I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts
with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight
is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 5".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I scream, "When I came in here I was tall
and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on prozac.