Diet Coaches
I'm finding it strange that even though I've been OP with food and exercise and even doing pretty well with the Beck guidelines, I just don't feel right. I can't really identify what the feeling is, but I'm going to guess that it's fear. Fear that I might actually be successful, that I might actually have found the right combination for me to be successful (BDS + Sensewear) and fear that the fear of success will lead me to stumble. Yep, that's it. I think I feel my saboteur breathing down my neck. It's not like I feel deprived or any reason to stray from this plan, other than being uncomfortable because it feels different. And the whole fear of success thing.

Anyway, I started this post this morning and am now finally getting back to it at 3:44 pm (it's been a busy day!)

Tonight my co-workers are having a babyshower (potluck) for one of our co-workers and I find myself struggling with how to handle it. As of yesterday, I figured that I would not go because my soon-to-be-ex is on call tonight and even though it's his night to have the kids I figured he would not be able to pick up the kids in time for me to get to my office. (I only work on Mondays and Thursdays.) I was somewhat disappointed because I really like this co-worker a lot and am so excited for her upcoming "Mommyhood", however, I was also relieved because it would save me an hour of driving (on a non-work day) and more importantly, I wouldn't have to deal with the potluck.

I found out now, that most likely the kids dad (we've only been separated since August and we've been together for 18 years, married for 11, so I'm kind of at a loss of what to refer to him as) will be able to pick them up in time for me to go to the shower, or if not, the kids are welcome at the shower. So, very long story short (sorry, not sure why I felt it necessary to share all those boring details!)- I am going to a potluck baby shower at 6pm tonight. I'm not sure exactly how I want to handle this. I skimmed through later chapters in the book (since I'm only on Day 6 currently), to see if I could glean any pointers for how to handle this situation. I get that I should not go "off program" for this occasion, but since there are no foods that I'm restricted from eating, it is not that clear cut for me. I'm tracking calories in vs. calories out and aiming for at least a 500 calorie deficit per day (averaged out over the week). I've had a really active day and as of right now I've almost met my goal for calories expended and it isn't even 5pm. I also haven't eaten a ton of calories because I've been on the run. I'm thinking about eating a high fiber snack before I get there, so I'm not super hungry. I will then take small servings of food that looks particular good to me. The tricky part for me (and always has been) with this situation is that I'll only be able to guesstimate as far as how many calories I consume. In writing this out it appears that I really only have 2 options. Either don't eat anything at all (unless I absolutely know how to count for it) or do the best I can. I'm a little nervous for going with option 2, but I think that's what I'll have to try.
I'm looking for any advice/suggestions any of you have. I was hoping to get this posted with time for people to respond before I leave, but unfortunately I've been interrupted way too many times and now need to go get ready to leave.

I promise one of these days I will get some personals in!

Diet Coaches - Sending thanks to the person who reminded me that my Botany class was acting on day 40: Enrich Your Life. Class last night deconstructed the flower: stamen, pistils, petals, sepals, tepals, etc. Absolutely fascinating to view how the different plants do the same thing. For the sheer joy of something new, CREDIT moi. Walking got left off my agenda, Oh Well.

Jeanie (kuhljeanie) - Congrats on that second day of the desired scale reading; Kudos for believing that it's "real." Ouch for the sciatica flaring - hope you get some relief for that. Thanks for the tip to think "self-care" rather than BORING. I will make another attempt to try a pilates class.

shrinkin - Waving to the road warrior.

Robin (RobinW) - LOL at "Monday was chicken ..." We didn't have it that rigid (that I can remember) but I do remember that Sunday dinner was frequently meatloaf, to-die-for-craved-by-us-all meatloaf. Sounds great that you did all that physical activity setting up Christmas decorations at the shop before your hip got sore. Ouch that it did, and Ouch that the source might have been your personal trainer. Thanks for the tip to be careful with my stretching.

Anne (wndranne) - Kudos for marching on to day 14: Plan for Tomorrow. At the end of the book Beck suggests that those of us who eat mostly the same thing can make a weekly food plan - even one that says breakfast will either be X or Y or Z with the choice made in the morning. Since I started the Beck Diet Solution six months after I had reached my maintenance weight, I chose that option and have used it for my 14 months on Beck. I agree with Jeanie (kuhljeanie), tracking your levels of tiredness/fatigue is just "freaking brilliant!".

Kim (bennyhannahmama) - Bid Kudos for identifying that getting the feeling right is important enough for some effort. Whether it's fear or something else, it's neat that you're working to fight back against Sabotaging Thoughts. I saw your post too late to send supportive thoughts for your potluck. Smart to work hard on a plan before going. When I approach a potluck without a plan, it's easy for me to overeat. When I formulate a plan in advance, I eat with awareness and feel better both during and after. My favorite strategy is the one you mentioned; I survey all that's available thinking about each dish. Then I eliminate those that are common fare for me, e.g. Cracker Barrel cheddar cheese and Trisket crackers. Then I select the top several items that I'd morn if I didn't have. By this time, a rational attitude toward eating has returned to me, and doing as you suggest "take small servings of food that looks particular good to me" is fun rather than a pain. Hope you let us know how you did.

thinkerbell - Great news that you've decided to get the book and dive in. Yep, thinkerbell went right over my head; love it - thanks for the explanation.

Readers -

Sick kids, sick mom. Fatigue level 9.5. Surviving. Back tomorrow.

Anne

Diet Coaches

Last night when really well! I didn't have a snack before I went to the potluck because due to a late lunch I wasn't even remotely hungry. I chose a vegan potato soup (not very rich, almost like a thick broth) and vegan chili as my main meal. I then had small amounts of 7-layer bean dip, spinach dip, some chips, a few crackers and cheese. I took a small amount of dip to go with raw carrots, celery and cherry tomatoes. I was very conscious of what I ate. For dessert, I chose a small piece of the cake, a taste of a Weight Watchers Caramel Apple Salad and 1/2 of a Buckeye bar. I really enjoyed the Buckeye bar (chocolate on top and peanut butter on the bottom) and chose to have the second half. Although of course I was distracted at times and didn't notice every bit I put in my mouth, I didn't take one thing off of the table without making a choice to have it.

I came home and logged what I ate. I did the best I could and tried to overestimate whenever I was in doubt. The meal ended up being over a 1000 calories, but with plenty of extra calories burned through a very active day and eating lighter meals earlier in the day I still ended up with a calorie deficit!

I find myself needing to pause with the different steps right now. I've made it through Day 7, "Arrange Your Environment" because that was already done. I do have quite a few treats in my house (leftover candy from Halloween, etc.), because I have 2 little kids. But for all of us, I keep it really up high so it's a very conscious decision when we get it.

At work, somebody brought in a can of some type of chocolate/candy and left it right in the middle of the table in the kitchen. I moved it to the side so it wasn't in my face every time I walked into the kitchen.

So now I'm up to Day 8, "Create Time and Energy". I don't feel like I'm ready to move forward yet because I still feel that I need to really concentrate on the principles of the first week.

Bill Was that your first session with a trainer? I know that I've always seemed to struggle with the stretching/core aspect too. Not sure how often you are meeting with your trainer, but maybe you can make sure that you're doing that with him. Also, is there someone you can buddy up with to do these together? If you need more accountability with that, let us know and we can check in with you to make sure you're doing it.

Glad you found something to enrich your life and that you're enjoying it so much. Oh and I think you should give yourself credit for your "oh well" about missing your walk.

Thanks for letting me know how you handle a buffet/potluck. It helps to know that I chose to do it like a "maintainer" would!

Thinkerbell I don't think I ever officially said that!


Anne

Kudos to you for moving full-steam ahead with the program. You are definitely inspiring me! I found your experience with writing out your food plan and your initial resistance interesting. I'm glad you got it done and saw that it was really already done for you. I wonder how many of us find ourselves stuck or resistant to some of these tasks and why we feel that way.

Oh and I too am glad you mentioned the sleep scale. How often are you "measuring" that? Is it whenever you're going to have something to eat? Are you actually logging it or just making a mental note?

Take care of you and the sick kiddos. Hope you're all feeling better very soon!


Robin Double ouch that your injury may be a result of something your PT did with you.

Believe it or not, I do miss parts of Buffalo. My former DH and I tried really hard to find jobs up there when we graduated from grad school but to no avail. We definitely liked the lower cost of living and after having lived outside of NYC our whole lives we really appreciated the small-town feel of Buffalo. I remember the local NBC news affiliate having a contest over the summer where each week a winner was chosen and that person had a BBQ catered by the food person from the news. Definitely NOT something we would see in the NYC area! What type of shop do you own there?

Jeanie

So sorry to hear that your sciatica is acting up I had that a bit during both of my pregnancies and it's not fun. How cool that you are missing running-- that is HUGE!

Your reflections about the #s on the scale are interesting. I think it's great that you're trying to figure it out. I wonder if it's just become more factual for you and less emotional. Either way, I'm glad the scale is moving for you!

As far as the coat, I totally get not wanting to buy a new one when you know that you'll need a smaller one soon. However, you shouldn't feel like you're being punished for not being that smaller size yet. What about getting a coal at a second-hand store or a cheaper one during this transition time?

Oh and I totally <3 my Sensewear-- the greatest thing ever!

Waving hi to everyone else and hope you all have a great day!

Reading

Beck, p. 97

Wow, that was a lot of catching up to do! Been stuck at the apartment with no internet. But here I am at last.

Thinkerbell! I love your username! When I saw it, I knew you and I would get along here! "She's the thought fairy!" I'm glad that you decided to get the book. In truth, I don't look at it as a "diet" book. She doesn't tell you what to eat, when or how much. She just helps you adjust your attitude toward food and exercise. So it's more of a self-directed therapy book.

Anne: Sorry your family is icky...er, FEELS icky!!! Hope you're all feeling better soon.

Regarding the hip: Thanks EVERYBODY for your concern and hopes. Texas assistance is very hard to get. I don't have kids or a documented disability, so I don't qualify for squat. My question is if you are disabled how do you get it documented without assistance??

Mom is offering help. This could get very expensive for her. The thought of relying on her still makes my heart heavy, but I don't know what's causing the problem, or whether I should rest it or exercise it or what! I do know that it hurts more at the end of the day than in the morning, and that the more pressure (standing or sitting) against it the worse it gets. It also goes "pop" if I bend over, and lifting anything (no matter how small) from a standing position is a BAD move.

She's already talked to the orthopedic doctor that got her hip replaced, but his office doesn't take CASH. I'm not sure what their logic is. They said that they had bad experiences with people who stopped continuing treatment because they could no longer afford it. My thought is a) at least they got SOME treatment and b) what's the big deal, you still got paid for the visits they got! Mom and I are both baffled by this.

About the diet: I haven't really been on plan this week yet, just because I'm not really sure where my diet diary is. I did a lot of excessive snacking on Monday. Yesterday, I was a lot better about eating only for hunger. Oh, and here I am at Mom's now... I guess I should check my weight....

Yay! a new low! I've lost about 4 pounds since I last weighed a week and a half ago.

Okay, now for some more good stuff... last night, I went to government class in spite of the pain and the sinus infection that started the night before. I'd have stayed home in bed, but we had a guest speaker. My professor's cousin, Marie Kaufman, was a hidden child during the **** occupation of France. It was worth a little suffering for what could be the only opportunity to speak with someone who might not have survived without the courage and concern of her community.

She doesn't have many memories of the time - she was only a couple years old when it happened - but in her 50's she went back to the village that hid her family and got to meet and hear the stories of all the people who kept the secret of her ethnicity and the presence of her father, who was registered and hiding under the floorboards of the company house they rented. (Even though he could no longer work at the factory because he was being hunted, the company continued to pay his wages to his wife and let them stay in the house.)

I think that about catches you up on my news. Time to do a biology lab.

And again, I mock the "Post Quick Reply" button!

Day 10 - Set a realistic goal and
Day 11 - Differenciate between hunger, desire, and cravings

These are what I worked on the last two days. As far a setting a realistic goal I think it should be whatever weight I am when I can say yes to my advantages response cards. If I'm reading my card and saying, "yes, all of these are true for me now," then I'm at my goal, whatever that number on the scale is. I do know that the number will be less than 140 which is what I've been able to maintain in the past even though it is still overweight for me. So, I am going to concentrate on just losing five pounds at a time, give myself a nonfood reward, evaluate where I am, and move on to the next five pounds.

As far as hunger, desire and cravings go, I feel I can really tell the difference. The only problem for me is that doesn't stop me from eating. Sure, I know I'm not physically hungry, but I want to eat it. Today's task, practice hunger tolerance, should really help me here and reading my response cards too. I want to eat, but I want to lose the weight.

So, today's task is Day 12 - Practice Hunger Tolerance. After I post here I'll read the chapter and decide if today is the best day to do this task.

Anne - Sorry you're sick! Nothing worse than being sick the same time as the kids. Take care and check back when you're better. I'm really enjoying reading about your journey at the same time as I'm doing mine. I appreciate your insights. Thanks for reminding me of the tiredness issue. I'm really lucky now the kids are older I'm gettin a lot of sleep, but whenever I'm stressed about things like upcoming trips, holidays, having people over, etc. I tend to wake up at 3am and not get back to sleep. And it is impossible for me not to eat when I am so tired. It's like food is the only thing that can keep me awake. So, with a lot of stress coming up, I'm going to prepare better. Feel better soon

Bill - How neat that you're taking a Botony class to enrich your life. I hope it's been fulfilling it's purpose. Thank you for being so consistent in posting here and I enjoying reading the quote at the end of each post. It's amazing how quotable this book is. It really helps.

Bennyhannamamma - I know that feeling you've got. I get it too. Like, am I really doing this? Something is going to mess it up. Why am I suddenly being successfull now? When am I going to just give up? All those sabbotaging thoughts. They aren't exactly excuses or rationalizations for going off plan, so they're harder to address and respond too. I think I'll try to make a response card for those feelings and above questions, and the response will be something like, "Try not to give credit to those doubts, and just keep doing what you're doing till they go away." I'll try to come up with something better.
I hope you did well at the potluck.

kuhljeanie - Yay to the scale moving down and being at a weight you haven't been in since your 20s!!!! I'll get excited for you. That's awesome. Keep up the good work. Sorry, for your sciatica pain. I got that with my pregnancies, and man what a bummer.

Robin - hope your store gets a lot of business this season. What kind of store is it? Thanks for the reminder to shop local. I had actually made a plan to do everything I can to avoid the mall this season. I'm a big believer in local businesses. I do all my toy shopping a great local toy store. I can even walk there!

thinkerbell - did you get the book yet?

angelmomma - Hope you're feeling better.

Okay, I'm off to read about hunger tolerance and see if today's the day for me to do this.

Take care everyone!

A quick hello until I can get back later today hopefully. Im networking today Meeting this morning was very lively!! Love it when its like that. Another meeting at lunch (salad is served ) Then its back to the shop to get some printing done before I go home.

Hey is anyone else excited about the blackberry storm coming out on friday?!?!

I'll try to get back later, have a great day everyone!

morning my coaches

so, dumb me, i couldn't stand it and got on the treadmill last night. then i went home to a kid who wanted to be constantly held. i can turn him down when he wants to stay up late. i can turn him down when he wants to eat sugary food. i'll take away toys that don't go outside and i change his clothes even when he screams. but for the life of me, i CANNOT turn him down when he wants to be held, which is all the time when he's sick. so my back is on fire today, and i'm starting to get sick too (couldn't be the only healthy member of the household, now, could i?)

i've hijacked DH's ambien CR, which is fine with him since he's not using it - but it's not a good permanent solution to my sleep problem. between that and the back, i'm probably due for an appt with my md. i'm really counting on exercise to get through the winter blahs. that, and i want to see the 160s. i really and truly do. i spent a little time last night window shopping for nice clothes, and got excited about losing weight again. just had to remind myself that my body really has changed, and it's not water weight from a stomach bug!

glad to hear from you again, tera! i'm pulling for you. help will find its way to you. just not sure what that will look like, exactly. hey, robin! yay for energized meetings! i have an iphone so the bb storm doesn't seem all that revolutionary. olive, i know exactly how you feel. sometimes i even name it: i say to myself, self, you only want that pizza/sandwich/cookie/wings/whatever because you're bored or tired or unhappy, and you know that it won't actually make you feel better. but then i say, i don't care. and sure i want to be thin, but waaaaahhh. every so often, i'll just eat whatever it is, and yep, doesn't really help. just have to trust that the more i work ye olde resistance muscle, the easier it gets. which actually turns out to be true.

go kim! you sound like a successful maintainer! there was an old discussion that anyone who's lost even a single pound, is a maintainer. go you!

bill, your life sounds much enriched! does watching disney's cars 800 times count? i know most of the dialogue by heart. good luck with finding the right core/stretching activity. you'll know it when you find it!

feel better, anne! right there with you. sigh.

twilit tera and everyone,

Thank you again for such a warm welcome. I went to Barnes & Nobles today but it was not in stock, so I ordered one....so I shall be jumping in shortly!

In reading thru the threads, I did see that making advantage cards was the first step. I am currently in an Artist's Way group.....and one of the tasks was to make a collage/dream board. I made mine around weight release and it was THE thing that got the ball rolling....in a way, it is kinda like visual advantage cards. Everytime I look it I feel my inner commitment.

In case anyone is interested the instructions are to take 10 magazines and 20-30 minutes and rip out images that speak to you about health, fitness, weight loss. Then cut and paste on a poster board. In the center, I put a thinner version of myself.....everytime I look at it, it renews my inner vision.


So happy that I found you'all!

Best wishes,
thinkerbell

Woo! My second post today!

I just saw this article about using aromatherapy to lose weight. Apparently there was a clinical study, (published in this journal) that indicated that people could lose weight by sniffing green apple, cinnamon, and pepperment "aroma pens" every time they experienced a desire to eat.

thinkerbell: I love your collage idea! I think I'll paint up something along those lines for myself!!

Jean: bummer for you feeling bad. I'm sorry you have to suffer for it, but I'm so glad you give affection to your little one when he needs it.

There is definitely a lot of sick people lately.

Oh, and I definitely count Pixar among those things that enrich my life! I think we're going to splurge a bit and rent Wall-E this week.

Yo, Beckies!

Exercised my resistance muscle today, and OMG is it flabby...

It took several tries......my tried and true, "no choice", no good. Was repeating to myself to no avail....was going down.

I then went to thinking this will happen again and again, you may as well get used to it...it is going to be like this for awhile...then, yeah, well, tomorrow I can resist.

Finally what worked was "think how good it will make you feel". That did it, but man, does it have to be such a struggle?

I do know this is going to go on for awhile......will keep reporting. Easier to report my Beck coaches here, because our BAG ladies are really doing their own things, and Beck in name only.....they humored me.

Still quite sick. Did go to work and when I came home for my midday..l had such a coughing spell the I thought that I would cough up a lung. Dh was worried too. Still no word on dh. Gonna go to bed in a few. Have a great nite.

Diet Coaches - At the gym I did the stretches suggested by my personal trainer at Monday's session - CREDIT moi - trying to think "self-care" instead of BORING. (Thanks Jeanie (kuhljeanie) for that suggestion.) Maybe I had a little improved attitude, but I did them, nevertheless. OK, for trying to improve my attitude, CREDIT moi.

At dinner DW broiled a full pound of salmon. She put her 8 ounces on her plate and stopped when half was consumed - all she wanted. I'm still not easily there doing that. I left half of mine in the pan and ate all that was on my plate - with the same results, including that each of us was happy with our way of choosing how much to consume. She wasn't doing a Beck exercise or testing herself. Thin people can be so annoying. So my extra and DW's extra is now part of my lunches. CREDIT moi for not eating half a pound of yummy salmon just because 1) the Omega-3 is good for me, and 2) it was there.

Best yet, I just stacked four feet of too-beautiful-to-part-with magazines at the front door to go to my city's magazine recycling place after work today. BIG CREDIT moi. Obviously, it has taken some years to collect that many that I will read real-soon-now but didn't because new magazines keep appearing in the mail. The hardest to throw away were Gourmet with beautiful pictures of food. That shouldn't be as much a surprise to me as it is, LOL.

maryblul - Kudos for exercising that resistance muscle. And Big Kudos for working the several ways to get it to respond. I suspect that you'll slowly convert your BAG ladies over to full scale Beckies. By the by, it was a bit chilly in the Boston area; has winter begun in the heartland yet?

Jeanie (kuhljeanie) - Kudos for holding da kid when he needs it. Ouch for the back. Not sure if doing the treadmill with your back in jeopardy deserves a Kudos or finger wag - sending both, you choose. LOL at "does watching disney's cars 800 times count?" BTDT. It gets better; when my DD was in high school she would veg out watching Dirty Dancing. So I'd wait til I heard the scene and come in and watch it with her. Never get tired of that dance scene.

shrinkin - Waving to the road warrior.

Robin (RobinW) - Ah yes, this is the Robin who considers salad what food eats, LOL. Alas, I try to avoid the likes of the blackberry storm - I'm a real candidate to become a "crack-berry" addict.

angelmomma210 - Ouch for the coughing. Go for the old chicken soup; it works. Sending supportive thoughts for the saga.

Tera (twilit tera) - Congrats on the four pounds in one week, that's awesome. Ouch that the hip remains a bother and Double Ouch about a doctor who doesn't take cash. What are you studying in biology at the moment?

Anne (wndranne) - Ouch, Ouch, and Ouch. Kudos for surviving.

Kim (bennyhannahmama) - What a stellar performance at the potluck - Kudos. And good work in pushing away that can of chocolate in the kitchen at work.

Re my personal trainer: that was about my fifth session in three years. My notion was to use a trainer just to learn the proper form. It seems a bit costly to have a weekly session using the trainer mostly to hold the other end of an elastic band and to count the reps. But I'm going to use him weekly for a spell here to push back on my lax areas, then maybe go back to about once every three months. My ideal would be a class for the stretches - perhaps yoga or pilates - and do the weights on my own. I have no motivational problem with the weights. They have numbers and the numbers slowly grow over time.

Olive (olive2) - Just marching along with the Beck program days - Kudos. That's a neat way to deal with when to shift from dieting to maintenance - "when I can say yes to my advantages response cards" - never heard it stated that way before. Neat to have 5 pound goals for rewards. What rewards do you have in mind?

thinkerbell - That visual Advantages Response Card from your Artist's Way group is so cool. What a neat idea. Yep, you've got a head start even before your Beck arrives.

Readers -

Wednesday
OP Supplements

can't really call it OP for food, since again no tracking, but I did follow all the other rules, like eating only when actually hungry and not getting overfull.

Still sinus blech, still achy. Got about 3 hours of sleep. took forever to find a comfortable position, by that time the decongestant had worn off, so I took more and waited for the nose to stop running then had to find a comfortable position again, and by that time it was 3:45.

Silver lining: Sinus problems have really reduced my appetite.

maryblu: for working out that resistance muscle! also for recognizing the effort and giving yourself credit.

angelmomma: Get lots of rest and water. Be well again.

Bill: for stretching, and for recognizing that too much healthy food is still too much food!

Thanks for the kudos on the weightloss. It was more than a week, and some of it was reversing TOM gain, but I still feel pretty good about it, considering the challenges I've faced this month so far. This week the topic in biology is the human genome and the ethical issues facing genetic scientists now that we've "unlocked" genetic code.


Okay, I'm going to drink a hot, soothing beverage, probably eat some breakfast, and then figure out how to balance homework, self-comforting via videogames, and recovering from lack of sleep.

Hi all. Day 2 home with sick kids. DD had croup w/ strider and had to get treated at the ped. DS is coughing too, but no wheezing for him, and ped says his lungs are clear. I'm hanging in with some sudaphed and a lot of coffee. I did get about 6 hrs of sleep last night, which is way better than the night before. I'm going to work tomorrow, and DH is staying home with the kids, which is killing my day off and only chance to relax.

Both kids want to be held all day and I'm going through a special sort of torture watching Barbie movies all day. I long for Cars.

Exercise and Beck thoughts are on hold until this is past, probably this weekend. Eating isn't too bad with only one slip yesterday-DH brought home nice cookies for DD since she wasn't eating, and, yeah I had some. Even with complete awareness that this was off plan and I'd have to pay later. I did enjoy them though.

I'll check in, but probably won't get to personals for a few days.

Anne