It is important to recognize that thoughts are just ideas, not necessarily truths. Your thoughts about anything might be completely true, partially true, or completely false. For example, if you haven’t eaten all day and pass by people eating pizza, you might think,
That looks so good … I’m so hungry,
which might well be true. In fact, this thought isn’t necessarily a problem. The problematic one comes next. The thought,
I have to have some,
is not true. But if you’re like most people, you probably accept this last thought as true, without really thinking about it - at least at that moment.
Nine Common Thinking Mistakes people make when dieting:
Once I can readily see the mistakes in my thinking, dieting will be easier.
My sabotaging thoughts from Program-day 25 [Mistake Numbers]:
• I should eat this because it’s FREE. [#8 Justification]
• I should clean my plate at home because of the starving children in China. [#7 Rules]
• I should clean my plate at a restaurant. [#7 Rules]
• I should have some of every item at a buffet. [#8 Justification]
• I need a candy bar at work because of the tight deadline. [#8 Justification]
• When a vending machine accidently gives me two items, I eat both. [#8 Justification]
• I should finish food left on the kids plates. [#7 Rules]
• I should eat the partial serving remaining in a container. [#7 Rules]
• I should eat this because it smells really good. [#8 Justification]
• I should eat this because I’ve never had it before. [#8 Justification]
• No one knows me here. [#6 Self-deluding]
• I’ll just eat these crumbs. [#6 Self-deluding]
Wow, I seen to specialize in three of the Thinking Mistakes:
6 of [#8 Justification]
4 of [#7 Rules]
2 of [#6 Self-deluding]
Bummed out that it's raining, the pre-winter touch up painting isn't dry yet
Just accepted an invitation to a Christmas party that is notorious for abundance of REALLY high quality food. I'm glad I'm going. But right now, I have visions in my head of the HUGE amount of food available. I have about two weeks to convert that into a plan to eat a reasonable volume of QUALITY food. Why is my brain immediately drawn to VOLUME instead of QUALITY? Calling to my thin brain, where are you?
Sue - Seems like you've put together a plan for the food that's not on your plan. Good step. With the situations named and responses planned, I hope the execution becomes easier for you as you exercise it. That seems to be the Beck promise.
Can't think of a good suggestion when you are daily in the presence of a long session of peanut eating. I can see how that's a tough one for you. Perhaps you can conjure up an image of peanuts travelling from your mouth to their permanent place on your thighs. I'll give it some more thought.
Bethany - Waving.
Readers - If you have a Sabotaging Thought, may you find it helpful to see the common thinking error that is contributing to it.
BillBlueEyes-wanted to get a short note in as a rather busy day and evening-It really hit home about the mistaking thinking reason. Really what the heck are we thinking if we eat beyond feeling full and eating foods we know are not healthy. Off we go on misguided logic.
I really like being hungry therefore justified eating any thing in sight versus being hungry and eating appropriated- Even if it means more work-This now means Skip the Ice cream cone at store and instead I need to going home to make a salad. One of my favorite myths is shattered. I have loved to combined justification with some self deluding thinking,
For a number reasons I am finally getting what goes on in my head may seem like reality- but it just a series of passing thoughts, feeling and sensation which will be real to me if I ruminate long enought on them-If i repeat the concepts enough that it should be true-I really deserve this treat, i know they were criticizing them, i am justified to be angry at someone. From Buddhism to beck dieting the same message-I have alot of thinking mistakes which adversly affects my actions. Thanks for the posting-
Another mistaked logic-sometimes I want the promise of magical thinking versus all this mindfulness needed to change. I have been looking at some tough emotions which I have kept contained with over stuffing. Rats this being a grown up in my 60's can be alot of work.
You now have a list of sabotaging thoughts and thinking mistakes. Today, you’ll create additional Response Cards to help you more effectively respond to these thoughts.
The Seven Question Technique
1. What kind of thinking error could I be making?
2. What evidence is there that this thought might not be true (or be completely true)?
3. Is there an alternative explanation or another way of viewing this?
4. What is the most realistic outcome of this situation
5. What is the effect of my believing this thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?
6. What would I tell [a close friend or family member] if he/she were in this situation and had this thought?
7. What should I do now?
Over time, as you practice these ideas again and again, you’ll automatically respond to your sabotaging thoughts, even without Response Cards.
Example exercise using one of my sabotaging thoughts from above: • I should eat this because it’s FREE.
1. Thinking error? #8 Justification
2. Counter evidence? I’m not destitute; it doesn’t affect my finances to scoff free food.
3. Alternative explanation? It feeds my child-like good feeling for beating the system.
4. Most realistic outcome? I’ll feel good for beating the system for a few minutes, then feel bad for a day or so for being so stupid, then feel discouraged that I didn't stick to my eating plan.
5. Effect of believing/changing my thinking? If I eat, I’ll feel like a doofus for acting like a child of the depression. If I resist, I’ll feel like a grownup in charge of my life.
6. Tell a friend? You’re waddling in your old thinking. You can make a current choice.
7. Do now? Recall my Advantages Card, laugh at the persistence of my childhood thinking, NO CHOICE the FREE food, credit myself in my journal, and brag on 3FC.
Response Card: Eating FREE food gave me beat-the-system joy as a child. My adult joy is making the system work. I’m a doofus when I forget the difference.
WOW, working the seven questions exercise surprised me. I'd never named the child-like beat-the-system joy before. I can even feel the smug feeling when I do it. No wonder my craving for FREE food was so strong. It always felt so good I kinda hate to let it go. Oh, Well.
In my journal I'll try the exercise on my other thoughts.
Plan to get a good walk today - I've been walking less, for the standard reasons everybody has. But I have some time scheduled today. It's a crisp day - a good motivating day for walking briskly.
Sue - That's the title for your autobiography: From Buddhism to Beck. Love it. I'll buy the first copy.
Be sure to have a chapter on combining Justification with Self-Deluding Thinking. I can use some insight there.
Yep, being a grown up can be a lot of work. But, I have little desire to be a teenager ever again. Maybe a ten year old, with few responsibilities and boundless joy at discovering the world.
Readers - So many sabotaging thoughts, so little time. Have a mindful day.
Hello
I have purchased the Beck Diet Solution book and work book. I did so because reading the posts here got me interested. I thank you all for your posts.
Bill, I thought that was amazing you could take food off your plate and put it in the fridge for the next day....yeah. Give yourself Credit, that is an awesome accomplishment.
Thanks for reminding readers to have a mindful day. It is with this awareness that we begin to truly live life, rather than exist in it.
Ann
Glad to have your posting Ann-This is both a powerful and at times a hard program for me to change my ingrained eating habits. Being mindful or our eating and our practice of unhealthy eating justification is so critical to get to and remain at goal weight. For me it has been a slow processes but successful in that I have not regrained the lost weight which is very common pattern for me. Any Way Welcome
BillBlueEyes another great posting. I found your acknowledging of child's response to free food reminded of often when I break down and eat non planned for foods, I feel like a bratty little girl stumping her feet and going to show those "food expects" what they can do with their rules and advice. I have the kid response of cutting my own nose to spite myself. I actually react that way to the Oh Well idea. I do better with praising myself for being mindful and not doing an auto response of eating. I think OH Well in my early years was a statement used by my folks to dismissed my needs-oh well that just isn't going to happen, Oh Well what did you expect?
Went to house warming party and I did very well. Brought diet sodas- the only nonalcohol drinks at the place-ate one bite of sushi-(homemade and delicious) stopped and forgo all the rest of the treats. Dh has been so supportive about cutting back having food and drink all evening. It has made it easier if we are watching a movie together. Able to follow the diet without feeling deprived and contineously fighting overeating. Still able to always leave a bit of food on plate which I don"t eat. Today DH even left some of his breakfast because he has been watching me-He realized he was no longer hungry and did not need to clean his plate.
The seven techniques are a great way to slow down and start looking at desire and cravings-I can get into a dialogue with myself and forget about the craving-plus it more like a intellectual curosity versus a white knuckle way of No-bad girl don't eat that.
You are so focused and disciplined remaining on task of going thur the book-Thanks it really help me alot.
Enjoy you walks-it has been so cold and very foggy so I been dogging the pool but will get back soon. They promise some sun soon.
sue
Don’t even think about trying to skimp on food today in order to have a more satisfying outcome tomorrow. You need to squarely face whatever number you see on the scale. And eating too little today might set you up for going overboard in the following day or two.
[Omitted Scenario #1 You lost what you consider to be a lot of weight, and Scenario #2 too little.]
Scenario #3: You don’t lose weight or you gain weight.
Sabotaging Thought: I can’t believe this! See, I just can’t lose weight.
Helpful Response: My weight might be up temporarily for hormonal or other reasons. If my weight doesn’t go down next week, I’ll call my coach to see if she can meet me to go over my food plans. Maybe I made some mistakes. Maybe I need to decrease my caloric intake or exercise more. I just need to stay problem solving-oriented.
Once I learn to use the scale as information to guide my efforts, dieting will be easier.
For me, the big thoughts are:
use the scale as information to guide my efforts, and
stay problem solving-oriented.
My maintenance weight tends to fluctuate within a 5 pound band. Sometimes I believe I know the reason, like this summer when I hit the top of my weight band after a week of travel, reduced exercise, and eating out, or last week when I hit the bottom of my weight band after a few days of particularly frugal eating. But weight is just a measurement on a scale; it’s not me. There is no benefit to me to indulge in feelings about the number. There is great benefit to reviewing my week and thinking of ways to respond to my off-plan actions.
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Completed Beck Program-day 28. 14 to go. Keep going!
Staying about on plan with eating and exercise. Yesterday included some raking of leaves, not for the last time, but got a goodly bunch in barrels to the curb for pick up. In the past few years there has been little snow, which has reduced the standard fear of having the leaves covered with snow until spring. But early snow is always possible, so gotta keep ahead of these leaves.
Will try to get to the supermarket early this morning to get food for my lunches next week. Around here the days before Thanksgiving are mayhem in the stores. Have to wonder where the extra people come from, since I'd have thought that most people also eat during the weeks without Thanksgiving. Oh, Well.
Ann - Welcome aboard, with your new Beck book, Beck workbook, and handy napkin to toss over off-plan food at a restaurant.
Thanks for your kind words, and for this particularly moving thought that I'll mull over all day:
It is with this awareness that we begin to truly live life, rather than exist in it.
Do let us know how you use both the book and the workbook, since some people ponder getting one or both.
Sue - Congratulations for staying on plan at your house warming. Smart move to bring your own diet soda.
It's amazing that you left food on your plate and that it's contagious - your DH caught it and left food on his plate, too. That's great. Would you mind dropping by my house and eating a few meals? I could use catching whatever it is that you've got to leave food on your plate.
Too bad that Oh, Well is burned out for you. Can you think of a substitute that works?
Readers - When you weight yourself, may you merely see a number and remain fully in control to review the week to determine if changes would be helpful and what they might be.
Another cold and foggy day--my DH loves do do fine woodworking, so we are beginning a small craft business of doing bird houses and other "folk" wooden crafts. It has been so damp that some of the paints and oils are taking forever to dry. Getting excited to do the show which will start the Friday after Thanksgiving.
Our attitudes to what the scale show for today.
I weight myself as I do every day-I was up .4 of lb RATs
Really feel that I ate according to plan-yes there can be some water gain-it can be a mystery and I need to accept today's result and keep on program. Your word of "indulging" in your feeling about the scale' reading is an interesting choice. I find I need to acknowledge-feel the negative stuff, let it go /don't work at proving those feel are real and then focus on proactive beck solution. I have spend years indulging, ruminating and dramatizing negative feelings/attitudes about myself then using food to bury these feelings.
It is a balance for me to find the correct amount of cals in order to continuous and steadly lose weight-very obese yet unable to move alot so don't burn up alot of daily cals. A couple of month went to down to about 1300 cals and stopped losing- right now 1500-1600 seems to work.
Beck and her approach has really helped with the negative attitude of I am just weak, have no self discipline, I'll never lose. It can be a real battle to see what I actually weigh and feel like woman with any sense of attractiveness. One doc even said to me that my husband should leave me when I weighed over 200 lbs. There is some powerful prejudice toward the obese-Glad you are aware of some of your attitude BillBlueeyes and work at not projecting them. Heck, even when I see some one larger than me I can think at least I am "better" than them.
I do have a food question- I have been reading that some research shows that drinking diet soda can slow weight loss. That ones body can react to the artificial sugars like they are real sugars. I have gotten some of the sugar/fatfree fudgecicles. What has been your experience when you use splenda or other phony sugars?
Thanks for all the posting and support
sue
Last edited by coastalsue; 11-18-2007 at 11:57 AM.
Hi Sue and Bill.
I am really enjoying your posts as they make me think, something I have not intentionally done in a while. I know I think but just on the surface. Reading your posts and now reading Beck, makes me want to think and question.
If you ask others who know me, they believe I am quite the thinker. This hasn't been the case for a long time as I have adopted the OH well attitude, no matter what happens, oh well, it is the safe route. It doesn't involve emotions or feelings. I am really enjoying the workbook, in the workbook Judith Beck mentions it is best to have both but not essential to read the book. You will still benefit from the workbook. I find the workbook refreshing, when I am reading the book to be honest, I think blah, blah, blah. I really like when you post stuff on this site. It makes it seem real to me. I have always been like this, I prefer the Coles notes. The workbook has great ideas. I liked that she mentioned have two diet plans. I am at the point that I have become complacent doing ww so now I will try Calorie counting. I am just so excited about this book, some things are difficult but with practice I am sure I can master. For example, only eating when sitting down. Wow, I never realized I sometimes do stuff and get up with a mouthful of food and then just go back and get food back from my plate. Yesterday and Today I sat to eat. It made a difference.
Sorry didn't mean to write a book for you.
Sue , I know many people who eat/drink things with phony sugar and they have not had problems, while others have had problems. I truly think it depends on the person. I think some of the maintainers were talking about this on one of the 3fC's sites. I will try to find it. Here it is. http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126117
Have a great night.
Ann
Last edited by Newlifestyle; 11-18-2007 at 08:31 PM.
Many of the dieters I’ve counseled have told me they “had to eat” to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, even though they knew it meant straying from their diet.
• You’re entitled to work toward your goal of losing weight as long as you’re not maliciously trying to make someone feel bad.
• It’s OK to disappoint others. Disappointment is a normal part of life. Their disappointment will most likely be mild and fleeting.
Prepare your initial response: What will you say the next time someone offers you food? Write down what you plan to say in your notebook or on a Response Card. For many people, “No, thanks,” or “No, thank you, it looks delicious, but I’m fine,” will probably suffice. You don’t have to explain that you’re on a diet or watching what you’re eating if you don’t want to. If it’s appropriate and if you want, you can always say, “Thank you, it looks really good. Could I take a little piece home for later?”
I have often assumed (Thinking Mistake #5: Mind Reading ) that people will be REALLY offended ( Thinking Mistake #9: Exaggerated Thinking ) when I refuse in a group situation, when, in practice, offense just hasn’t happened. I assume that people will notice if I don’t take a piece of a celebration cake at a company function. However, if I have something in my hand so that I don’t look like I need to be taken care of, people don’t notice.
Thank you Dr. Beck for reminding me that I don’t need to offer a convincing, “I follow a healthy life style,” argument, particularly since saying that implies that all who are eating the cake are mindless idiots for doing so.
I also don’t even need to convince them I’m not hungry or that I will eat later. It’s a bit TMI to publically debate the state of my digestive track. “No, thanks,” suffices.
Response Card: My eating is not the focus of other’s concern. I AM NOT THE CENTER OF EVERYONE’S UNIVERFSE.
Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.
Brisk and sunny for my walk yesterday, couldn't be better. I like the contradiction of perspiring when I'm wearing gloves to keep the fingers from freezing.
The grocery store was jammed with people buying like it was the end of the world. The mango's looked good, so got one. Sugar snaps are expensive this time of year (imported from who knows where) but I buy them anyway to pack with the lunch I take to work. Too many raw vegetables with my lunch at work is just the right amount for me.
My life doesn't have many serious food pushers - mostly social situations where I assume that people want me to eat.
Sue - Only 4 days till your craft fair; hope the paint is drying for you.
Interesting that you increased your calories to resume your weight loss. On other threads people have discussed similar experiences. Unintuitive to me.
Appreciate your thoughts about acknowledging the negative feelings as part of letting them go. Will think about that.
That doctor should lose his license to practice for saying that your husband should leave you when you weight more than 200 pounds. That's beyond awful.
Can't help you with the Splenda discussion (I see that Ann did), since I avoid added sugars, including substitute sugars, and avoid sweet type desserts. I tend to crave that sort when I'm eating it, so it works for me to just steer clear.
I've never been a user of diet sodas. I was really into a cranberry flavored sparking water for a while, but stopped that when I got tired of the extra trips to the bathroom - my holding capacity seems to have decreased. Oh, Well.
Ann - Interesting observations about the workbook. Might have to get it now even though I'm 29 days completed in the initial 42 day part. Maybe I'll get it for a refresher course when I've been done for a while and am looking for incentive to keep working the strategies. Sometimes it helps me to switch perspective just to refocus, sorta like you switching to calorie counting.
I hope you post your thoughts as you go through the earlier program-days. I know that I would benefit from reviewing that stuff, think others might also, even if seems to you that your thoughts are similar to some previously posted. The Beck style seems to be to pound, pound, pound until it gets into my head.
Readers - Be good to the person you'd like to still be with you this evening. That person can be yourself.
At the beginning of the workbook, Beck, writes about how the Beck Diet Solution Works.
Including, Picking a nutritious diet and a reasonable exercise program
plan and monitor what you eat, in writing,
use good eating habits so that you really notice and enjoy every bite
Solve Diet and exercise related problems
Transition to rest-of-your life eating and exercising.
It goes on to explain
how your thinking can lead you astray
Why eating can seem automatic, but isn't
Triggers and the Eating process
Dieter's thinking vs Thin thinking
Identifying thoughts
Chapter 2 is Get Ready to Begin the Program
It explains choosing a diet coach to help when you need to figure out solutions for your diet and exercise difficulties. You should have a diet coach and be accountable . Report your progress to them once a week.
Chosing your diet. - I found this extremely helpful to me as it says that health professionals recommend you eat between 1200-1600 calories. I don't know that I would have picked that many calories but am giving it a try.
Beck also wants you to chose two diet plans because when you get into trouble with one, such as boredom, you already have another one in place you can chose. If you don't have a back up, you may chose to stop dieting altogether.
In chapter 3, there is the questionnaire. very helpful to see patterns I think
Chapter 4 talks about how to motivate yourself.
I too like that she says, I'm entitled to do what I need to do to lose weight as long as I'm not maliciously doing something to make someone else feel bad.
Very powerful for me as I am always worried that I may offend someone.
As I go through I hi lite what I find I will need a refresher on.
Then Chapter 5 starts Week I
Create a foundation for Diet Success.
Day 1 Review the Advantages of dieting.
This is where I review the list I made of reasons for losing weight.
I like that she wants you to read your list at least once a day. I sometimes forget what I read two days ago, this way it keeps it fresh in my mind.
I needed the response card #1 that says, "Do It Anyway"
I will make up excuses why I shouldn't do something and when I look at that card, I think, okay I will just do it anyway.
I find this workbook makes so much sense to me.
I will post day 2 later and if any explanation is needed for anything I typed please let me know.
Bill and Sue, reading your posts have helped me so very much.
Thank you.
Have a wonderful day.
Ann
Last edited by Newlifestyle; 11-19-2007 at 08:28 AM.
Completed Beck Program-day 26: Recognize Thinking Mistakes
Rainy Friday
