulging.
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Old 12-26-2006, 08:23 PM   #3  
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haha!! That would be me today!!
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:38 PM   #4  
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I was eating leftover candy from my stocking as I read that.

and it's 9:30 in the morning.

now I want to lumber back to bed. *LOL*
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