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Old 08-18-2008, 10:37 AM   #121  
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Hi there coaches,
I did IT! I rode the 12.4 miles and did a LOT better than I thought I would also. I stayed on my bike the whole time (there was a spot where they said not to feel badly if you have to get off and walk it since it is uphill, switchbacks, and SINGLE file...). It wasn't as bad as the image in my head was and I was able to ride. After I convinced myself that I could actually finish the course, the competitive side of me kicked in...I started to go for it a bit more. I told my team that I estimated that I could do it in an hour and I did it in 45 min. Yahoo! We all did much better than we expected and plan to do it again next year. What a rush and what an inspirational event. There were women of all shapes and sizes and ages doing the triathlon-many doing all three legs. It was a "goosebump" kind of day. There was a huge team of cancer survivors as well. I loved the whole vibe of everyone being so supportive and the event being doable for elite athletes to get their needs met as well as newbies like me! Must bring dd to it next year for the visual of all kinds of bodies in spandex (and other stuff but mostly spandex) feeling so great about their accomplishments and no judgements about looks, etc...

So I have my steel cut oats on the stove cooking now and will wake dd up soon to pick up million dollar car... We will play a bit and I will get into my classroom to begin getting set up.

I went over my ARCs today, am planning my food and some exercise and will be sitting when I eat and will eat slowly...the structure of school is BEGINNING to sound appealing now... still enjoying what I have left of summer though-til the very end!!!

Have a great day coaches!
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Old 08-18-2008, 11:05 AM   #122  
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Default Monday checkin

Off plan for calories by around 400 both Sat and Sunday, both occuring after dinner with food desire kicking in. Food did not satisfy....thought I wanted chocolate, but didn't taste good. OH WELL for disappointment with self. Maybe though I am learning that food is really not that satisfying.

Back on track this am and determined to stay that way all day. Back to taking it one day at a time.

More water exercise that usual both Sat and Sunday. Credits for that! At least an hour each day...maybe more as I stopped watching the clock.

Sunset boat ride last night was awesome. Water quiet, no boats out...just us, the birds and the sky. Inspiring.

BBE, onebyone, and HisBeloved- to each of you for your OP day yesterday!

BBE-thought of you on Saturday when I picked up some spectacular golden cherry tomoatoes....and Wisconsin corn finally in!!
Hbuchwald-for your great bike ride. You rock!

Work at hand and must go!
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Old 08-18-2008, 03:42 PM   #123  
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Default Monday at rest

Good Afternoon coaches

shrinkin Way to go on the swimming! And yeah, sometimes it doesn't matter what I eat it just doesn't do it for me either. There's a saying this reminds me of one bite is too many and a million are not enough. Have a great OP day!

hbuchwald Sounds like the wheels on your wagon are moving forward full speed again! SO THRILLED to hear how well your triathalon went! Mucho kudos for finishing and for discovering you're in better shape than you thought! Awesome sister! Awesome.

HisBeloved I also just used the work book. It was everything I needed.
The two WW plans are good ones. Glad to see you're moving forward. It really doesn't matter what foodplan you do if you self-sabotage yourself at every turn. So glad Beck is around to help us stick to our plans, whatever they may be.

BillBlueEyes
Quote:
" In fact, youll get to the point where youll react differently when you see food you know you shouldnt eat. " Beck, pg 24 and "It's easier to stay on plan than to get on plan."
Yeah I think the whole business of kicking yourself when you're down as in "I went off plan-idiot how did that happen/why did I do that?-and then the OH WELL (inappropriate use of Beck here haha!) I already wrecked it/can't do it/always fail so I may as well have more of food X or why not go and get food Y that I've been thinking about hmmm...?.... is really critical to get a handle on. Situations like yours illustrate that we can be different around food as the quote from Beck says. It is true, we will react differently to food we know we shouldn't eat. I no longer feel mad I can't have it, like a tantrum, feeling deprived. I no longer want to "show them" or feel sad. Food hasn't been so tightly connected to my emotional self lately. I don't know if this will last, food and I have a long history together, but for this past week it was different. And I shopped differently. Many varied veggies and planning for veggies mostly. All new. I feel a littleout in left field but that's good. If you keep doing the same thing you get the same results and I am looking for something different. I hope you get some summer fun in too! BTW are there beaches to go to in the Boston area? What do Bostonians love to do, or where do they love to go in the summer??

What a sticky day out there today. It was really hot with the sun but the sun's gone now and a severe weather warning for thunderstorms flashed on the tv.
It's the usual.

So. I got through week one, am happy to be in week 2 of this plan. The food variety increased three fold. I managed to lose some weight this past week and these are two reasons for a woohoo dance. I look like this when I do it---> ...

I was going to get to the gym today but we got back home from the show late, the car was still packed this morning, I had to straighten out my new foodplan for today, as it changes today, and I made a grocery list so I have what I need for the week and wanted to get that done before the car went back at 2pm. Oh and I had to get to the school for 9am to meet someone who was helping me repair a table in the studio. Rush there, rush back. No gym and not sure what my food should be like around exercising. I have info on that from nadine the trainer and within the foodplan so I need to read up before I go TOMORROW. Busy. Always busy.
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Old 08-18-2008, 03:57 PM   #124  
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Default one Yeti matador just back from a fabulous Parisian shopping trip

...sort of. insofar as packing, cleaning out a wrecked house, and hauling boxes and boxes of garbage and clutter for amvets is similar to fall shopping on the west bank, then yep! that's what i was doing.

it's been a rough one. the house up in dayton was an absolute disaster. dh had a major meltdown while cleaning up the house - finally confronting some nasty, long-term shenpa scratching in his own, inimitable way. he's completely sworn off his vice because it doesn't work for him anymore, but he's been demoralized and feeling extremely disappointed in himself. it has become abundantly clear to me that feeling demoralized and disappointed are so very powerful and so very unhelpful. it's clearer to me when it's me feeling demoralized and disappointed that i just need to let it go and move on.

during this past week, i spent every waking moment working, and barely thought about food until i realized i was starving. once i'd start eating though, i'd get almost bored with it and as soon as i could i'd stop to get back to what i was doing. so even without any meal planning or cooking, and a lot of off-plan food, i still broke even weight-wise. it's nice to know that i can take periodic breaks from dieting when i need to focus on something else, and come right back to it undamaged. did yoga today but i'm on a running hiatus until my aggravated sciatica calms down.

still have many miles to go before i rest. i had a cake order due yesterday for a shower (picture attached - those are edible flowers. the original design included leaves, but ran out of time) and a wedding cake due next sunday. and then, folks, i'm taking a cake break for a month or two. i just need the time to close out the cincinnati house, and it's hard enough working just the regular 40 hours. most of the week off was spent cleaning the new house, and the old one is woefully not packed up. still feel like i'm nowhere near coming up for air. desperately needing to slow down. i've got to be close.

big shout out to everyone!!!
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Old 08-19-2008, 06:01 AM   #125  
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Thumbs up Tuesday

Diet Coaches Little things: Noticed that I no longer pop the last chunk of banana in my mouth when I slice it on my granola. I had done that for years and years. With dreamy white beans for dinner, I didn't have the usual corn chips just because I wasn't that hungry. Hard for me to imagine that I would alter the amount of food I'm eating just because I'm not that hungry. CREDIT moi.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - WhoooHoooo!!!! Kudos for completing your race and Big Kudos for knuckling down and making such good time. Just loving the image of bodies of all shapes in spandex and not feeling self conscious. LOL that the structure of school is "BEGINNING" to sound appealing.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Sending supportive thoughts for your DH to process through his journey there. Ouch for the aggravated sciatica. Double Ouch for being busy even by Jean's standards. Kinda interesting that when you're hyper focused you're bored with eating. Kudos for staying even. Have you seen this wedding cake picture? Click on The Ugly Cake Story in http://www.uglydress.com/ugweddec.html.

onebyone Kudos for just marching through the days of your new plan, one by one. Maybe this is the whole enchilada, "Food hasn't been so tightly connected to my emotional self lately." Gotta believe you're onto something there.

shrinkin - Your sunset boat ride sounds lovely. ... drooling ... "golden cherry tomoatoes" [ /font=Homer Simpson ] Really interesting that the chocolate you ate by Desire wasn't that satisfying.

Amy (HisBeloved) Ah yes, day 4: Give Yourself Credit. Amazing to me that that was difficult; amazing that I had to force myself to do it; and, most amazing to me, that it helps me to accept the positive steps I take each day, which just encourages me to go on. Good stuff you're on.


Readers " Instead of saying I wish I could eat this, and feeling sad, or Its unfair that I cant eat this, and feeling unhappy, youll automatically say, Im so glad Im not eating that. " Beck, pg 24.
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Old 08-19-2008, 07:38 AM   #126  
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Good morning, coaches!

Yesterday on plan for calories. Credit for that. However, felt overfull after dinner. So, clearly needed to stop eating sooner. Did not eat slow enough as evidenced by finishing long before DH did (he is not a slow eater). So need to work on that Beck principle some more. Waited too late to eat and then inhaled food. Have a big project running late at work, leading to working late and then eating late. Bad scene.

Groceries are low so must get to produce shop today and it is a pool workout day today too. Planning in advance to give myself credit when I get those done today.

With falling off the wagon over the weekend and work pressure, feel vulnerable today. BBE and onebyone, you are right about easier to stay OP that get back on track. Have to focus on positive behavior.

BBE-Wow, stoping before you eat "the usual". Big credits for that! Requires both thinking ahead and then control.

kuhljeanie-You have come a long way since your last post. Amazing that you are sill making cakes in the middle of the move. Happy that your move stress is staying under control and not leading to food frenzy. Sorry to hear the running hiatus is needed, but hoping you will be better soon.

onebyone-Happy to hear your mental work has led to behavior changes that have resulted in WooHoo Dance. WTG! Many credits to you!

Greetings to QuilterInVA, RobinW, HisBeloved, MaryBlu, freer, goodnuff, and CoastalSue...and all other Beck followers out there!

Sending vibes for a great OP Tuesday to all!
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Old 08-19-2008, 08:44 AM   #127  
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Thumbs up The Start of Sunny Tuesday

Hello coaches

kuhljeanie Oh the shenpa... forgot all about that rascal! (hello to Euseubius[(I believe that was her name] How are you?) You are busy. I am happy to hear you are taking a break from your side business. Good. Moving and moving from a place you like to another place you're not so keen on is hard. We did that. It's always lots of work to move and to work full time on top of that...you are working all the time. And yep, you're in the middle. before you know it all your work will be done. Hang in there chum

BillBlueEyes
Quote:
Hard for me to imagine that I would alter the amount of food I'm eating just because I'm not that hungry.
I agree it is hard to imagine altering the amount of food you're eating just cause you're not that hungry. This is incrdible for two reasons : 1) you're altering your food by eating less (why wouldn't you eat everything you're allowed automatically...? sheesh! and 2) you're not that hungry. Wow. many many years were spent in my life doing just this, eating too much cause I could and never stopping no matter how full. These are major shifts. Big Kudos to you.

Methinks "thinking like a thin person" would include this act. I have been amazed to find myself actually hungry at meals. Imagine. Getting a message from my body that goes "sproing!" in my brain, like a "hey take notice, you're hungry!". It's caught me off guard several times this past week. THAT was incredible to me. AND what was more, I then ate because it was also time for me to eat. Imagine. The two actually went together? Very very hopeful this is going to really work for me. So so grateful for getting this far.

shrinkin'
Quote:
With falling off the wagon over the weekend and work pressure, feel vulnerable today.
If you are feeling vulnerable today (or wiggly as I like to call it) then take special care of yourself. Slow down and make sure you tell yourself positive things. Make sure you know that the past is gone, and you do not have to be the way you were before. You can change and the changes you are making ARE WORKING. List them, mentally or better yet on paper. What really works for me is simple distraction. I get busy. If I dwell on stuff I can always find a negative if I look for it. I choose not to look. It's unfair to myself. I am not on a even keel and I am tipping toward negativity...that's not fair and not the time to re-assess my progress/my plan/whatever! My job is to be good and kind to myself. We are not perfect. That you recognized some things to do as in stop eating sooner is great! KUDOS! Next time, you'll do better. AND YOU ARE DOING GREAT. have a fantastic swim...btw is the splasher still around?

And so coaches
I woke up this morning and hopped on the scale to see... that I hadn't gained my weight back! Funny. I didn't do a thing to put weight on. Just felt like "it wasn't real"... need to go work on Believe It some more
Quote:
"… Instead of saying I wish I could eat this, and feeling sad, or It’s unfair that I can’t eat this, and feeling unhappy, you’ll automatically say, I’m so glad I’m not eating that. …" Beck, pg 24.
This quote from the Beck book that BillBlueEyes quoted for today got me thinking... I am not sure I have ever said that to myself. "I'm so glad I'm not eating that." I think I've said it more as a past tense "I'm so glad I didn't eat that," or future tense "I hope I won't eat that."Her sentence implies that in the moment of being faced with Food X that you will, in that moment, automatically have the thought that you are glad you are not eating it. Hmmmm. I have quite a ways to go. I don't think I've ever watched someone have something I wanted and feel that way but is she saying I won't even want it anymore? I think so. The desire will be gone. Well, maybe sometimes. I cannot imagine this to be the rule rather than the exception... as I said, lots of work to be done. Maybe the next time I am in a situation like that where I have to refuse the food I could practice this thought. Make myself say it to myself. I'll see if I can remember to do that.

Today is a "day off", meaning I am not going anywhere to do work but will work a bit at home. The ceramic room floor at the school is dirty no doubt, and I could unload and reload the kiln, but I don't think I am going there this morning. I have two really really late orders to complete and it's movie day. DH and I both really look forward to cheap movie day. And since it's summer I can get away with my $4.20 admission and a $2.60 coffee as the coffee kiosk is open before 6pm during the summer months. So... need not be tempted by popcorn as I feel equally decadent about having a coffee with me in the theatre...still a novelty to me. Actually, as DH enjoys his popcorn and possibly his hotdog I will practice saying " I’m so glad I’m not eating that." and see what happens. I'll especially do this if I end up wanting his food. I hope the movie is good and I don't even care about food!

Everyone enjoy this Tuesday in mid-August!

Hello to all those reading and not posting.... hope you're well and good!

And sorry for the enormous posts I am doing of late. Thanks for getting this far.

Last edited by onebyone; 08-19-2008 at 08:45 AM.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:14 AM   #128  
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Default few more comments

Thanks, onebyone, for your note. I am taking some credit for getting to pool and getting lunch in advance at the grocery store. Yup, got those berries and cherry tomatoes and turkey stored in my office frig so I can be OP today. Splasher appears to swim in the evenings, so going in the morning has an added bonus. The morning crowd are all pretty good athletes. Makes it more intimidating [credit for getting over that], but nicer at the same time.

BBE...forgot to ask this am...Do you really dream of white beans? Never heard anyone say that. Maybe you really are different from your Beck experience! If I ever get to saying that, you will know I have made it! LOL!
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Old 08-19-2008, 07:55 PM   #129  
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Hello Coaches!

I'm still here lurking, but it's just that school is starting and my world has turned upside down!

I had a few loose days this past weekend but I'm back on plan for the second day. I am really appreciating all of your vulnerable thoughts onebyone and I am loving all of the great responses.

I'm off to go back into the whirlwind, but just wanted to check in.

You guys are the greatest!
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Old 08-20-2008, 06:06 AM   #130  
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Thumbs up Wednesday

Diet Coaches An over scheduled day meant that I would have to take an hour off work to get home in time to get in a walk as well as pick up some take-out, but I did. CREDIT moi. Picked up burritos from our favorite place where they taste so much better because the young staff continuously jabbers in rapid-fire Spanish. For years I got the large, with beef; now, I get the regular, with grilled veggies. That's what I want. Kinda nice. CREDIT moi.

onebyone Big Kudos for being hungry at mealtime, for then eating, and for noting that the two go together. It does seem odd that we are re-learning this as grown ups, but just amazing that we are learning it. Thanks for your comments about the quote from Beck - it made me think about it. I'll look to see if I get the thought: "I'm glad I'm not eating that," whether automatically or not. Neat that your are regular with your "cheap movie day" date with your DH.

shrinkin - Kudos for so carefully observing your eating: work stress -> eating late -> eating fast -> eating more. It has been new to me to observe my eating as if it were something that I was responsible for. LOL at your: "dream about white beans?" DW loves to make dreamy white beans because they're so easy: canned white beans, LOTS of garlic, some olive oil, heated with rosemary and sage. The baked beans I remember from childhood as sooooo good were loaded with molasses. Really liking that I'm drifting away from recipes that contain a lot of sugars.

freer - Kudos for "back on plan." Gotta believe that getting back on plan is about the greatest skill to have.

Readers " Instead At some point, youll shift from, I hate depriving myself, to Im happy I didnt overeat!. " Beck, pg 24.
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Old 08-20-2008, 08:03 AM   #131  
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Default Wednesday report

Coaches: Right at the high end of calories yesterday. because I had after dinner unplanned eating. Lemon cookies. Stopped after two with still more in the house.

We have been overrun with "goodies" in the past week as thank you gifts from Lake House guests. I had thrown out/given away all (including a chocolate pecan pie, caramels, fudge, and candy), except the lemon cookies and the Baklava which DH wanted to keep. Last pm, became adamant with DH that they are going out today...either to work or to the trash. Although I gave in some, I still deserve credit for moving all of that out of my life (said reluctantly). The rest goes today, one way or another. "Better to waste food in the trash than waste it on your body."

Big credit to me for taking time to go to store and good healthy eating alternatives yesterday. Even indulged in some prepared fruit and veggies in order to have something OP for lunch yesterday.

Did 45 min in the pool which is about 5 more than my "standard". Dilemma about am versus pm water activity. In past, going to pool after dinner put a crimp on eating after dinner. Going in the am assures that I go and enjoy it more, but leaves evenings to food troll. Must develop another strategy for food trolling prevention.

BBE-Kudos for sorting out the priority to put your health in front of other activities. Reminds me of the "Creating time and Energy" day earlier in Beck. Now that I have identified the problem pattern, I have to sort out strategies to deal with my work pressure. Also sounds like a "creating time and energy" challenge. Still not able to picture drooling over white beans.

freer-Keep withstanding the whirlwind! WTG for your second day OP!

onebyone-Enjoy your "day off" and movie date. Looking forward to your report of " Im so glad Im not eating that" trial.

Great Wednesday to all!
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Old 08-20-2008, 08:53 AM   #132  
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Default Wednesday Quick Hello

I'm off to the school and I slept in so just a quick wave hello to everyone. I'm posting to say "I am choosing to be OP today" and will be back later to properly send you coaches a real note.

Ciao for now!
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Old 08-20-2008, 09:19 AM   #133  
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good morning my coaches,

experiencing some significant stress in managing how i support DH during an extremely difficult and painful time for him. i absolutely have to take care of myself too - the move has been tough on me as well, and i've got a much longer commute now. still have a whole house to pack up and find a place for all that STUFF. and i'm really worried about DH - he need a lot of support these days, and it's hard finding a balance. oh yeah, the kid needs me too. we thought it was the move stressing him out, which it could have been, but maybe it was the new tooth that showed up two days after the move. probably both... and my first "real" wedding cake order for a bride i didn't know until she became my customer, to be delivered sunday morning. feeling some pressure on that front too, although i'm about 80% confident i can turn out a cake worthy of being the most beautiful dessert someone serves in her life. aargh.

i was so grateful to get on the treadmill yesterday, meant to stay at a walk but felt good so i broke into a run until the sciatica kicked in. was really hurting last night. starting to feel a little panic - what do i do to manage my stress without exercise now? i can feel the little niggling desire for crappy food as a replacement. i won't go there, but am struggling with stress management with an injury. will try walking again with a firm NO CHOICE to run. how insanely ironic is that?

without the bandwidth for meal planning, shopping, or cooking, i'm going to borrow maryblu's approach to eat what i want (or what is readily available) and make a point of stopping before i get full. this seems like the most reasonable way to handle my current situation without falling too far.

coaches, does that sound right? i'm running out of ideas, and i don't foresee things dramatically improving overnight. i may have to make peace with the fact that for the time being, not overeating and walking may have to be good enough.

Last edited by kuhljeanie; 08-20-2008 at 09:56 AM.
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Old 08-20-2008, 10:44 AM   #134  
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I havent been doing very good with checking in with my coaches I understand when I do, I do better. I understand when I read my cards daily, I do better.

I will do better.
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Old 08-20-2008, 03:56 PM   #135  
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kuhljeanie-feeling your pain, literally as I, too, am time stressed at moment. Perhaps you can strive just to maintain (rather than lose) by choosing food well when you can and limiting portions always. Forgiving self when not perfect. Stressing out over not dieting and less exercise may just make things worse. Strive for reasonableness not perfection.

I also understand the desire to keep exercising. Problem is exacerbated by the fact that it may not hurt DURING the exercise, only AFTER the exercise. Try to convince yourself that the quickest path back to running, is to NOT RUN for a while. With my elbow tendonitis, I am supposed to limit my arm motion....but it is hard to get my heart rate up. So, I have overdone it many times and now my elbows are still a problem. Had I restricted more effectively, I would probably be over it by now. I have learned the hard way that you may have to cut back in order to move forward. Hang in there. You will get better.

RobinW-Kudos for coming back and for noticing what makes you successful! Good to hear from you!!

Onebyone-Counting on hearing more from you...later!

Back to the grind!
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