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Old 09-18-2008, 10:10 AM   #121  
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Good Morning

I went to my networking luncheon meeting yesterday......and seriously, it was a big bowl of that assorted lettuce, a few sliced cucumbers and a tomato that was cut in huge chunks. Then the bread that was beside it, was so full of "things" I didnt want to risk eating any incase those "things" were nuts Im sorry, but this isnt lunch!! If women are living on this stuff to stay thin, they need to rethink how they are eating! The whole thing just ticks me off! I ended up stopping at home before getting back to the shop to have something to eat Of course I was very hungry and in a hurry. So you can imagine how all that went.

Then it was off to another bathroom showroom right after closing, because they closed at 7, and that would not have given us enough time to eat and get out there. So...........supper was a toasted tomato sandwich

I need to get my mind out of this funk that it is in and say "oh well" just deal with it, just get on with it. So, today is planned again! Wish me luck!

Bill~ you know, I can hear the music in my head when I read that
A chin up!!! That would be so cool, I dont think Ive ever been able to do those.

Tera~

shrinkin~ WTG on the lbs lost this week!!

to everyone I missed

My goal today is to get the totes DONE today!! I wont be able to get to them until after lunch.....but if I can get them done that would be a wonderful thing!!! Hey did you know pressed totes on their 3rd pressing attract bees? Even the FedEx guy said something smelled good in here! The first pressing they smell like old socks, but something strange happens by the 3rd pressing, it's not so stinky

Anyway.....have a great day everyone!
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Old 09-18-2008, 10:39 AM   #122  
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Firstly, thanks to everyone for the huge 3FC welcome!

BillBlueEyes:Let's see... there was a thread in the 100lb Club that someone else had started about her own frustrations with the diet/not diet cycle, and in a response someone (I'd have to look up the name) mentioned that she'd gotten "the Beck book" but at the time she wasn't really ready to change.

I was curious, so I googled "beck diet" and oila! I found a copy at the city library closest to my home and checked it out after reading the first couple of chapters there.

When I came home yesterday evening, I first checked my CP for new posts on the threads I'd already bookmarked, then browsed my favorite folders. This thread was near the top of the folder, and having recently discovered the book, I jumped in.

shrinkin: I've been using CBT to build a healthier self esteem for the past month. Working to improve my fitness level is really a part of that larger goal for me. So it's a natural fit.

I borrowed a copy of YOU on a Diet last night to review it (I read it about a year and a half ago) and realized that a lot of my ideas about how to judge a healthy meal may have come from that, so I think I'm more comfortable just saying that mindful eating and following the rules I've made *is* my plan. My backup plan will be calorie counting.

I look forward to getting to know everyone here. I realize that a lot of the conversations going right now are in mid-swing, so it might take me a bit to catch up.

Again, thanks everyone! Just being on this path with others takes some of the difficulty out of it.
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Old 09-18-2008, 01:16 PM   #123  
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Hey all...I am here...really I am.

Have been doing great so far. Have found a gal at work that is willing to be my diet coach here. I know that I have you all...but she is able to read what I am eating and I can call her as needed. She has lost alot and is really into exercising....no so much me. Walked for 20 minutes today with the dog and that is good for me.
Been really busy here...seems to never end. My bus routes are really pretty good of course I have a few students that don't want to obey the rules so looks like I will have to make some calls to parents. I usually ask the parent to help me to correct the problems and usually they do..of course there are a few that think that their students do not wrong...even after they watch the video. Oh well....that is life.

I will be home alone most of the weekend so hopefully will get more things done.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:36 AM   #124  
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Thumbs up Friday

Diet Coaches – Took a walk after dinner to buy whey protein powder. CREDIT moi ala onebyone's comments, you gotta go through the steps to have it to eat. Noting with mixed emotions that the season for fresh local corn is ending. The mixed part is because I've added an ear of corn to my lunches every day without any other change. Over time, that's real calories, not just another veggie. It's still hard for me to accept that corn and peas are not to be counted in the same category as veggies, but as starches, like white potatoes. Oh Well. Slept in a long sleeved top - first time of the season. My body is simply not interested in my denial that chilly has arrived.

onebyone – Kudos for giving yourself credit for the entire chain of events to healthy eating: thinking about healthy eating, planning, shopping, buying, preparing, toting, and eating. It continues to amaze me that I have to go through all those steps. It isn't useful to want to eat a healthy lunch if it isn't there. Ouch for your Desire. Good to face it so you can work on it. Good luck with your sales this weekend.

Robin (RobinW) - LOL at bread so full of "things" - what an image!!! Good luck with your planned day. Glad that the smell of the totes has improved.

angelmomma210 - Big Kudos for getting a flesh and blood diet coach; do let us know how that works out. For most of us, that's a dream that never happened. Ouch for the unruly students and Double Ouch for parents in denial. It is neat that you have videos so that you know that you're not crazy, LOL.

shrinkin - Yeah for the right arm; Ouch for the left. Glad that you're training to keep the scales as "just a number." I do like the tag line that says that we track our weight not because it's the most accurate measure of our progress, but because it's the most convenient.

tera (twilit tera ) – Thanks for your path getting to this thread. What an interesting comment, "she wasn't really ready to change." That certainly speaks to a clear self awareness. Yep, I know that feeling of trying to catch up on, what appears to be, conversations based on long histories. Glad that you know to just jump right in. I can only think of two phrases that need explanation. Sue-Antoinette refers to serving guests the meal you would eat yourself instead of what you think they think you oughta be serving. That comes from a statement by Sue (CoastalSue) something like "let them eat veggies" when she made the big breakthrough of serving guests a healthy meal. And Yeti Matadors comes from Erika (eusebius) and, to my knowledge, has no explantion - it's just neat.


Readers – "Throughout The Beck Diet Solution, you’ll learn how to identify and respond to all of these kinds of sabotaging thoughts." Beck, pg 28.
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Old 09-19-2008, 09:02 AM   #125  
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Smile Friday report

Morning coaches,

An OP day yesterday for calories. Back to home Y pool yesterday! Did 50 min of exercise. Noted that harder to get HR up into cardio range. Can do it with "cross country ski" motion but other moves tend to generate only HR around 100.

Physical therapist pleased that travel did not set arms backwards too terribly. Apparently, tendonitis is often this chronic, so still have to be patient with left arm. Slow progress with advancing exercises with right arm continues. Left arm still mostly "resting". Still not "allowed" to do more than two pool lengths of crawl stroke. PT recommended I get some short flippers for enhancing water HR or bike prior to going to pool. Not sure the bike idea would work as heart rate falls back to normal pretty quickly after exercise. By the time I hit the pool would likely be starting over.

BillBlueEyes-CREDIT for walking for whey protein and CREDIT for using whey protein. How do you eat it? Big CREDIT for only doing half an ear of corn a day. Since I steam mine in the husk, must admit to eating a full ear of corn most days. You are right about the hefty calories from the starch.

angelmomma210- for you finding an in person coach. Woohoo for that walk with dog and for OH WELL to travails of unruly students and stuborn parents.

twilit tera-Neat that fitness is already a part of your overall plan. I looked at You on a Diet last week while browsing a book store on the road. Looked very interesting and overall very healthy thinking. Sounds like a great plan that could serve you well for not just the diet, but maintenance.

RobinW-Just when you were on a "salad hiatus"...you get a salad luncheon. Go figure. OH WELL. That toasted tomato sandwich sounds tasty. Keep on planning...you are getting yourself on track. Hmmm, shifting from old socks to sweetness...woo hoo for that. Wonder why it happens.

onebyone-Kudos for labelling that case of desire and for recognizing that just like that food prep, it takes several steps to get consistent on your gym workout. Methinks you got to make both diet and exericse fit into your life...or fit your life around them. One way or antoher, getting healthy and rest of life activities have to work together. I am concerned that as we get to cold weather and mega snow season, my committment to drive to Y in early am hours is going to falter. That was one reason I checked out the other pools. I need a backup plan. The Y is not on my way to work so it is going to get tougher. Still thinking about that. The fact that your gym is on the way to school...AWESOME advantage. Work it in, girl, work it in. You can do it. You have proven that over and over again.

to QuilterinVA, hbuchwald, HisBeloved, Wynter, freer, kuhljeanie, JennyG, Barbpos, cholekai, coastalsue, maryblu, goodnuff, sarahyu and khria and all other Beck posters/readers!

A great OP weekend to all!
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Old 09-19-2008, 09:06 AM   #126  
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Unhappy week 6 day 5 today I am tired of this

Good Morning Coaches

Today I am tired of trying to eat healthy, following my plan, wondering how to get exercise into my schedule better... I think the real truth is I am tired. Period. It's the end of my week today. No classes today, just prep for this weekend's sales. Trying to wrap my head around painting something for the show tomorrow (a new outdoor show for me) ... maybe I'll paint an old favorite perhaps as I can paint them quite quickly and it will fill up the space in my booth. Will need to get started soon if I am doing that. I just don't want to be busy on this my only day off. I need remind myself that this killer schedule is not forever. One more month until the end of October. The farmer's markets end then and my weekend is mine...except for the few small xmas sales I am in. Weekend of Nov 20th. 1st weekend of December. That's it I think.

And my energy was zapped last night by a phonecall from a friend. Her life has been in complete chaos and turmoil this past year. Hard to take phonecalls from her as I am so stable right now, and have been for quite sometime, and I definitely protect this in myself it took a long time and hard work to achieve, and after her phonecalls I always feel a bit unhinged and have to right myself. Not sure if I can explain this but I guess suffice it to say she affects me because she is my friend.. anyway.... She leans on me heavily and sometimes it's okay and sometimes, stable or not, I am not up to it. I wasn't up to it last night so avoided her first call, and her second and on the third I answered because this was truly unusual behaviour and found out she had emergency back surgery on Monday night. Her 5 year old son was just diagnosed officially as autistic, her former partner, the father of the boy, is a knob...no help...he once screamed at her "I am going to ruin you financially, emotionally, and mentally". he just about succeeded. they are in court now battling over access to the boy who he says only has hearing problems due to the mother's neglect. He tried to choke her on valentine's day after they'd been separated 2 weeks... she provoked it he said... he threatened to kill himself and called 911 from his home to tell the police to come and kill him as he was bad... this got him arrested and charged and she got a restraining order which is still in place...she's now afraid he'll take advantage of her situation and really go after the boy (I know he has ZERO interest in that child. Knob.) So this past month she sold her house before she went under financially, moved, was on the road out from under, and went to the chiropractor as her back was very sore and he adjusted her, sent her home and she lost bladder control. Called her friend who has had major back trouble, who told her this is serious call the chiro again and see what he says. they said No problemo, no biggie just come in we'll adjust you again...went in, got adjusted, later blacked out from pain and went to emergency and within 3 hours the top back doctor was operating on the lower three discs and rebuilding them with coral. Ah. Coral. Soothing, from the ocean... She likes to think about the coral there as do I. So today I am going to visit her in the hospital (I believe she is 39 years old...) I am putting together a buncle of cd's to help her heal herself...visualizations, getting rid of anger, all that new age stuff that will not hurt her and may possibly put her in a positive frame of mind, help her to do what she needs to do to move forward. Though I, my friends, have no personal experience of the things she is going through. I know about emotional trauma but physical is, thankfully, not in my history. And, I tell myself, THIS is why I want/need to be in good physical condition. To help stave off major injuries and illness...and if I find myself in that jackpot, to be a strong individual before the event to help myself heal better. She wasn't looking after herself and now knows she has to but how much more difficult will it be now with a back injury on the mend? She was talking Pilates... I think that's a long way off.

Anyway, I have just been watching my friend's life get harder and harder and harder. I don't know why this is happening to her. It's easy to point fingers and really unproductive. Life just happens. I am not going to eat over this, or over the sense of anger I feel at her fate (shaking fist in the air), that's more about me than her. Really, I just need to see her and bring her some funny things and some healing things and let her know her life goes on and it'll work out. As it will. It always works out.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 09-19-2008, 09:17 AM   #127  
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Kudos to you for being strong for your friend. Take care of you too.

We seem to be on some similar paths today. I am leaving work for about 3 hours today to take a friend to lunch who has terminal cancer. She is in her early 50s. Her current treatment is "salvage" chemotherapy (her doctor's awful term for "it won't work to stop your tumor, but maybe we can buy you a few more weeks or maybe months"). She is on a one week chemo "vacation" because it made her too sick so after a couple of weeks of hospitalization to recover from it, they stopped. She is scheduled to restart next week. Lunch today may be my last time to see her alive. She is brave and has endured very much to try to beat the disease, but the disease has won.

Hard to accept that very bad things happen to people we care about and in many cases, we can not control the outcomes. All we can do is provide support and keep our own selves healthier for our own good and for others.

Will be thinking of you.
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Old 09-19-2008, 11:04 AM   #128  
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Morning, Coaches!

Ok, now that I have my plan (YOU diet) and backup plan (calorie counting), I've gone a bit further. I've read up to day 6 now, because anything I'm already doing, I'm not going to spend a whole day on. (So far, apart from choosing plans and printing my Advantages Response Card, I've been already operating in a very Beckian fashion.)

Yesterday I put in my 40 minutes on the stationary bike before logging into my biology lab. I took my amino acid supplement before starting and felt a definite difference in my performance, like my muscles just had more Oomph. (Background info: I prefer swimming for my exercise, because it does more for my muscles and joins without sacrificing cardio, but since the weather's gotten colder and power is so expensive the pool has been pretty chilly. It's not my pool and not my power bill, but I spoke to Mom about it and she's willing to let me heat the pool one day a week. I'm cycling on the other two workout days.)

I stayed on plan with a lunch of brown rice and an organic hot dog and a dinner of my stuffed bell pepper casserole. Didn't face any major temptations and even forgot that I had left over blackberry cobbler in the fridge. Then when it was near bedtime, B (my dh), reminded me and my reaction was, "Nah, not hungry and it's too close to bed."

It was my first day of reading my response card 2x daily. I just really feel great!

angelmomma: Congrats on finding a "fleshnblood" coach (not that we're not flesh and blood, obviously, but it's so different when you have to look someone in the eye).

shrinkin: Sounds like you've been making some great progress yourself. One of my issues with choosing a plan is that I don't want there to be a huge transition in my lifestyle once I reach my goal weight. If I get all the way there and then still have to learn a whole skill set to maintain, that's twice the work and very discouraging. I'd rather just learn what I need to maintain from the start.

I'm sorry to hear about the painful transition your friend is having. I've lost two relatives to cancer. My grandmother was about the age of your friend when her battle ended.

I hope that whatever happens, you and your friend both find the comfort that each of you needs.

onebyone: You're very wise, to be able to watch your own energy levels and feel good enough about yourself to deal with your own situation before trying to take on the situations of others. Your positive attitude is going to do her so much good!

BillBlueEyes: Thank you for the explanations. I think I'll catch on given a week or so.
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Old 09-19-2008, 11:00 PM   #129  
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Hi there,
Ahhhh...Friday! Had a great week at school but sooo tired. We are playing, doing homework and rearranging furniture over here (my 5 yr old dd and I).

I made a gnocchi/pesto/green bean number this week and have "quinoa stuffed zucchini" and a cannelini and green bean soup ingredients on deck. Kudos to me! I continue to graze at night and eat a bit less than mindfully... I have pulled out the "You on a Diet" book to see if that would be a good one to follow. I have WW flex as a backup but don't have any extra money right now to join. I am REALLy trying to figure out how all the overeating is helping me...I cannot think of a direct anything that is reinforcing my rebellious eating behavior. Was it coastalsue that used to refer to herself as the kid in the store who is throwing a fit saying, "I don't waaaannaaaa".... ???? That would be me right now. It seems like so much work (little Beck angel on shoulder responding with "is it REALLy that much work?"...). I know what to do... I thought that I made this "NOT a diet" but a lifestyle change and yet, I find myself repeating a cycle that I have gone through so many times before. SIGH.

I am so glad that so many of you are in your groove! Keep up the great work---

Goodnight...
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Old 09-20-2008, 07:29 AM   #130  
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Thumbs up Saturday

Diet Coaches – Oh Oh. Went to a reception before a concert, you know the high end food fed to those being sought as sponsors, with appetizer trays circulating every few minutes. Good conversation with old friends. Anticipating some exceptional music. Well, it worked. I went beyond my planned eating and had another then another puffed this and mini-Panini that. Oh Well. But also did a goodly bunch of lightly blanched green beans, some walnuts, and black olives - healthy foods them. And I avoided the cheese table all together. CREDIT moi. And I rushed in a gym session beforehand. So CREDIT moi for that also.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Drooling here over "quinoa stuffed zucchini" on deck. Ouch that evenings are difficult. Wish I had a chestnut to help you spin out of this. You are, however, not "repeating a cycle you've done before." You're in a new spot, facing its new difficulties. That some behaviors are similar doesn't put you in your old cycle. You'll put that Heidi insight into finding an evening activity to respond to feelings without grazing.

onebyone – Ouch Ouch Ouch listening to your friend's story. That's a big weight for you to bear supporting her - sending you my best supporting thoughts to stay strong.

And Ouch for tired; makes any sane plan hard to follow. Kudos for hanging tough. Good luck with your paintings for the new outdoor show.

shrinkin - Sending you supporting thoughts as you talk to your friend. Yes, "salvage" chemotherapy is an awful name.

Sounds good that you're back at your home Y! And good news that the travel didn't set your arms back too terribly. Kudos for remaining on OP and continuing your exercises. Re my whey protein: I mix a scoop in 4-6 ounces of skim milk - like welcoming it back to where it came from, LOL.

tera (twilit tera ) – Kudos for completing day 2: Pick two reasonable diets, and for marching on to day 6: Find a Diet Coach. Good step in turning down that blackberry cobbler.

Readers – "which muscle are you strengthening?
Throughout the pages of The Beck Diet Solution, you’ll find that I often refer to two “muscles”: your resistance muscle and your giving-in muscle. I’m actually talking about your tendency to think and act in certain ways. …" Beck, pg 29.

Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 09-20-2008 at 11:25 AM. Reason: Post coffee spelling.
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Old 09-20-2008, 09:18 AM   #131  
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hmmm....looks like I didnt post yesterday. I read everyone tho! I must have gotten sidetracked

Just a quickie note today, Im off to get an installation done.

Have a great weekend everyone!
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:04 PM   #132  
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Unhappy Saturday

Evening coaches

I'm back from dinner and the last outdoor show. Yay. Done. now to finish the farmers' markets. 4 more outings and that's overwith too.
Today's show was okay but I am only even with my cost for the weekend. So hopefully tomorrow will be "all gravy"!

Well yesterday after I wrote about my friend and her back surgery (THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE POSITIVE SUPPORT COACHES I NEEDED IT ... so I did visit her at the hospital and she looks great and seems very much herself which was good) I then called my mother to see how she is and she forgets that no one in my family calls me and so she started telling me she's "in for chemo tomorrow or Monday". Um? Chemo? hello? My mom had a small spot of cancer on a kidney 7 years ago. She took chemo in pill form as at age 74 then they felt she was too old to take the intravenous stuff. The pills killed the cancer. it's gone. Has been for a good 6 years. But now she has nodules growing in her body everywhere and they've decided since she is in tiptop shape at age 81, 82 next week, that they are going to do preventative medicine and blast the nodules so they don't grow and grow, especially to obstruct her lungs. So. To get this information I left two messages with my brother, and then called my sister, who I am afraid to call. She just puts you through the wringer and I am sure she is mad at me for not calling but you know she doesn't call either. So I call. She tells me the facts. i listen. there is silence. i let the silence be. i ask her how she is. She tells me she is finshing her novel now and has to go as she's very busy and has to be back at it. Okay i say and we say goodbye. She didn't ask how I was. O well. I then email my brother and make it very clear to him that I am here to help if he needs any help to ask.

My family causes me great pain. I never know what to do how to be with them and feel like I am being punished for having my own life away from them all. I just am not included in things unless I am in active daily/weekly contact. it's a lot of work to do that all the time. I grew up away from my family, with my grandparents. My grandmother was not the kindest woman, often telling me my mother didn't want me and only she did. And then threatening to send me back to my mother which was only said to keep me in line via fear. My aunt, who was also around when i grew up, did not approve of me growing up with my grandmother and let me know that too. I felt inbetween then and I still feel inbetween now, neither here nor there. it ain't easy but at times it isn't this hard either. It seems I am in for another round of this old issue yet again. *sigh* I wish I could clarify what I want from my family. I don't know what that is. And that's my problem not theirs.

So, once more, thanks for allowing me to bend your ear. the good news is my friend is physically healing and actually getting the rest she needs, and my mother is strong as an ox. All good. And my sister did call me back and my brother did email. It's something. And I didn't eat over the emotions, painful as they were.

Last edited by onebyone; 09-20-2008 at 08:08 PM.
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Old 09-21-2008, 05:23 AM   #133  
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Thumbs up Sunday - Found blueberries

Diet Coaches – VOILA!!!! Found blueberries for $2 a pint while out walking ($5.99 at Whole Foods, LOL). Bought 4 pints to overindulge with DW and to support my desire for summer to not end. Lesson Learned: It's not over til the fat lady sings. For taking care of my blueberry lust, CREDIT moi.

Still smarting a bit for overindulgence at the reception on Friday evening. Even though I planned it to be my dinner, I didn't act like attending a dinner buffet. Oh, excuses are easy: there was no place to sit; the people I wanted to talk to were all standing anyway; the tiny appetizer plates were too small to get dinner in one serving; and the hot food keep walking about in the hands of attentive young things - actually all starving music students. It would have been possible to: 1) wait for a few minutes and psyche out what the walking hot appetizers were, 2) make a plan on the spot for an amount for my dinner - even with a generous allowance, and 3) then proceed to serve that to myself in 3 bounded servings. Even then I could let the green beans and grape tomatoes be as much as I wanted.

So, despite the difficulties of the setting, Beck-esque behavior was possible. I assign myself the task of applying that at the next reception of that sort. Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, those only appear in my life every six months or so. As before, it's not so much the calories of one meal, it's the waddling about in my old irresponsible behavior that I feel is necessary to deal with. Dare I say it, again I fear the dreaded slippery slope away from the sanity of the past three years.


onebyone – Ouch for the pain of long standing family issues. Sending supportive thoughts for your "strong as an ox" mother's treatments. Kudos for facing both of those without eating your way to prevent yourself from confronting the feelings. Good predictor for what your genes will support that your mom is in "tip top shape" at age 82.

And may your "all gravy" sales today be abundant. [Note to self: How many of my expressions are food related?]


Robin (RobinW) - And a great weekend back to you. Wonderful first weekend with the chill of fall.


Readers – "… Every time you resist eating something you shouldn’t, you’re strengthening your tendency to resist in the future.. …" Beck, pg 29.
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:00 AM   #134  
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Good Morning

onebyone~ wishing you lots and lots of "all gravy" sales today!! I love those too! Big Kudos for you, for not eating your emotions. Family stuff can be some of the worst.

Bill~ blueberries for $2 a pint I need to shop where you shop!! Even during blueberry season around here I dont get them that cheap. I dont know what to say about your slippery slope Bill, except maybe pull your books back out and re-read everything. I hate that after 3 yrs of keeping on keeping on, the habits from the past still want to emerge. Its a constant fight you have been winning. Dont let your "inner fatman" win! Squash him down! You'll do fine Bill

The totes are finally done, and packed up Yesterday finished an installation job for a woman I wouldnt want to be on her bad side!! I heard things about her business neighbours that were absolutley NONE of my business .......today starts a serious look at bathroom stuff. We are finally going to get it all done. I think we have a few items narrowed down....we've finally agreed on and picked out the floor tiles!! I have to admit, having a husband that wants to be involved in the process is very time consuming. I love him dearly, but he just needs to agree with me on everything Dont you agree ladies????

I'll be fighting the weekend renovators at lowes and home depot.......lets hope there is a Bills game, and it isnt too crazy.

Have a great weekend!
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:50 PM   #135  
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Wink week 6 day 7 - summary of the day: reasonable

Good evening coaches

I spent the day at the market. This morning you could see your breath and it was freezing. And this is fall. Without the sunshine it's cold but with the sun you can get to feeling too hot. Thank goodness the sun came out. The gravy was a bit thin saleswise if you get my drift. Perhaps the last bit on the bottom of the gravy dish, enough for a taste but it leaves you wanting for more. At least I had some.

We went out for dinner to DH's cousin's house. Got the invite at the art show yesterday and now we are home. It was nice and I deeply appreciated sitting at a formal table with a beautiful table setting in front of me. I actually miss that. May need to take note that I want that in my life more. Makes me chuckle picturing seating my friends at a table like that. We are all so informal and apt to stick to ourselves. Should just do it. I have the weekend coming off and maybe I'll try to get some more cleaning done. I stalled out when school started and with very little time to do things my clean spaces are sliding into piles here and there again.

Thanks for reading yesterday's vent. I am better today. Nothing's resolved I just feel better.

Foodwise I had a few deviations from my plan today. The cold will send me off to look for some comfort food, especially if I am selling outdoors at the market thinking about how freezing I am. Can you say "distraction"? I went into the food tent to get coffee came out with coffee and a cookie. This morning got up late, rushed to market was starving and my friend went out and brought back food that had too many of a certain food group but I ate it: tired, hungry, cold, negative feeling about the day and questioning why I am there at all... see tired for explanation of that feeling... Dinner tonight had apple strudel and small spoonful of ice cream, and a 1/2 glass of wine. Not a bad day on the whole, or really excessive, just not on my plan for the day. Will probably show as weight gain come Tuesday. Oh Well. Don't know this yet as it's not Tuesday. Yesterday was good for my carb up splurge day. Kept it all reasonable. Was happy about that last night. And tonight. Even, credit moi.

Whoa. Now I am exhausted. Have got to go to bed! Good night!
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