I want to succeed so bad so why can't I? please help...
 

Hello everyone!
So.... I don't know what I should do anymore. I know that my biggest problem is all mental with eating right. I do like to exercise and I have been exercising more lately and I love it. BUT... I really like sugar, sweets, big portions, and I know what I am SUPPOSED to do but I selectively forget especially when I am with friends and we all like the cook rich foods. I don't even LIKE all crappy foods I eat most of the time but I still eat them AND most of the time, it makes me really sick!!! What is up with that!!!?? Why do I eat things that make me physically ill?? . I LIKE salads, I LIKE fruit, veggies, lean meats, water!! I do really like healthy foods but what is that breaking point that can make me stick with it. I don't understand I know HOW to lose weight I have ALL the tools but what is stopping me? It's ME!! Why can't I get out of my own way?!?!

Here's some background on me:
I am 21 and about 5'6 and 173 lbs my body type makes me not look as heavy as I am which often tricks me into thinking I look fine until I see a photo and I am like WHOA! I have never weighed this much in my life. My mother lost 160 pounds like 4 years ago and I wish that was me. I have a lot of self-esteem issues stemming from my weight and being on the edge of thin an chunky my whole life (more towards the chunky side).

To be honest.... I am so afraid... I don't want to wake up 30 and 200 pounds. What is wrong with me I am really trying to take on a new mindset of being positive but its hard when I haven't lost weight in 3 years. I want to be 140 pounds and I can visualize it in my mind. I want to reach it and I know its reachable but theres this wall in front of me.

Thank you everyone in advance... I am clinging onto hope by a thread living each positive thought barely. Something needs to happen and I don't know how to make it happen.

YOU have to make it happen! Keep exercising, and make a plan for what you're going to eat on a daily basis. Shop and prepare your food in advance. Decide how you want to handle your friends -- maybe you could cook/bake some healthy foods for all of them, or tell them about your plans and ask for their support. Or avoid them, although that doesn't sound very good to me! ;)

Just make a plan, and stick to it until it no longer works! You can do it!

Have healthy foods available to you. In your fridge, at work, on the go. Maybe try some positive affirmations, such as: I like to healthy foods, I enjoy exercising, eating healthy makes me feel good about myself, I control my weight well, I will make good food and exercise choices today, I deserve to be fit and healthy. :hug:

Wow, you sound like I did at 21. I am built a lot like you it sounds like. It was only after I got below the extra 20 pounds I had been carrying around for ten years that I saw what a drastic difference those 20 pounds had made in my appearance.

My mom also lost 160 pounds. Weird. I don't think you need to worry about spiraling out of control like you are though. You are very self aware and obviously health conscious -- probably more than you think. Hitting 300 pounds does not happen overnight, and I don't care what anybody says, it does not take as long to take weight off as it does to gain it. It took ten years to gain 20 pounds for me, and only one year to lose 68.

You can do it! Trust me, you don't want to spend the next eight years wishing you had done this earlier. You just need to buckle down and realize it just won't be as fun losing weight as it is gaining it.

It is such a rewarding task. Once you lose those first five or ten pounds and you see how easy it really is, you are going to laugh at feeling so unsure about yourself. Do it! Find ways to exercise that you love -- for me, softball, running, rollerblading, rock climbing, walking. Anything, just as long as I break a freaking sweat or know I am burning more calories than I am eating.

Good luck to you! You are starting in a great place. I started at 187 and was really at my rope's end. I had no other choice but to start living the way I had always envisioned myself, as a healthy and really fit mom. I grew up with a morbidly obese mom. The things she missed out on me doing while I was growing up and things she missed out on for herself made me realize I would never reach that point. I am sure you feel the same way.

Growing up like that, a lot of the time, can be a pretty sharp reminder of why you want to take care of yourself. Good luck to you!

Good morning Jworion -

I can sooooo relate to your post. I also struggle with making the right decisions even though I know better and want to succeed so badly - especially when I'm with my friends.

I find that for me, I am most discouraged when I think of ALL the weight I have to lose, how LONG it will take - it's so overwhelming when I think of the "big picture" but when I break it down and just focus on one day (or one meal at a time) I do much much better. Its so much more manageable for me to take it one day at a time - make my plan for the day and my "work arounds" if I need to. Plus it gives more opportunities to congratulate myself :) And, when I have a bad day I get to start all over the next.

I hope that helps. Also, here's a quote for inspiration:

"Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times."
Napoleon Hill

Have a great day!!!

Its also time to start thinking about the "behaviors" that cause you to do/eat those things and take steps to fix the behaviors. Worry about the why a bit later.

So if getting together with friends is your problem, do one of 2 things....stop for awhile and concentrate on you. or #2 talk to your friends. Explain that when you are with them you eat bad and its not working. Explain that you could use their help coming up with a better plan. Also try bringing better versions of what you like to eat. There are probably other behaviors you need to think about....

Sit down and make a list of your triggers and then a matching list of ways you can modify and control the behaviors associated.

Also pick up Jillian Michaels book "Winning by Losing" she talk alot about this "behavioral cognitive therapy" and she probably makes more sense...

Hi Jworion,

Reading your message......been there, done that. I always knew my over eating was in my head, controlled by stress, boredom, anger, sadness, any emotion pretty much. Knew what to eat, what not to eat, how much, etc., etc. I found the answer that has worked for me, giving me the control over food instead of the other way around. Just check out Don Mannarino's Think and Lose and see if maybe it's what you've been looking for. Good luck.

Shirley

I feel like I wrote that post...minus the mom part. I can soooo relate to you though. ::sigh::

^^ Ditto. I KNOW what to do and how to do it I just couldn't in the past. I'm determined to now though.

Reading your story is like reading my own! I have been struggling for years and like you it REALLY shows when I see a picture of myself out with friends and I started to realize... wow... I really am "the fat one" of the group. I needed to get my s*it together! Like you, I don't mind the exercise and I get those KILLER cravings that make me feel like if I don't get that EXACT food that I have been thinking about I wont be happy... but then I'd eat it and I'd feel terrible and guilty.
I KNOW you can do this. I just started a Lifestyles program with my local nutritionist/trainer at a clinic. While it was a bit expensive, I figure, I've tried everything else and spent SO MUCH money on weight loss programs that I haven't stuck to... I needed something that would hold me accountable for my progress and let me know that SOMEONE was watching over my weight and that someone other than myself KNOWS how much I weigh. All too often my friends say "YOUR NOT FAT" but I know I am. My frame is also deceiving. They're just being nice. But now I need to be real and tell myself, I AM fat and I WONT be anymore. YOU CAN DO THIS. there are hundreds of people on here that are ready to help and support you if you put in the time and support them in return. IT's easier with a group.

check out my blog and if you want help i'm here. we are so young, we need to do this now so that we can LIVE our LIVES to the fullest! I have so much faith in you!

You CAN do it and you WILL. Make it your project, make it all about you. Do it for yourself, and have fun with all of your small successes!

It's the little kid inside of you telling you to eat this or that but you have to be the adult and say no!!!!!!!