3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - Don't lose any more weight!!!

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3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/)

- LA Weight Loss (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/la-weight-loss-171/)

- - Don't lose any more weight!!! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/la-weight-loss/140384-dont-lose-any-more-weight.html)

Redeemed

04-21-2008 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broadabroad (Post 2161159)

Man, that must be frustrating! I agree with the suggestion that people have a mental image of you, and that maybe if they're feeling thrown by the fact that REAL you is thinner than this mental image.

But I also think that for a lot of people, especially women (but not only women), there may be a lot of personal stuff there. I mean THEIR personal stuff. Like that they feel obscurely threatened by the fact that you're making such a change to your physical self - this can make people feel insecure about THEIR OWN appearance, or else it can simply make them worry that you, and their relationship with you, is changing. Like you're no longer the familiar you, and they're maybe having to change some of their perceptions/preconceptions/whatever about the dynamic between the two of you.

..er, or I could be talking crap, you know. But often this stuff is actually about the other person feeling threatened, rather than about them feeling concern/compassion.

(OTOH, if people have had experience with friends having eating disorders, it may be a reflexive thing - if they don't realise that you're becoming healthier, and doing it in a sensible and controlled way, they may just be conditioned to have the 'Oh crap!' response to seeing a loved one becoming thinner.)

Wow!! That was deep.... I'll have to ponder the points you brought up to see if there is any validity in them.

Redeemed

04-21-2008 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by readytobeme2007 (Post 2161202)

WOW can I relate.....

FUNNY...my husband (which our marriage is extremely estranged right now...long story) anyway actually called me last week, now come on ladies i'm only 6lbs down so far....to inform me that I was getting skinny and he liked a woman with something to hold

I'm thinking "OH YEA, ALL YOUR PREVIOUS WOMEN INCLUDING THOSE SINCE WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED...ARE A SIZE FREAKIN TWO YOU IDIOT"

so I guess he was complimenting me? or actually i'm not to sure.........

I'm not loosing weight to please him...not my motive so I didn't really care

AND OH HE IS THE ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS COMMENTS TO SAY ABOUT PEOPLE OVERWEIGHT.....

GO FIGURE THIS ONE.....GEEEESH

:mad::mad::mad::mad:

hmmmm... that sounds like he doesn't want you to get thin if you aren't with him. I could be wrong, but that's what I'm guessing. Men can be pretty insecure at times--- He may be wondering what is lighting up your life to inspire you to make those changes.

murphmitch

04-21-2008 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broadabroad (Post 2161159)

But I also think that for a lot of people, especially women (but not only women), there may be a lot of personal stuff there. I mean THEIR personal stuff. Like that they feel obscurely threatened by the fact that you're making such a change to your physical self - this can make people feel insecure about THEIR OWN appearance, or else it can simply make them worry that you, and their relationship with you, is changing. Like you're no longer the familiar you, and they're maybe having to change some of their perceptions/preconceptions/whatever about the dynamic between the two of you.

..er, or I could be talking crap, you know. But often this stuff is actually about the other person feeling threatened, rather than about them feeling concern/compassion.

I think that's very true for some people I know. I also think sometimes they're self-conscious about what they're eating at the time they make these comments. When I sit down in the lunchroom with my salad, fruit, yogurt, etc. and their eating a extra large tenderloin with fries and fudge-covered brownie for dessert, they feel the need to say something. I guess it makes them "squirm" a little to sit next to me and my lunch. I would never comment on what someone else is eating or how much they weigh, but they seem to feel the need to comment on mine.

sumu1

04-24-2008 08:46 AM

I never thought it would be so annoying to hear that I was getting too thin:-). I'm 152 at 5'5". I'm still technically considered overweight. The fact that I'm a size 8 is wonderful and I appreciate it , the fact is my goal is dead center of a healthy range, 135. Granted by then, hopefully, I'll be a nice solid size 6. It's weird when people say "oh my, your disapperaring!". Some day soon I'll be 135 and hopefully I'll "stop" disappearing and this will be who I am:-). Happy "disappearing" everyone.

ddc	04-24-2008 09:33 AM

I think it boils down to : most people don't think before they speak.
They just blurt something out without thinking of how it may make you feel.

My first child was 10 weeks premature. When I announced at my work that I was pregnant with my second child, 2 different people said "oh, how long are you gonna stay pregnant this time?". I don't think they meant any harm in saying that. I just think they were stupid and couldn't think of anything better to say -LOL!!

So, moral of the story. Some people are just stupid and say stupid things :)

Matilda08

04-25-2008 08:47 AM

I hate to say it but some people dont want you to be happy! Also they don't want you to be thin because they get jealous. Strange isnt it????? Thats just the world we live in. Don't worry about others do what makes you happy because you can't please the world so dont even try! Stick to your plan and dont dare let others get you down You are doing a wonderful job! Keep up the good work....

denialisnthappiness

04-25-2008 09:12 AM

Ah I had something similar this morning in the toilets a colleague came up to me and asked if I'd 'stopped losing weight now'.. to which I was all 'no way! etc etc'. She just kind of looked aghast and went 'noooo'. I honestly think she meant it as a compliment but I find it hard to take. In my mind I'm still a bloater. That and I KNOW I'm still overweight with lbs to go ... dunno it's just weird I guess

Redeemed

04-26-2008 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddc (Post 2166245)

:( Oh my goodness--- I think I would have flipped. You may be right, because that person did not think before they said that to you. I can't believe you know 2 people that would say something so thoughtless. I'm sorry for your loss.

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