Male and female procedures for the ATM
 

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this
Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the
procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts."

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures
have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for
your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

**********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE: (Unfortunately, most of this part is the
Truth.!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car
window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and
hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to
its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written
on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt
in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card
into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

I must've been a male in my former life. Except I skip the window part if it's summer. ;) I don't even carry a purse...just a wallet that fits in the diaper bag. LOL

I read the 'male' part and I was like "wait...that's me!" I don't wear make up and I get TICKED OFF when I see women/men in front of me that take a half hour to withdraw some cash. If it's going to take you that long, just go into the bank!!! Obviously, I have ATM issues...;) :D

Nice one though. :)