A Note for All of You
 

Some of you were here last night but I know a lot of you missed what happened. I was attacked in the the thread that I started about falling of the wagon by a poster who had been gone for awhile and then registered a new handle. She posted claiming that she was trying to help me, but the tone of her posts and what she said made it very obvious that she was just here to attack me (she also attacked Lea Ann).

This make me sad because this is such a supportive place and I gain so much from all of you here. This showed that there was someone here lurking and taking notes about what I posted so that she could belittle and humiliate me. This particular poster had struggled during her weight loss and had received so much support here so I'm not sure why she did what she did.

I am losing weight, I am successful, but I'm not perfect and I struggle at times because I am human. Thanks to all of you for being wonderful and supportive (I especially loved your post last night redeborah, it meant a lot to me). I may not be around much for awhile because the idea that someone is following my posts and judging me has me a bit uncomfortable.

POP wishes to you all!

Kristi-

Hard to believe-I missed what happened (and I guess the thread's gone) but don't let some nasty bitter person get you down. If you need to take a break from the forum-PM me if you'd like to be phone buddies or email buddies or something. We Portlanders need to stick together!

I didn't see the post either but, it's ashame, when this is such a supportive site. We are all human and life can be hard at times and we all deal with it differently. Don't let it get you down, the rest of us are here to support each other. I'm proud of your accomplishments.

Wow I never saw it but don't let 1 person ruin it for you . YOU had 1 negative to how many positives I know it is hard but try to focus on the positive people. YOu cannot do anything about people who are jealous of your success.If this board is a support for u do not leave just try to ignore if u cannot keep in contact with the ususll people u talk to by pm or e-mail. Good luck qand I am soorry to hear this happened.

Kristi - I saw what was going on until about 9:00 EST. The last post I saw was Lea Ann's. I didn't respond right then because I didn't want to rip someone while I was angry. I was really pissed (yes, I went there) that someone would do that to one of my buddies. I don't know who it was, but I figured it was either (a) someone who posted before and changed their name to blast you, or (b) someone who posted before but got kicked off the site and had to re-register. Either way, it was a bunch of negative energy. Also, seeing as they had gone from 205 to 130, I guess from the tone of their post that they did it very quickly and steadily with no problems or downfalls - YEAH, RIGHT. Anyway, I was thinking of a response without getting too nasty, but now the thread is deleted. Which is good. But I'm not going to sit back and watch someone blast anyone on this board.

There is a uniqueness about this specific group. There is a level of support you don't find on other boards. Plus, unlike other boards, we are pretty active. There is general chatter all day long.

When I first started posting, I took my queues from other posters who had been here awhile (you, Lea Ann, Katie, JM, LJ, Heather (both of them). There are words of encouragement and kindness from all of you that are not present on other sites. And I know that you all probably took your queues from those before you, just as the newbies take our lead. My point is, that we are all here for each other, through the good and bad. If someone isn't going to be a positive influence, they should just go elsewhere. Not to say we all don't need a kick in the butt sometimes, but that wasn't a kick to get you up, that was a knock-down.

Ignore the troll and keep posting. You are part of our community, and we all need each other in this journey.

Kristi -

I did not see the thread you are talking about, but I am very sorry that it happened. People who feel that they can judge others while hiding behind a computer are cowards. It is unfortunate that someone can instill such bad feelings on a board that is so full of goodwill.

A lot of times when I am writing good wishes to someone who is having a hard time I begin to inspire myself. Posting negatively would bring me down to a place that would not benefit me, and definitely not others.

Find joy in the wonderful posters on this board, you have friends here! Ignore posts by the rude and cowardly ones. I hope you stay here.

I didn't see the thread last night and glad that I didn't. I can't figure out why a person would stoop to such a level as to hurt someone else. In my opinion they must be severely lacking something in their life what I'm not sure...possibly a "human heart"...We are all in this together and all for the same reasons...whether we have the same amount to lose or not. We all do have the same obstacles to overcome and the support that we receive here is a lot of the reason why we succeed. Don't let this poster cause you to turn away from this forum...you are "wanted" she is "not".


Canadian Mom...where are you from in Canada? I am from Nova Scotia.

I am from New Brunswick, Fredericton to to be exact.

Kristi- I was here last night and got in on the posting- I hope you were not offended by my listening to her point of view. I was able to have an open mind about what she said because it was not directly addressed to me. I did print the post out and tape it on my cabinet in the kitchen because it is going to keep me on track. I am very sensitive and often embarrassed about my weight and something like that is just what I need to remember why I started this and keep me going.
I am sorry you were singled out and hurt by it. I too have worried about people reading what we say and taking notes. I try to take in what everyone says on this board and see how it can help me. My only suggestion to you is to get mad and prove her wrong. You have done an awesome job so far, I feel in the same boat as you- it has taken me longer than others but darn it I am going to do this! Hang tough chickie! You can do this!

ljackson, her comments started out ok, and that's probably what you saw. But her tone changed with additional posts, and she said some extremely horrible things. She behaved like a belligerent drunk :eek: Her language and harassment crossed the line and we banned her. She responded by sending me an email message filled with profanity. The surprising thing was that she was always a very supportive member with her original account, and had posted over 1,000 times. Plus she received a lot of support during her own weight loss journey. I don't recall anyone ever talking to her the way she talked to Kristi last night. It was shocking, to say the least.

I had no idea- I shut my computer off after I posted the last time. Thanks for the heads up

WOW! And I was riled up after the first post. Good thing I went to bed early to sleep on it! Must be the red hair of mine...

I wasn't here and Im sure I know who it was...she has gone after people in the past in hurtful ways. She was always given support even by some she had attacked previously. Im sorry for anyones feelings that were hurt and we should support each other whatever the struggle. This site is about SUPPORT and i don't think that just means if you are doing well. Sometimes those struggling need the support the most.

Love you guys
Beanie

Because I’m pregnant I don’t post here regularly anymore, but I still read the posts all most every day and when I read this one today I really felt terrible. I wasn’t on here last night either so I don’t know what was said and who was posting but if I’m correct on the person you think was attacking your post, I’m shocked! This person needed the same positive support all the rest of us needed or need while she was losing and/or trying to maintain and her weight didn’t come off over night, especially near the end. I will say she was very disciplined on the program but not perfect by any means. She had her share of struggles too and many of us were here to listen and give her advice and positive support. I don’t know if this will change your outlook on posting here, but don’t let one bitter person wreck how far you have come.

Kristi--what a great bunch of friends you have!!!!! See how much you will be missed. You are above her and we all know it. I LOVE some of the analogies--troll, coward, nasty--all true for those who are only happy spreading hate and discontent. WE are all in this together and as far as I can tell none of us are perfect (maybe Pearl would come close!) and none are immune to our greatest weakness--but that's why we are here--SUPPORT!!! For ourselves and each other. Maybe another site will support nasty behavior but I am glad 3FC is not that site--thanks a million Suzanne.

Kristi - Okay, I just had to jump in too. I saw a part of what was going on, but decided to take my post elsewhere because her original post gave me an "icky" feeling in my gutt. I even felt something in me rising that was not good, not uplifting, and like I said, that was her first response to you... However I also want to say that when I read this post, my heart about fell to my stomach because my first thought was it was ME that had offended you!!! I know this will sound terrible, but I'm so relieved it wasn't me!!!
Now, getting past the "me" in this... Kristi - there are plenty of people out there just looking for a way to be "bigger" by putting someone else down. Unfortunately, it was you this time that got the hammer. BUT, I always try to ask my boys - Did we learn something here? And my answer is - "YES"!
We learned that the majority of people here (until last night my experience has been 100%) want the very best for each other so much that they will rally around with their support in the bad times and celebrate with you in the good times. At this time, there are a bunch of "chickies" telling you how much we care about you and how proud we are of what you have achieved. So, don't let a "rotten apple" spoil the whole bunch for you! Suzanne has "picked that rotten apple out" to prevent that from her standpoint - so now it's up to you... Are you going to let her deprive US of your input, experience, and great attitude?!? I sincerely hope not!!! This was a "giant" in your life and even though you're feeling like that giant got you, actually what you're finding out is that one of the darts shot on your behalf destroyed that giant. Now, you've got to decide if you're going walk over that giant in victory and go forth into the next part of your LAWL experience with that mighty force on your side - or go on without us.
I hope you'll decide to do it with us!
Hugs and great thoughts coming your way!!!

Hello Ladies
I've only been on a few weeks but have been thrilled so far with what I have found on the site and the feedback I received from my first post about being POP 100% over Thanksgiving and then gaining. It's amazing what weight loss does to people. Personally it is a journey and a battle (I've nearly been charged with assault many times for the things I would like to do to my scale) and once you start to lose it is amazing I have found that some people you would always think would be in your corner may try to sabotage your efforts or envy your weight loss. We all know those 'well meaning' friends or family that try to get you to 'just have a bite/drink', it's a holiday, 'surely one night won't matter and I'm sure we all also know people that make those hidden comments once you start to lose. They may put down the program you are on, scoff at your portion sizes, tell you they never had to worry about losing or went on a better program etc. I think as a whole we can all say those people really lack something in their life. Being a newbie I don't know about this person but if they did do well previously with their loss and now have no kindness to offer to those of us that do it an average pace than her place is alone. She is off the boards, probably has a pretty sad existance with no support or encouragement around her or maybe she gained it back and is lashing out.
From what I have seen in a few short weeks this is the most wonderful place and I look forward to getting to know you better and all the other fabulous women (and men). With a 3 year old and 20 month old I don't get on often but when I do I read each and every one of your wonderful and inspiring posts.
Don't let one bad example take you away from something you love!! You motivate the rest of us!

Kristi: Please don't stay away. You are so important to everyone's success. And we are important to yours. Listen to what everyone else has said.....

We Are In This Together!!!!!!!!

Hey Kristi,
Don't you dare leave!!! This is a support group for when we do good and also when we do bad. The person that wrote those posts was attacked by PM when I was pretty new on here and she was hurt and attacked back. I am floored by her sending a nasty PM to Suzanne. I would have to agree about her being drunk or something because I would never have seen what she said coming, especially in the second thread that got deleted very fast last night thanks to Suzanne. She did have her share of struggles along with all the rest of us. That's something to remember, never forget where you came from and where you have been. Use what you are going through to make you a more compassionate caring person, not to think that you are better than everybody else because you have succeeded on what you have set out to do.

Hey Kristi, As you know, I was here last night. I still have no clue why she would go after you, and then Lea Ann, the way she did. It is true that there are weirdos lurking. It is also true that there are many, many folks lurking that are gaining a ton of inspiration from this wonderful group. We would probably be shocked to know just how many folks are benefitting from our WL journeys. You are a great friend and support to so many of us, and I would hate to see you go away.

BTW, HUGE thanks from me too Suzanne!

Kristi-
Please stay around. :) I had gotten your pm's-but Suzanne beat me to it, as I was away from my computer for the evening.

There is always going to be an unsupportive and negative person everywhere we go. There is a phrase I recall that applies here:

The best revenge is living WELL.

:D

Please stay around-you have a lot of supporters and good friends here.

:hug:

Aphil

Wow..I missed it all..Kristi..I sooo appreciate all your support given to me since I joined over a month ago.....I will watch for such things in the future...People are great here...we all have ups and downs and deal with different issues. continued support from you all is important...This rally shows it...come back and we will watch!!!!:hug: :hug:

Kristi- I am fairly new to the board but it appears to me that you have a TON of support and LOTS of people who care about you. I hope you decide to stay around because I will need YOUR support! :-)

Hugs!
Debbie_Nashville