[ksdiogi]

Originally Posted by Dairy Fairy

Anyway, I know it will get better with time. I don't know why I am telling you all about my binge since I am not even guilty about it...maybe just to say we all screw up and don't take anything I say too much to heart since I am sprouting horns No more junk tonight. I'm sassified.

Got a cheeto or a sole M&M to send my way? I can't walk to the snack drawer or I will be in trouble. I've had my week's worth of fruit. :-)

Thanks for sharing those thoughts and realities. I think that helps (at least me) to know that I am not alone. Katie made a good comment to me but to all, really. We are all inspirations to each other. Let us see the "bad side". Let us recognize ourselves in you. AND... tell me how to record the rest of the night on my food diary... LOL

Okay, I'm off to bed before the bottle is empty.

[aggie2006]

good morning everyone! Happy Thursday!
congrats on the NSV, and SV
DF~ maybe this little bit of m&ms and cheetos is what you needed to up your loss...i hate pms too,...im always crying at the littlest things...hope your feeling better today...

talking about pregnancy. my BF since elementary school, we were both over acheivers, got pregnant when she was 17, had the baby at 18, ran away from home, moved to another state, came back and had another child...pt being her and the babies father broke up last month, she had been seeing another guy on the side for 3 yrs...but it wasnt a relationship as much as a fling...now her and this fling guy are together...and when i spoke to her she said their trying to have a baby together, its only been a month that they have been in a relationship...now im always the one whos scorning her for her choices, i discouraged the first and second child...and when she got pregnant with the first we had such a huge fight we stopped talking, i guess i always thought of her going a different direction in life, i didnt want a child to come in the way of that...we started talking again before she gave birth..i drove down to PA to be there for the birth..the baby was born premature, and a few weeks out of the hospital they found him blue in the crib...he survived but is different, hyperactive, poor speach, still in diapers...hes 5...she blames the hospital for the way he turned out but i know she was smoking pot and drinking while pregnant, b/c she didnt know til a few months into it....i guess my biggest concern is that she barely knows this guy, she already has one son who needs a ton of attention, another whos still a toddler, hes 2...and now shes wanting to have a child with a different guy who she cant even guarentee that he will be there for the long run (he doesnt have a good past with the cheating, even though she was cheating also)...i know i cant stop her, or control her life...but what bothers me is i see how she raises the kids...shes not a good mom...i hate to say it shes my best friend in the world, but shes horrible..its like mothers instict skipped over her....i saw her feeding one of her sick sons hi-c...til he threw it all up all overhimself and she just left him there, then proceeded to take him out in the middle of winter to go pierce her bellybutton~ i drove her to pick up her CC from ex-BF, and i could hear the little one groaning...i wanted to shoot down to the hospital ASAP, the DBF was a great dad on the other hand...he told her are you nuts, get him home, call the doctor, did u give him meds did u check the temperature, all of which the answers where no! i was so angry with her and myself for taking the boy out in the first place...and now the dad moved to georgia and shes left taking care of the boys alone...the 5yr old needs speech therapy, and i doubt she makes the time to take him there..about the household, the place is a mess, there roaches and dirt everywhere...shes got two big dogs too, its not a big place...the kids are always smelly and dirty and sticky...their beds dont have sheets, jsut a matress...she always has to rely on others to watch them...i dont even know where im going with this, im just upset b/c shes 22 now, im not her mother, and there isnt anything i can do...i advised her my opinion...wait a year, see if the dude sticks around, wait for the little one to be almost age of preschool by the time the new babies born..but she said she's still trying...shes hoping for a girl., why have kids if you dont enjoy having them, if you dont cherish their presence! is it to keep the guy around?...i know if shes happy let her be, but when we go out in the summer and party, and when im out here she says shes jealous b/c she cant go out or do some of the things cause the kids are always holding her back...i just dont understand why having another would be a good idea...err...regardless of what she chooses i will be there for her and support her i just wish i had my friend back, the girl who was like my other half...or atleast she had some life altering situation where she realized she has to step up and take care of her babies...

[PURPLEPIRATE99]

Karen - Wow you have done so wonderful!! You should be sooo proud of yourself!! As far as the DSD - that must be exactly why someone as special as you ended up in her life - God knows what he is doing. I loved that phrase that was posted as well. I have a Mom in Savannah's gymnastics class that teaches special education and I told her - I admire you because it takes a very special person to do that!!!

Repo - Girl I must say again - congrats on those red pants!! That red was a sign that you keep getting hotter and hotter girlfriend!

Boo -I'm so sorry about the weigh in - but hopefully the new techniques will help get you jumpstarted again!! I'm with you girl - all the way!

Oh Dairy - my dear Cheeto partner in crime - we must have been sharing the same thoughts....Although my TOM is not officially till next week - I had the same cravings - and I ate my fair share - I felt some guilty - but I have to say too - I enjoyed them - I just skipped my last luna to try to make up some calories!! Hopefully the cheeto monster is gone for both of us!

Aggie - Good morning to you as well!! Wow - what a story about your BF. I can relate but in a little different way. I have a good friend of mine that just emailed yesterday and said she was expecting - this is her 5th baby and the 4th father - granted she is married now - but I was like Oh my Goodness I can't believe it - I guess I'm just different - I want to make sure I can be the best mother I can be - if that means 1 daughter - then that is what it means - if it means more - than that will come when it is meant to be!!!
I guess just try to be there for her - you don't want to ruin the friendship by giving any advice that she might get mad at you for! If she asks - then use that as your opportunity to just be honest!!!!


Carmen - I was thinking last night - Wow - where was Carmen all day!! Glad you stopped in to say hello - Hope today is not as busy for you!!

To everyone else( I would list, but you know - it is getting really big around here with all us chickes and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by missing someone)!!!!! -
Good morning - it's time to get up - it's time to get up!!!
Wake up west coast - the sun is shining and it is going to be a simply marvelous day.......I'm ready for a good day. POP and my back is starting to feel better - still taking it slow and easy!!! Just the way life should be - maybe this was God's way of slowing me down slightly......

[Dairy Fairy]

Aggie,
I know probably everyone will disagree with me, but if I were in your shoes I'd think speaking up for the kids welfare was worth ruining the friendship. I don't know that I could respect a woman enough to want her friendship if I totally disapproved of how she raised her kids. I have friends who I think are more lenient than I am, but their kids are well fed and clothed and are getting love. Those children need an advocate because obviously they don't have a voice (even the 5 yr old). If you want to keep the friendship alive, my way is not the way to go. How strong will this friendship be in 5 years if you sit there with zipped lips and white knuckles every time she does something atrocious to her kids? I guess my feeling is that you won't maintain friendship if she continues this path, so why not confront her and risk ruining it now in order to hopefully help her kids out? If I didn't feel I could be honest with someone, I don't think I could count them as a friend anymore.

[rad7775]

Aggie:
Girl wow, as a mother with a kid that have special needs I can tell you that the longer your friend wait to put her son in therapy the worst it gets.If she don't take care of his special needs now is gonna affect him in his future, my son have autism and I can't be more happy that with a lot of therapy he can be functional in the future. Be a friend is in the good and in the bad and girl, your friend needs help. Giving her a good advice doesn't mean that you are interfiering in her life, what you are doing is helping her. As Heather said look for a good moment and talk to her, BTW where is the mother of your friend, did she see what is going on with her grandkids? Hope that your friend open up her eyes!

[Rebeca]

aggie- I completely agree with Dairy! There is a reason why God put this person in your life and its up to you to make the best of it!

I also have a BEST friend who moved to Raileigh couple of years ago. I kept on going to school, and college, got married, have a good job; but she quit high school. is living with a BF, have financial troubles and here I am throwing her a babyshower in couple of weeks! I have told her EXACTLY how i feel about the whole situation and she does listens to me, but its their first child, and they are trying to make it work! I guess I am more ambitious than that! My point is if you CANT afford a CHILD why have one???? A lot of woman get pregnant to make sure that those guyz will stick around long enough! I hate to say it but i know its the reason why my BFried got pregnant! She might not even admit to it but I know its the truth!!! A woman needs to be financially and emottionally ready to have a child, because a mother is always going to be there...no matter what...

And being a MOTHER is too sacred and not all women will be mothers, and not even all mothers will be mothers... Some mothers just dont deserve that TITLE!

[Rebeca]

Question: I dont do bars at all--- Yesterday I went groccery shopping after my finals ---WRONG MOVE--- I was starving so I grabbed one of the Slim Fast bars 220 cal and ate it! Then when I got home i just had some veggies...How should i count that bar?

[m_everett]

Hello there chickies!!

It's been a couple months since I last posted and I'm finally coming out again . I've been MAJORLY lurking though and I'm glad to see that you are all doing so well. I myself have started the challenge...I actually started w/ TO last Monday (4/24) and have so far lost 3 lbs. I'm doing the TO/10 days w/ Slimdowns/2 POP thing. I was a little off this weekend and went up a pound for it (and it's TOM) but have been going strong since Monday and hopefully it'll carry me through this coming weekend. I'm doing TO again this coming Mon-Tues.

Everyone is progressing so well and although I've just been lurking- you all have still been motivating me to stay OP and to do this challenge.
So-


Have a great day ladies!!

- Marisa

[PURPLEPIRATE99]

Oh wow - girls I just got out of a meeting and read up on your posts - I will have to say that I too agree with Dairy as well - I guess it just depends on where you stand with this girl and what you're willing to lose. I'm pretty outspoken, so I will have to admit - I would ruin a friendship in the hopes that children would get better taken care of!!! I guess I was trying to take the silent approach in my advice.... Kudos to you Dairy for speaking out!!!

[rad7775]

Good Morning Girls:

Boo:
Girl, you have a lot of energy! Look that you have a your hands full this days!

Karen:
Why you? B/C you are a very special person too, what you are doing for your DSD is very beautiful, and as Dairy said God is the one that picked the people he wants for that special challenges, he don't picked her mother, he picked YOU!

Katie:
Girl, so happy that you showed him, and also that you fit on them!

Carmen:
Hey GIRL!!

Dairy:
Girl, we can do a Cheetos club, I can be near salty food, I just love those things!!! Totally relate with you about those feelings and the PMS, Girl, do what you gotta do to made you feel better!

[hkychik]

Aggie, Ditto what DF said!

Speaking from experience - I was on the wrong side of a bad situation and asked my BFF to stand up with me at my wedding to a loser guy I had been seeing. She didn't answer for a long time, then said, in tears, that she couldn't do it, that she couldnt support a wedding she knew was wrong. My feelings were hurt because I thought I really loved this guy, and it put a strain on our relationship. I moved away with him, started planning our new life and 1 month before the BIG DAY, he bailed and went back to his ex wife. Seems he had been sleeping with her the whole time we were together. My first call was to my old BFF, and she flew out to see me and helped me get through it. Point of a long story is that our friendship is now stronger than ever (going on 20 years!) and I really respect her for having the courage for standing up and saying what she thought about it, instead of just going along.

[aggie2006]

we are many many discussions into our friendship...i spoke with her today and encouraged her to enroll her son in school in september, but she said it was a missunderstanding btwn me and her, b/c hes enrolled for sept...but missed this year...as in the welfare of the kids, the problem is she didnt have a mother, her father abandoned her, so in a sence she really has no one to learn from, no one to rely on and no one to help her. or teach her proper parenting, she started very young with no guidance...it was probably very scary and confusing..so she only treats them the way she knows how...shes financially well off, so they are fed (not very healthy) but fed...theres nothing i can do to make her more attentive, more caring or loving...its who she is...nor can i stick an IUD in her! for the most part i havent heard of any great sickness the kids had fallen under, she doesnt discipline them at all, so they pretty much do what they want...taking into account that they are not abused, well fed and clothed for the most part theres nothing i can do legally...if she did something terrible i would talk to her, but im sure if anyone came up to one of you mothers and said, love your kids more, i just dont feel like you care about them you'd feel hurt about it...as things happen i tell her right away, i have no fear...but about this new baby situation i really have no control, and ive already told her how i feel about it...

[aggie2006]

maybe i should have posted since you all got like half a % of an impression about things, but i was just venting...she gets me so frustrated, sometimes i feel like a mother to her! sorry for involving everyone

[Repo girl]

No Aggie, we all need to vent sometimes. Don't apologize. It is so hard to see stuff like that and not know what to do or say. I have seen so much in my career with little kids, and it is very hard. I have had to call Health and Welfare a few times. Sometimes it helped, somtimes it didn't. Sometimes I am just so glad that they spend 40 hours a week at my house where I know they are safe. It is amazing to me to see little children raising themselves. One of my 6 years olds knows how to order pizza (Her daddy manages Dominoes) and she will call and order when she or her sister are hungry. It makes her mom mad, but they are "Swingers" and have "friends" over all the time at night. They drink a lot, and who knows what else with all of their friends, and no one is taking care of these little girls. I for one, am glad that they know how to order a pizza, or they may not get fed. This daycare mom has been a friend of mine since high school. I would like to slap her right now and ask her why she cannot put her kids first, ever? I bathe the little one all the time, because she never gets a bath at home. I do her hair all the time, because everyday she shows up with a matted mess in her hair. The 6 year old goes to school like that every day. So, Aggie, I know exactly what you are saying. And the whole deal gets very frustrating.

[aggie2006]

thanks guys...i wish i was in NY where i can do more...im gonna try and be there more for the kids this summer and see how things are now that the daddy is gone...i read over what i wrote and its embarassing how much my life jsut sounded like the jerry springer show...i wasnt brought up that way, neither was she, i really dont know how it progressed to this...
ok on no better things for now...im still 178 damn it! the scale better be nicer tomorrow...im starting to get boo and DF frustrated!