Julie - thanks so much for sharing your story. Mothers instincts are mostly right and even if its not, better to be safe than sorry. Well now i have some symptoms to look for and if anything seems off its best just to go to the docs.
Nicole - OMG i'm so sorry that your family has to go thru all that. I would be freaking out also. I really hope they are not planning anything sneaky. That is weird that they registered for everything for the baby and your DD name is not even on the registry. When his dad comes over to talk definitely ask him what the plan is on their part. I cant believe that the baby is not even born yet and they are already acting sneaky. Its going to be so hard for your DD if they continue to behave this way. I understand that her ex is still young but his darn parents should have thought him the consequences of his actions and he should man up. He really is being an a$$. I hope your DD realizes that he's being no good to her but i know in situations like these you always hope that everyones heart is in the right place so it may take her some time. I cant imagine how hard it is for you to see your little girl go thru all this & how much harder it must be for her.
Nicole... I think the quickest way to at least get an idea as to what's going on is to directly ask him why it was set up that way... Then, at least, you'll be prepared... Frankly, I'd tell him it would be better to get regular checks than a bunch of baby stuff you're not going to need...
I suspect, playing devil's advocate here, that the ex's parents just want to be prepared incase they need to babysit.. That said, I'd still approach it cautiously..
Your DD has to be strong.. This jerk has proven he can't be trusted to do the right thing when the chips are down.. Yes, his initial reaction to the pregnancy might be chalked up to his immaturity and the shock of the news, but IF he truly cared, he wouldn't have gone and gotten a new girlfriend so quickly. Instead, he would have realized his mistake and begged your DD to take him back so he could play a role.
I'm a guy, so I can give you his perspective.. Or at least something like it.. He's realized that at somepoint, this is going to come back and bite him financially, so he's trying to put a good face forward and make it seem like he really wants to be involved.. That way, when it goes to court, he and his parents can say that he did everything he could do to be involved... Believe me, I've seen this before with a similar situation between an ex-friend and his girlfriend.. He's an ex-friend because of the way he handled the situation..
I'm not saying this is what's happening, but it sounds oddly familiar to me...
You gotta talk to him and find out his intentions with the other registry.. that way you can hold his feet to the fire...
Nicole, That sounds suspicious to me too. Legally he has every right your daughter does to custody of that child after it is born, so you are right to worry about what the other family is thinking and planning. It could be nothing more than wanting every other weekend with the baby. Although logistically if a baby is being breast fed, well that is just not going to work all that well right away.. Some things fathers just can not do as well as mothers! It is hard to figure out what is best, since it is in the child's best intersts to have a father and a father's family that cares for them.
I decided to put off starting TO for a day or two... I just didn't sleep well at all last night and a night short of sleep and then little food and having a super busy time at work (it was work stress keeping me from sleeping at night) well I didn't feel that I could deal with it all today...
thanks guys I knew you would come through for me. And Dan........thanks for your male opinion. My DH feels the same way as you......and I trust him with everything....but being a dad can make things not so clear sometimes.....so it is good to hear the same things come from you.
I think I am going to visit an attorney this afternoon..........just to find out what our best course of action is. I agree with you Barbara........it IS in the best interest of the child to have her father and his family in her life. I just want to make sure she is safe. They lean towards the racist side....they have both been addicted to presciption pain killers.......the dad has a gambling problem.....just last month, they seperated and she claimed he was abusive to the kids and he could not even go into his own home until their court date. Apparently she was going to file for divorce, but suddenly they are back together. The dad wants his son to take responsibility, the mom wanted to him try to get DD to give the baby up for adoption to get her boy out of trouble. The mom has stolen large amounts of money from the little leauge park.......I could go on..... It's not like we are perfect, but I can tell you that we are law abiding citizens who don't use drugs and have a good marraige based on mutual respect. We have never had to call the police on each other. We make an honest living. I stopped letting DD go to their house around Christmastime, cuz that is when his mother called her vulgar names and such. I don't even want my almost grown daughter there, let alone an innocent impressionable baby. Yeah, I just talked myself into it, I am giong to go see an attorney in a bit. I saw an office very close to my house a couple of weeks ago that specialize in family law, and it said they welcome walk ins for legal advice. I started reading the Inform Parentage Act on the web, and it has a lot of info, but I really need to see how Missouri courts deal with these issues. I also need to find out if guardianship is the right answer for DD, her baby, and us. I am trying to not take over while taking care. This is so tough for we mama's.
Nicole- Wow, yeah, the whole thing is really odd. I think that finding out what her rights are is a really good idea. Also, I would be talking to her now and formulating a clear plan as to what is going to happen when she goes into labor. Does she want him to be there? Does she want to wait until after the baby is born to let him know? Get it all figured out now and make sure everyone know what the protocal is. The last thing she or you will need is drama at the hospital. Or unwanted visitors upsetting her.
It's been a pretty good day here, no complaints! My younger brother won the mock-presidential election at school which was amazing... he was one of four and definitely the only conservative! He still cleaned up though! Of course it helped that the Veterans For Education were there to vote for him!
Nicole- I don't know what to say but to pray about it. I can't begin to understand. It definitely sounds a little fishy, so I'd straight out ask him like Dan said.
Tuesday- I am a carb junkie as well. We are very alike!
Kaite- How's the new little guy working out? Adjusting well?
BarbaraB- I understand the TO feeling... to me it's one of those things I definitely have to mentally prepare myself for. I think it's a form of torture!
About the bacterial meningitis... there is a vacine for that now, I am sure you guys know. It's one of the shots required before entering college. I know the bacterial is the string that is passed frequently around in schools. When I was in high school a former student contracted it and died at college, and then when I was at University of Delaware, a cafeteria worker anda student died from it.
It's so scary! Who goes to the doctor with flu symptoms?? Well, the majority of us don't!
It's a sunny WARM WARM day here in Jersey, so I am going for a walk. I really need to map out my finals and projects, etc. due but a 30 minute walk won't hurt.
whew..........I am feeling a bit better now. I went to see a local attorney, actually his paralegal, and he basically told me that in the state of Missouri, unless mom and dad are married.....with all other things equal......the babies stay with their mamas. He said we are a bit behind on dad's rights here. I have to say, I am so glad, but cannot imagine how I'd feel if it were my son expecting a baby. The whole darn thing makes me pretty sad. Why don't people just do the right thing? You sleep so much better at night.
I did make an appointment for DD, DH and I to go see the attorney next Wednesday. They can do all the paperwork ahead of time, and then file for gaurdianship as soon as the baby gets her SSN. He assured me that my DD will still have all of her parental rights, and that noone will even know that we have gaurdianship unless we tell them. This is good......cuz the main reason we want to do this is so the baby can get good health insurance coverage through DH's work policy. So, it seems like I have less to worry about than I thought. DD is all for gaudianship. She knows she doesn't have the financial means to care for the baby..and she could apply for aid if she had to, but isn't family supposed to take care of each other if it is possible? It seems like this is the smartest way for her to be the baby's mom while growing into her role. So, that is the dealo so far. Do you think I am nuts?
Still no word on if DB's dad is comming here tonight or not, but I guess I better vacuum, just in case
I typed a post this morning and hit post reply, but I cannot find it, so I'm trying again! I had a really great day yesterday, trying for another today. So far, so good!
Shelly - Welcome and best of luck with your weight loss!
Debbie24 - The water is such a struggle for me. The coffee thing too. When I got back on plan last week, I realized that pretty much the only thing I was drinking all day, was coffee. Hence, the struggle with switching to decaf. I tried to get my waters in earlier today. I drank them all late yesterday and then I had to get up 3 times last night to go to the bathroom.
Dan - Thanks for posting the link to that website. It was very informational. I looked up Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts, my two favorites, and even their lite beverages aren't all that light. The lite hot latte at DD has over 1,000mg of sodium in it. I never ever thought about sodium content in beverages before. Thanks for sharing!
I hope everyone had a good day! Have a nice evening!
Nicole, I think it is a loving and reasonable thing to become the guardians of your young daughter's child. Hopefully your DD will continue to mature and will grow into being a great mother herself, with your great example, I'm sure she will do OK, but only needs a time of great support from you and your family. At least the DBF family is stepping up at least a little bit to acknowledge the new addition to their family. Much, much better than having the other grandparents down the street and not willing to admit that it is their grand daughter. They are showing some concern, even if it is coming out in a weird way with the shower. Even with the smallest amount of visitation, they will need a few things themselves to deal with a baby. After all, do you want to drag every thing that baby needs from house to house every week? Really two high chairs make sense in that case.
Gonnabe - I'm not sure if you posted but whats your name? I never drank water before i started LAWL, i mean never and i just sucked it up and did and i've been doing pretty good getting 8 glasses in. I have to have my water super cold or i cant drink it, so lots of ice and i'm good. Its hard but its one of the things that will help you lose the weight the most. You should try for a week and get all your water in and then see what the results are like. Maybe if they are good you will see the pros in drinking the water and it will just motivate you. Cant hurt to try
Morning everyone! It is spring break for some of my daycare kids today, and my own kids were so sad that they would not get to play with their friends today that I let them stay home from school too, plus my 3 y/o niece slept over last night, so I have 16 kids today. Luckily, most of them are older and are playing out back. In fact, I put the boys to work fixing a hole in the fence that the dogs snuck through yesterday. I am going to let the girls make cookies for snack later. Crazy days!
oh, Katie.....you are nuts!!! You remind me so much of me 7 or 8 years ago. I had everyone's kids all the time, plus mine and the daycare kids. It was fun, but I don't know if I could do it again.........my hat's off to you!!!
Good morning everyone Here's to a POP day. You know, I just want to be comfortable in my own skin.........and I know this is the only way to do it. Stay strong everyone
XOXO
You remind me so much of me 7 or 8 years ago. I had everyone's kids all the time, plus mine and the daycare kids. It was fun, but I don't know if I could do it again.........my hat's off to you!!!