I passed up donuts at work! Major credit for me! And my belt is in a notch today. Happy dance!

Tera, nice going on all your !

Olive, good to hear you are right where I am. We can probably get some great ideas from each other. I'm actually making progress on my schedule, and will post more tomorrow when I have more time. I found nothing, nada, el zippo during the week, but there is hope on the horizon with DS growing up, and I found some weekend things to do. Plus if I look at the energy part of time and energy, I think I can milk that a bit.

RobinW, I think you need credit for eating well when your hip is bothering you.

Jeanie, sounds like you are also doing well. How old is your son? DS is actually a great sleeper compared to DD, and is (almost) sleeping through the night about half the time. I just have so much tired stored up, it is going to take a while to get completely right.

Welcome BorntoFly!

Bill, good for you for purging. I have a horrible book habit myself.

bennyhannamama, thanks for mentioning the Google calendar reminder thing. I'm now giving that a try as well.

Anne

BornToFly

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.

And, in case you didn't get this when you joined 3FC last year,

How did you initially find out about The Beck Diet Solution?

And how did you find this thread?

Diet Coaches - Packed today's lunch last night; first time I've ever done that instead of packing it in the morning. CREDIT moi for working a schedule issue to try to get to work earlier, so I can leave earlier, so I can get to the gym even though we're going out this evening. I'm inspired by all you VERY busy people who manage to cram exercise into schedules with no time.

shrinkin - Waving.

Robin (RobinW) - Yeah that the hip is feeling a little better. Ouch that it continues to be a pain. Kudos for eating on plan despite that distraction.

Jeanie (Kuhljeanie) - Kudos for staying late to do your gym; boy that's tough when there's so little time in the schedule. Neat that you continue to try different approaches - the low today, high tomorrow - to shake up your stall.

onebyone - Waving. Hope there is schedule relief this weekend.

Tera (twilit tera) - It's a bummer when the internet is suddenly not available for a day. Love the thought, "Babies are amazing!" Yep, I still marvel when someone's baby turns to stare at me, with non blinking eyes, and just absorbs me into their brain. Lots going on in there.

anglemomma210 - Waving. Sending supportive thoughts for the ongoing saga.

Olive2 - Kudos for having your environment in order - that comes from a guy whose environment is, at best, marginally habitable, LOL. Have to laugh at "What if my kids want to read them someday?" That finally happened to me. DD had to read To Kill a Mockingbird. "Why yes, I have a copy, right here." Even found it and handed it to her. Wasn't ready for the response, "Eeeeewwwwwwwwww, that's all yellow and old." Bought her own copy. Oh Well.

wndranne - Kudos for diligent efforts in day 8: Create Time and Energy - know that is so difficult with an infant. LOL, what does "almost slept thru the night" mean? And Kudos for passing up a donut at work. There ought to be food harassment laws for the office where the offender is submerged in a pool of M&Ms with nothing else to eat for a week. That should cure them.

BornToFly - Great time to start reading Beck since there are three others posting about the early Program days right now. Hop on board.

Readers -

Coaches,
A quick report is all the time allowed at the moment. Yesterday totally off the wagon. Went to a lunch meeting, had not planned food and indulged in the pizza. Also, had two small hershey's dark chocolates. Not awful, but I don't really like them, so why indulge in that? Weight is not chaning, but my behavior has slipped.

Missed pool work out with rationale that I needed to be in top shape for Physical therpist eval. She did a strength, fitness and posture eval. Learned a great deal about why I have limited ability to do some things. Deep knee bends is an example. It is not just about the knee. I have limited hip flexion and tight ham strings. So we will be working on that. Also learned about the correct way to contract abdominals. My "old" way resulted in chest wall moving up...this is not supposed to happen if you isolate the abdominals correctly. PT plan is to work on strengthening individual weak muscles while simultaneously retraining some of them to work together more effectively. It is very interesting and challenging. CREDIT MOI for the DESIRE to do this and for arranging it. Now just have to follow thru on the exercises in addition to getting back to the pool.

Have to get moving. Have some blood work to be drawn this am and have an early am conf call. Life is happening and I am not keeping up very well.

to BorntoFly. Will try to post some additional personals later. Have a great day all!

Diet Coaches
Yesterday was my Credit Day. I did okay with this, but I know there's room for improvement.
Some of the things I can think of:
I decided to let myself sleep in the morning instead of waking up to work out without beating myself up (I realized that my body needed sleep more than the exercise right then)- credit moi!

Okay, this next one is HUGE because it was a challenge from 8am-7pm, I resisted the moist, delicious looking, homemade carrot cake one of my co-workers brought in. My co-workers literally started eating it at breakfast and then I stayed at work late and was alone with carrot cake-- but I didn't eat a crumb !! I could have worked it into my eating plan for the day if I wanted to, but it wasn't like I was even craving something sweet, if I did eat it, it only would have been because it was there. Unfortunately, my saboteur was telling me the whole time that just because I was resisting it this time, doesn't mean I will be able to keep this up BUT, I am trying to remember that this is a muscle and I need to keep exercising it to make it stronger.

Oh yeah and I forgot to bring my lunch to work so had to go out to eat. I chose one of my favorite sandwich shops but knew that they have all their nutritional information online. I chose a lighter version of the sandwich I usually get and only had 1/2 of the soup I ordered so I can eat the other 1/2 at dinner with the other 1/2 of sandwich-- credit moi!

I read my ARCs twice- credit moi!

I was hungry when I came home from work last night, but didn't eat and went to bed instead- credit moi! I am good at this giving myself credit thing when I remember, so now I need to send up a reminder system.

Today's task is the mindful eating. I've been struggling with just the anticipation of this step. I really enjoy eating in front of the computer and the thought of just sitting at a table by myself to eat my meals is almost anxiety provoking. I was glad to read that Beck says that this does not work well as a permanent change for most people (I'm not alone!) I just tried something for breakfast that might very well work for me. Although I ate while working on the computer, I forced myself to stop looking at the screen and literally look at myself putting the food on the spoon and watch it go into my mouth *every* time I took a bite. Between doing this and the interruptions from my 4-year-old DS, it took me close to an hour to eat a bowl of cereal with some blueberries I really think this could work because it definitely made me aware of each time I put the food in my mouth. So, we'll see how this goes.

Today my plan is to fill in any of the missing gaps in my Beck book. Because I haven't bought my own book yet (this is borrowed from the library), I'm not writing in the actual book and I haven't made the effort to do the writing portion in my journal. Today I need to do that. Also, I have not made any other response cards other than the ARCs. Have other people done this? If so, for what type of things? So far, nothing jumps out at me as a reason to make a response card, yet I know I have lots of negative thinking going on, so something is not making sense here. (My saboteur telling me that I don't need other response cards, that I won't use them if I make them???)

Oh and there was one ARC that I forgot to post before that is one of my favorites: Feeling empowered knowing that I set a goal and achieved it!

No time for personals right now, but I'm thinking about all of you and hope to get back here later!

Good Morning

Bill~Big Kudos for resetting your schedule so you can get to the gym. Good for you!!

I also wanted to thank you for this.... I know this seems like a bother, but its amazing how fast you slip away from what you are suppose to be doing when you quit keeping track of things. Kinda like my scale avoidance issue. It's front and center now, and a constant reminder every time I go upstairs.

shrinkin~ I always wonder why we eat things that we dont particularly like. Interesting evaluation you got from the PT, sounds like some very valuable information.

to everyone!

Received some bad news yesterday, one of my aunts passed away. She had been suffering for many years with a type of lung cancer that only shows itself in people that have worked their lives in asbestos type factories. She was a housewife. Makes you wonder what kind of junk is being pumped into the air by the steel mill in that town.

My hip is still a big issue, yesterday it seemed to radiate across my lower back. Im still thinking about having it looked at. I want to wait to make sure it isnt tied in with something else. (another 3 or 4 days)

My first order of business once I have hip relief will be to start pilates and core training! Its amazing how much you depend on certain parts of your body to help you move, and when that one part isnt working right, the rest doesnt seem to know how to compensate. Im walking around like a little old lady right now......good thing I colored my hair before all this happened

Have a great day everyone!

happy friday my coaches!

aargh - another flyby. no friggin time! robin, i LOVED pilates. hoping it does the trick for you! it is amazing for increasing core strength. i jumped in too quickly after my c-section, but love love love pilates. i'd go back if i didn't have the wonderful free yoga, which does similar things. kim, fantastic job staying away from the carrot cake. kudos! shrinkin, really wonderful job keeping your focus. you don't sound like you're spiraling into total abandon - just noting where you got off track and moving on. go you! bill, nice trick with the gym bag! sometimes it's the most subtle shifts that allow us to stay on plan. for me, recognizing that even a 30 minute workout is worth doing, when i don't have time for a full hour, has changed things for me. anne, my DS will be 2 in feb. fully understand stored up tiredness! we're planning on a second one, soon. can't wait to remember how exhausting it is from start to sleeping through the night.

have been craving fried chicken since last night. i'm still on plan, but tonight is my night off. we're going out - for sushi. will see if i can ride it out for a few more days, and if it's just PMS, the craving will go away. if it doesn't, i may try to work it into the plan. i certainly don't intend to go the rest of my life without fried chicken!

also may have talked a coworker who does WW into trying out beck to stay on track. somehow we managed to talk each other into training together for the flying pig half marathon (this is the one i did this past year) next may. will be undoubtedly questioning my own sanity on this in the future - although the high i got crossing that finish line was unreal, and it would be great to experience that again, but better trained, so i'll be able to walk the following week. wish us luck!

welcome borntofly! glad you're here!

waving at robin, onebyone, coastalsue, maryblu, and the other busy beckies

Finishing up Day 7, Creating Time and Energy. I found no time at all on M-Th when I work, and just feel like I'm screaming through the days. I did find a couple things I could do. For accountability:

• Put a 20 min timer on my internet usage
• Plan all meals on Friday (my day off)
• Do any meal preprep I can on Sundays
• Balance checkbook/pay bills every Friday
• Ask for DH's help with chores, especially dishes and picking up clutter

I don't watch TV (unless I'm nursing or folding laundry) or do much that isn't essential, and the house is pretty much a wreck during the week and the dog is neglected. The only thing to compromise on is workout time, and well, that isn't happening.

Friday through Sunday is better, but I need some time to nap and drool, and some unscheduled time to get something done that got left out of the week, or (preferably) just play and have fun with the kids. Good for them and me.

I spent some time with the energy side of time/energy, and made lists of things that help create mental energy and that deplete it. I figured out that I'm doing a lot of the 'create' list, maybe not as much of it as I'd like, but after some thought realized I've been rushing through it and not getting full enjoyment out of it. So I'm interpreting my "Enjoy it!" response card more broadly and trying to really get what I need out of my fun activities. I also looked at the 'deplete' list, things like traffic and dealing with toddler tantrums, and found that a lot of the problem is my response to the issue and not the thing itself. So I'm choosing to alter my response to the situations, and put either a coping mechanism (listen to good music in traffic) or a strategy for avoiding it (making getting toddler dressed a game instead of a battle). I know these won't always work, but hey, the only thing I can really change is myself, right?

Anyway, realization is big, but acting on it is bigger, so we'll see how this plays out, and maybe my perception of the time crunch and resulting exhaustion will improve with some work.

I also finished Day 9, which is a long time habit, and fairly easy for me. My short term exercise plan is to finish the Couch to 5K program, which gets me back to a basic running level by the end of the year, and work through the first stage of workouts in New Rules of Lifting for Women. My intermediate term goal is an Olympic distance triathlon in June--I know this is doable, because I've already done about half that distance on minimal training last month.

Jeanie, I hope your fried chicken craving goes away. Sounds like you are doing a great job of managing it no matter how it turns out. Good luck with kidlet #2. I thought I knew what I was doing...

RobinW, I'm sorry about your aunt.

bennyhannamama, I think you deserve big honkin' CREDIT for avoiding that cake! Also sounds like you are doing great with the mindful eating. I'm doing OK with that myself, but just can't seem to bring myself to sit down as much as I should.

shrinkin', it sounds like the investment in time with your PT will pay off a lot for you. I think that was well worth it.

Bill, packing lunch at night takes me about half the time that it would in the morning. Don't know why--maybe I'm more decisive because I just want to get to bed, instead of being wishy washy to avoid going to work. Did you find the same thing? "Almost slept through" in this case means that DS needed his binky reinserted at 2:30 instead of nursing for 30-40 minutes and he woke up at 4:30 instead of 5 when the alarm goes off. I got 7 non-consecutive hours of sleep. Better than average.

Olive2, sounds like you have your hands full. I think going to work is exhausting, but easier than staying home with the kids all day. Well, when the coworkers aren't behaving like children themselves! Beck is certainly helping me to reinforce my old (good) habits and make them second nature again. It is possible to get too comfortable after losing weight, and personally, I see weight management as a never-ending process. Maintenance is something of a myth; there are always ups and downs, and the trick is to keep those balanced, and balanced with the rest of your life.

My timer just dinged (or is that dang?--dang for sure!). See you all tomorrow.

Anne

and Hi to all the newbies who joined us over the week... I've been MIA for a few days and it seems we have many more new Becksters!

and so Good Evening Coaches

Firstly credit moi for getting through this insane week. I completed all tasks including getting the scholarship applications in on time this afternoon.
I'm not even too after this week. I still have a time crunch but it's starting to ease up. Final assignment a 60 minute presentation in Art and Criticism next Wed morning. Topic? Me and my art influences. I have to bring in my artwork and examples of the work of other artists to compare my work too. It's incredibly easy and incredibly hard at the same time. But 60 minutes and I am done with one class for the year. Yay.

Credit moi for continuing to maintain my weight and become more and more aware day by day that I do want to wade out into the waters of losing weight again. Credit moi for knowing there is no shame in retreating to maintenance. It is not failure as I have believed at times but a healthy response to an overbusy life that comes and goes and when the circumstances are calmer I can go again. I will get there and I will get the weight off. It's just not a straight line. This doesn't mean I'm not on the path.

wndranne hello! I have a tough time with create time and energy. In ffact it is a major stumbling block right now. Sometimes we can't go full speed but half speed or quarter speed. Kudos for your regular exercise! Fantastic.

kuhljeanie You're busy too! Kudos for sticking to your plan inspite of the cravings. My resistance muscle is flabby. Going to start some targeting exercise for it!

RobinWSorry to hear your hip is still bugging you. Crumb. I related to the lack of planning/recording = being more off track than on. I too am more off track than on and the keys are always the same ones: plan commit and try to do something physical. It's simple but not easy as they say. Wishing you a pain-free hip soon! And my sympathies about the death of your aunt. Sorry you got such bad news.

bennyhannahmamma Big big kudos for this! Wow. Really great work here. To get it and chose smarter then save half for dinner? Awesome.

shrinkin hello! Indeed why do we eat things that are not our favorites or stuff we don't even really like? I did that for lunch today: pepperoni pocket knock-offs. blecch. Did it cause I was hungry,and not cooking or cleaning the kitchen right now so very very non-conducive to cooking and just wanted to not be hungry. Was completely unsatisfying and made me want to clean this joint up and get cooking some good food! Hoping your PT and you can find the magic combo to get your body in good working pain-free order! And here's a loving to getting your attitude back in line... could use a "gentle reminder" myself.

BillBlueEyes Kudos on being a old-dog-learning-new-tricks re: making your lunch the night before to fit in a workout before a night out. Far out!

Olive2 Hi! Kudos on having an environment supportive of losing weight.
I am sure BDS will definitely help you keep your weight off. It certainly gives you sane tools to use and to come back to time and again, guilt free to just keep going until you get there!

Hello to twilit tera, coastal sue, maryblu, anglemomma210!

Diet Coaches - Goodbye last week. I'm done with ya. Made it to my gym with all the juggled schedule. CREDIT moi. The cause of the difficulty was being available for a demo pilates class from 5 to 5:30pm. So I made it; and the instructor didn't. Bummer. Gonna keep my CREDIT moi anyway. I want to explore pilates to see if that gets me to do the exercises for my core muscles and the stretches that I'm skimping.

shrinkin - Congrats for learning the "correct way to contract abdominals." It amazes me that I can work so hard and not get it right. Ouch for the Hersey's dark chocolates; double Ouch that you don't really like them so much, LOL.

Robin (RobinW) - My condolences for the loss of your aunt, especially with a loss to that type of lung cancer. Continued Ouch for your hip. LOL at "good thing I colored my hair before all this happened" - but with concern. I do hope you get it looked at sooner rather than later.

Jeanie (Kuhljeanie) - Neat to talk a coworker into training for a "flying pig half marathon." And neat name for a half marathon, LOL. Kudos for remaining on plan despite cravings for fried chicken.

onebyone - Congrats for making it through your insane week. And Kudos for keeping a sane perspective at choosing a period of maintenance instead of loosing; sanity is goal one.

anglemomma210 - Waving. Sending supportive thoughts. Hope all is going well.

Kim (bennyhannahmama) - Double Moist Kudos for resisting that homemade carrot cake all day - even when by yourself with no witnesses present and everybody knows there are zero calories if a tree falls in the woods when nobody is around. Sounds like a good interpretation of Beck's mindful eating. My interpretation is similar. I eat breakfast with the newspaper, but paying attention to each bite. When I eat lunch at my desk, I'm on the computer, but paying attention to each bite.

wndranne - Kudos for the diligent work on day 7: Create Time and Energy. Along with admiration for all nursing mothers who find time to even breathe. Remembering the glazed eyes of DW when DS nursed for 30 minutes every hour.

Readers -

Morning Coaches,

Yesterday I was OP for calories, but not happy with my food choices. Had too much wonderful WI cheese and not enough veggies and fruits. Seems like my taste buds have not recovered from the loss of the best tasting fresh food goodies of summer. Do have a fresh pineapple to cut today and will stop by produce shop for some bananas to add. Ambrosia apples have become my mainstay in the fruit and veggie category. Have some squash to cook but have not found the time.

Got in some unplanned exercise yesterday...walked to hospital to have my blood work done (about a mile each way) and in the afternoon, walked to eye doctor appt (about a mile round trip). Old me would have driven..so CREDIT MOI. Did my PT exercises (7 of them at the moment)...and am I sore. WHOA found some muscles I did not know were there. LOL.

BBE-Kudos for deciding to explore pilates and double credit for hanging on to that desire in spite of instructor no-show.

onebyone-SOOOO glad you are back on the board. YAY for end of semester in sight and for getting your scholarship application in on time. Keep on with Plan B until you have the time and energy for plan A....just keep maintaining knowing that you ARE going back to losing. BTW...thanks for the gentle b-k.

wndanne-WOW...you did a fantastic job at assessing your time and energy! I have somewhat overlooked thinking about the deplete items in my life. Will give some more thought to that. Do you have a set schedule for your work outs...or do they just fit into life on the fly? Sending you positive thoughts for the execution of your plans.

kuhljeanie-With you on the "no time" problem. Ouch for fried chicken craving. Yum for sushi and Woohoo for going out. ing remembering you completing the flying pig last year...and visioning you repeating that again this year!

RobinW-Kudos for putting the scale where you see it and for making a plan to work on your core. Ouch for walking like a little old lady. Agree with BBE...sooner you get some help for that hip the sooner you will be on the path to recovery.Sorry to hear about your aunt.

bennyhannahmamma-WTG on resisting the carrot cake...that is really flexing the resistance muscle. Ignore the red guy with horns...you can keep it up....one day (or sometimes one moment) at a time. It took me a while to make response cards...but I did them. They travel in my brief case although most of them are now embedded in my brain. Included in my set are some Beckisms from this board....like "that's not about me" (BBE, for walking by things that are not on plan) and "Be a Sue Antoinette" (coastalsue, for letting them eat veggies when entertaining) and "Persist in Victory" (for staying with good behavior after getting thru a tough challenge).

Sending positive vibes to angelmomma210, twilit tera, BornToFly, olive2 and maryblu and the BAG ladies!

I have to run. Working this weekend. Oh Well.

Hey all...sorry that I was not here but sas at the hospital yesterday...have walking pnemonia. Coughing alot and missed work after my first run. I am a school bus driver and it is hard to drive when you are coughing.
You don't think that stress has anything to do with my being sick do you..LOL. Am so tired of what is going on that it seems to be running our lives right now. Will be so glad when this is done and our lives return to semi-normal.
Thank you all so much for letting my rant and rave here...this is the only place that I really can get my feeling out and feel a little better. No news on dh yet....please keep us in your thoughts. Thanks.

Welp, missed another day, this time due to an overcrowded schedule.

Thursday
OP Food
OP Supplements

Friday
OP Food (as much as possible)
OP Supplements
Planned Exercise 30 minutes
Hip pain!!!

Friday started out pretty well, though I had to cut exercise down about 10 minutes to get to an appointment at an elementary school. On the way back to the apartment to pick up a few things (including my diet diary) I was blockaded out! The construction crew across the street from where I live had cut through the gas main (making it twice in as many months). I wasn't able to track my meals all day, but I'm not dinging myself for it, because this was SO not my fault! (And I stayed in control anyway and wrote it all down as soon as I could.)

The trip to the school went great! I observed in a two Special Ed classes, a kindergarten class and a first grade class, completing all my observations for that assignment in one day!

Then I picked hubby up from work. We went to KFC, I climbed out of the car and nearly collapsed in pain from my HIP!!!!!!!!!! (Is that too many exclamation points?) All this time, I've been trying to get my left knee cooperating again, and now my right HIP gives me trouble!!! I'm getting around with my mother's old walker from when she was recovering from hip surgery, for crying out loud!!

I'm angry. But I accept that my anger doesn't solve the problem. :sigh:

Anne: In answer to your question, I'm in an associates degee for EC-4th grade education at my community college. I plan to transfer to the UNT for my bachelors, either for an ECE or ESL (teaching english language learners) degree. After that, well, a lot depends on these mobility issues. I'd love to teach K-3rd, but I also see a great need for parent education and think perhaps if I channel my energy into that, I could benefit kids more. Plus my knees and hip wouldn't be as much of an issue than if I were teaching to the little ones.

Anyway, to everybody, I'm so pleased to read about your victories this week, even though I haven't time to answer you all individually. Know that I'm cheering for you down here!

Today is Day 10, Set a Realistic Goal. I actually had a tough time with this one, because during the Big Loss, I purposefully avoided setting an ultimate goal, because for me, for this time, it was about lifestyle and not a number on a scale. I wanted to be at a weight where I could live my life the way I wanted to and that number would be what it would be. An ultimate weight goal was so meaningless and could only serve as a point to beat myself with, a clear win/lose number. All or nothing. So I became very anti-goal, at least as far as weight goes.

Looking back and thinking about it though, it was clear that whatever that weight was, it was more than 10 pounds from where I began, so I set interim goals of 10 lbs along the way, and rewarded myself with a new piece of exercise equipment or clothing or something non-food, when I dropped 10 more. This sort of fell by the wayside when I got to where I was living my life like I wanted to without my weight getting in the way, and I promptly forgot about the whole process.

So now, I'm clearly more than 5 lbs from where I want to end up to live my life the way I want to live it, so 5 lb goal it is. I wrote the number on a response card, 5 lbs less than today's weight (I weigh daily or nearly so, so I know what that is). Something to look at, something to focus on. When I get there, I'll do a small reward and write another card.

Oh Tera, I'm so sorry to hear your hip is that bad! It sounds very difficult. I think you are doing great with your food and exercise! I tend to sort of fall apart when I'm deal with real physical issues.

Angelmomma210, pneumonia on top of everything! Yikes. Please take care of yourself.

shrinkin, bananas and pineapples are my favorites! Good to hear you got your PT in. Nothing fits into my life without being scheduled in right now. On Sundays I write out my exercise plan for the week, and do whatever prep I can, program my Garmin for my run, photocopy and review my planned lifting sets, and then I just do it and don't have to think to much about it. I usually have 2 hrs in the morning between when DH takes the kids to daycare and I have to be at work, which gives me about an hour to exercise, a half hour to shower, dress, check in here, and eat, and a half hour to drive in. Sometimes, that just won't fit (early meeting or something) and I coordinate with DH so I can go out after the kids are in bed.

Bill, sorry your Pilates instructor didn't show. That would irritate me to no end, but that is the sort of thing I'm trying to work on now. No use compounding a lousy situation by getting all upset about it and making the bad vibes last. Sounds like you are already there by your post.

onebyone, This is very, very wise. That is the kind of long term thinking that means you'll make it. We can't all be on plan every day--life doesn't work that way, and really grokking that and knowing tomorrow will come and you can be on plan again is just essential.

Anne

Good Saturday Evening Coaches

Here I am. just listening to some music from a site on the net I just discovered ( http://www.deezer.com ) and this means I am mucho worn out.

We got up early to get to an electronic store for opening cause in their flyer we saw they were advertising the Wii Fit. I've been on the hunt for one of these for over a month. DH said he would do the exercise workouts with me and DH needs to exercise too and I want to support him, and it would help me a lot but man you cannot find these here! So frustrating! I'm in Canada and it seems Wii Fits are not. Hrmph.

After the early morning I just could not get myself over to the school and the kiln room and the print room and the making things and the.... just couldn't do it. So I've been planted in the lazy boy, feet up watching a marathon of Mad Men season one. I am on episode 7 now. Inbetween episodes I feel a nagging sensation telling me I should be working but my whole body is telling me I can't. So I am not totally at rest or at peace. Tomorrow I am back at the school again: kiln room/printmaking room. Thankfully this pace doesn't last forever. it ends at the end of the first week of December when my Carp Farmers' Market Xmas show is over.

My food has been poor today. I ate a lot of cookies from dough I bought and baked and ate all by myself. Yes, I binged. My weight is holding still at 255 give or take a pound. I really am vulnerable when tired. Time and time again I see this. Eventually I'll truly "get it", even with this the behaviour stopped right there. Course I was full, but I stopped. Actually being full never stopped me before so perhaps this is some sort of progress. Wish I could say I was OP and on the wagon full speed ahead... I feel like this drawing from a class called "Dare to Use Colour". They have their work posted in the showcases this month. It's a class for people how have never drawn before. One of the ones on display is a pastel drawing of a large nude woman from the back. She's sitting on a chair with her back to us. Her body is bright bright pink and her head is cut off the page. She has one butt cheek on the bright green chair which is tiny tiny and really would not support her but somehow it does. I guess I relate happily to the bright colours and the attempt at drawing (they are daring to do so!)and to the woman who may fall off that chair at anytime. I like it but it's precarious.

Well I have no idea if I just made sense but there you have it.

Guess I'll go watch a few more Mad Men. Awesome series.