New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of some pinhead judge who thinks that keeping me alive is what's best for society, or some attorney who is interested in simply running up the bills. This world has far greater needs than keeping my body artificially alive for ten grand a day.

So, if a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

__a Cold Beer

__a Margarita

__a Shot of Tequila

__a Steak

__The remote control

__a Bowl of ice cream

__The sports page

__Chocolate

__Sex

...... it should be assumed that I will not recover. When such a determination is made, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physician to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.


At that point, it is time
to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come
do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we all had together.

Signature: _______________________

Date: ___________________________


I also understand there is a Nursing Home in Ireland that has a Pub. The residents there are said to be happier, and they have a lot more visitors. If I MUST be committed to a nursing home at any time in the next 80 years, this is where I'd like to go.