Valentine Fun
 

Entries to a newspaper competition asking for a rhyme with the most

romantic first line and the reply in the second line.





a.. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you because I was pissed.



b.. I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.



c.. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar

bowl's empty, and so is your head.



d.. Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face.



e.. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not.



f.. I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.



g.. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!



h.. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife

Marrying you screwed up my life.



i.. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.



j.. My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way.



k.. My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to ****!"



l.. What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime

Love it! Almost makes me wish I had someone I wanted to send such a valentine to....