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Old 11-10-2007, 08:43 PM   #31  
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happy weekend to all,

Welcome-surrealchereal-while I find Beck at time hard to do, the book has given me real hope and ideas to cope wiith all of my addictive food behaviors. I actually got the the book first then the workbook in Oct I like and use them both. Can't advise about returning the text or not.

Interesting ideas about the unfairness of dieting. I view my bad eating habits as an handicap-but a "curable" handicap with correct behaviors. It really is or is not fair-it just is and the only way for me to deal with it is to be continuously vlgilant. There is nothing magical out there for me, but continuous alertness and stopping those "automatic " responses-like eating food while fixing food, eating just for taste when not even hungry and thousands more unhealthy habits. I love that Beck does not include a sense of morality-i have felt bad, ugly, weak, lacking morals for being fat. It is just a mess of very poor coping skills which does not help with dealing with emotion and has had me very unhealthy. I really do not complete a lesson and then have that behavior cured-rather I will conquer one thing, do a new lesson, forget what I learned 2 weeks ago and have to go back again to an earlier lesson. One of the great things about posting as you can hear how someone else is coping with a lesson.

glad you are focusing on the gym-who knows about the protein push before and after-try it out for time period and see if works for you.

too bad we always want something for our money-One rare occassions I have actually just given a donation to avoid the cookies/candy/ugly wrapping paper of a fund raiser. also giving them to troops at work is a great idea.

We are leaving to hear County Joe McDonald sing Woodie Guthrie for a fund raiser. set in fatasy of a prohibition era speakeasy.

sue
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Old 11-11-2007, 05:50 AM   #32  
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Arrow Completed Beck Program-day 24: Deal with Discouragement

from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store) http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionad...216363-1799918
Quote:
For most people, losing weight starts off easy because their motivation and confidence are high. At some point it begins to get harder. Life intervenes in ways that makes sticking to your diet a real effort. Cravings become more intense. And some dieters begin to panic.

They have sabotaging thoughts, such as:
• It shouldn’t be this hard.
• I’ll never be able to keep this up.
• I don’t want to do this anymore.
You can vigorously respond to these sabotaging thoughts.
Forget the long term …
Focus on today …
I know I can continue to do what I need to do today …
If it’s hard tomorrow, I’ll deal with it then.
Beck’s suggestion to reread my Advantages Response Card works for me.

It helps me counter discouragement knowing that my plan doesn’t absolutely eliminate any food, e.g. I can tell myself that I continue to eat dark chocolate, just less.

Same for oatmeal raisin cookies. I still eat an occasional homemade oatmeal raisin cookie, I just avoid the half bag serving of mediocre commercial packages of them.


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Old 11-11-2007, 06:43 AM   #33  
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Thumbs up Preparing for Winter Sunday

Today's chores includes bringing the patio furniture into the basement. DW resists my insistence that it's too early to accept that winter is here.

I had a chance to work on my own fat prejudice last week. I was at an all day meeting where the largest person there snacked non stop the whole time. Initially I was really disgusted. Then I focused on why it annoyed me so, I had no stake in this person's diet, and it became clear to me that I was embarrassed because, in the past, that person would have been me. After seeing that, the person just became another participant in the meeting. Kinda striking, my disgust at them was just embarrassment at me.



Sue - Your phrase "continuously vigilant" will be my beckworm today.

If you come back and tell us which Woodie Guthrie songs you heard, some of us can wallow in our memories of the '60s. And others here can roll their eyes and wonder why people old enough to remember the '60s aren't just dead already and get on with it.

I too like that Beck steers us away from a moral response to our eating. When I feel judgmental about food, I shut down my ability to think of helpful responses.


Bethany - Sending positive thoughts your way.


surrealchereal - Found the quote about the Beck workbook in the September thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by GinaXOXO View Post
I haven’t gotten out my book since getting the workbook so I can’t compare. I can tell you that it has everything I need. The first 4 chapters were interesting in the book and aren’t included in the workbook. It starts with the work—first making the list of reasons and then off to day 1. An example of day 1 is a full page checklist of ways to review the advantages of dieting (make extra copies; put them on a greeting card for yourself, etc.). There are 10 parts to the checklist. Then it gives us today’s do list, which I think you have too. Without looking at my book I feel there are more checklists and less reading with the workbook—it is straight forward. There are daily planning charts and priority chart for scheduling the day and a journal after the diet starts . . . what I did to avoid unplanned eating, etc. and then at the back there are response cards already made, the most important one, do it anyway. Even if I don’t like using a diet skill, I have to do it anyway. If I do only what I feel like doing, I won’t be able to lose weight and keep it off. There are 24 cards. I will take a look at my book this weekend and get back to you. What I like about the workbook is that it is quick reading and hands on and everything is together.
Gina


Readers All - If you're feeling discouraged right now, may you find the path to Forget the long term and Focus on today.



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Old 11-11-2007, 07:26 AM   #34  
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Hello all

BillBlueEyes, I find when I go to a restaurant, I eat half of my meal and then I throw a napkin on my plate, this works for me. When I see the napkin on my plate I know that I planned to end my meal at that point. Some of my friends ask for half of their meal packed up right away, but I don't feel comfortable with that, it takes away from my meal I am planning to enjoy. This was a huge NSV for me as I was brought up not to waste food. By leaving half of my meal I have mastered this. It was so difficult at first becasue of all the starving children in Africa my mom told me about growing up. Now it feels good. When I am at an event I don't know people at, there are always comments about me having such good self control. They don't realize I use my napkin as a trigger to say no more food. I hope I explained this. I know it may not work for everyone but it does for me. I was a true mindless eater and would eat and wonder how my food disappeared so quickly.
Good luck on your journey.
Ann
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Old 11-11-2007, 10:59 AM   #35  
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Quote:
They don't realize I use my napkin as a trigger to say no more food.
I would just push the napkin aside when no one was looking and start nibbling again.
Thanks for your thoughts guys, I'm going to keep the book, I am a need to know kind of gal.
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Old 11-12-2007, 05:06 AM   #36  
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Arrow Completed Beck Program-day 25: Identify Sabotaging Thoughts

from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available on Amazon thru the 3FC Store) http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionad...216363-1799918
Quote:
Before you take the first bite of something you didn’t plan to eat, you almost always have a thought or a series of thoughts. Once you identify and respond to these thoughts, you’ll be better able to control your eating.

Common diet-related sabotaging thoughts: [selected from Beck’s list of 26]

• It’s OK to eat this.
• I’ll just eat these crumbs.
• I’ll make up for it later.
• It’ll go to waste if I don’t eat it.
• I should eat it because it’s free.
• It’s a special occasion.
• I’m treating myself.

Once I get good at identifying my sabotaging thoughts (so I can respond to them), dieting will be easier.

My sabotaging thoughts:

• I should eat this because it’s FREE. (Meaning coming from companies or strangers, not when coming from friends or relatives.)
• I should clean my plate at home because of the starving children in China.
• I should clean my plate at a restaurant. [Nb. Two ideas for Helpful Responses reported above by surrealchereal and Newlifestyle.]
• I should have some of every item at a buffet.
• I need a candy bar at work because of the tight deadline to get this job done.
• When a vending machine accidently gives me two items, it’s MANDATORY that I eat both.
• I should finish food left on the kids plates to avoid waste.
• I should eat the partial serving remaining in a container to smooth out the wrinkles in the universe.
• I should eat this because it smells really good.
• I should eat this because I’ve never had it before.
• No one knows me here.
• I’ll just eat these crumbs so they don’t go to waste, they’re just as good as the whole item. (LOL at crumbs, I’ve done that for food I wouldn’t eat in the whole.)
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Old 11-12-2007, 06:09 AM   #37  
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Thumbs up Vetrans Day Monday

It's a work day for me. I'm surrounded by a mixture of places operating on normal weekday schedule and holiday schedule. We won't get mail; trash is picked up. The gym is open on weekday schedule. The benefit of having to go to work is that I don't have to read the flyer's for the zillion sales going on today.

My eating was on plan yesterday, including a Korean dinner prepared by DS and his GF. The five dishes of condiments were not just tasty, they also provided strong flavors that helped to reach satisfaction without eating large quantities.

Was reminded that it's been years since we've had a shabu-shabu dinner - the Japanese hot pot where each person dips their food into a common bowl of heating broth in the middle of the table. As the dinner progresses, the broth evolves into a savory soup. Lots of eating time for a small amount of calories. The Volumetrics folks should be onto this.


surrealchereal - Thanks for the idea for handling restaurants:
Quote:
I have to grab the first wait staff that passes and just hand them my plate before I have a chance to lose my resolve.
Your technique neatly solves the problem by making the decision once and moving away from any further consideration.



Newlifestyle - Also thanks for the idea for handling restaurants:
Quote:
I find when I go to a restaurant, I eat half of my meal and then I throw a napkin on my plate, this works for me. When I see the napkin on my plate I know that I planned to end my meal at that point.
I like the idea of designing a personal trigger to signal that I've already made the decision to stop eating - it seems like a Beck kind of Helpful Response, like brushing my teeth to signal I'm done eating for this evening.

Laughing my self silly at the response from surrealchereal: "I would just push the napkin aside when no one was looking and start nibbling again."

Also laughing at your "starving children in Africa" since my starving children were in "China". Wonder if each area of the world or each generation has its own location for starving children. Perhaps some graduate student who can't think of a theses topic can choose this and let us know.


Sue - Hope you had nice weather for your guests. We had a sunny, cold Sunday - perfect day for going to look at the ducks migrating through on their way to some dependable winter food. Canada Geese are still honking overhead as they fly south.


Bethany - Sending good thoughts.


Readers, Beck graduates, Beck subway alumni - Hope that each of your unique Sabotaging Thoughts has a unique Helpful Response.


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Old 11-12-2007, 03:29 PM   #38  
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Hello all,

Great to have other folks posting-every idea is such a help in changing behaviors which are filled with sabotaging thoughts which "helps" us ignore a truly healthy respond to food.

I have never even thought of asking a waiter to remove my plate-but at home will put my dish in the sink to stop eating. Great idea-when out.

Well, I am the poster child for the sabotaging thought of GO ahead and eat it as it is a special occassion!!along with it is increditable delicious, I never make this, then add sugar and/or processed flour and I go down like an anchor into the sea of food. I get in a food stupor in which I can ignore all Beck Principals-The good news is that I am Back on program.

I had such a great time at the fund raiser-but ate and drank too much-
County Joe put on a great show focusing on the music of Woodie -very poignant. When he came back for an encore-he naturally did the "fixing to die rag". Still powerful.-just subsititue Iraq for Vietnam.

I look forward to the day when I can be remain viligant and still enjoy a celebration. this seems to the toughest situation for me. Again I am very glad that this did not turn into a "I can't diet" 6 month binge. My stupors only last 4-36 hrs versus for months. I think the Advantage card for losing weight is burned into my brain and my focus does return to how to lose the weight. At least I have stopped that self loathing that I am fat due to poor moral character and have some successful tool learned from the Beck Solution-Back to preplanning and recording.

We have no company planned for the rest 2007. Thanksgiving is with another couple- They also have health issues so we are planning a sugar free/low fat meal. mainly veggie and turkey meal. It will be great to celebrate with folks who do not want rich food as part of the party.

My one of my greatest times of vulnerability are social meals and gathering. I have my meals and house set up much like Beck recommends-set place to eat, no foods visiable or no treat foods even stored in the kitichen, learned to be much more mindful, put fork down between bites ect.

Once things are much more social-see alot of food about, feel encouraged by others to over eat, hearing them rave about the food, talking alot-lose mindfulness, eat any where or time, I feel so over whelmed that I stop hearing any sabotaging thoughts. It feel like I am "helpless" in stopping my behaviors. This has been compounded with 5 weekend in the last 7 with over night guests. I love guests but it is alot of work-cooking, cleaning and laundry- I get tired also.

Looking forward to being back in our routines again. BillBlueEyes- your meals sound so interesting-love big cities for the different types of ethnic foods available. Love going to San Francisco for the art, museums, food and great sights. Have a bearable working day. Sure sound like you have master the sabotaging idea of eating because you deserve a treat-working when other don't. I have sure used that alot in the past. Thinking that food can soothe the feeling of things being unfair. Life is one complex mystery-often unfair and wonderful.

best wishes to all
thanks for posting
sue
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Old 11-12-2007, 09:35 PM   #39  
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Well Bill you had me going until I hit these...

• I should have some of every item at a buffet.

And why is that?
Now my next comment will ruin this next situation if it happens again.

• When a vending machine accidentally gives me two items, it’s MANDATORY that I give one of them to someone else, because I didn't pay for two and if I eat both I am being dishonest, if I give one away I am encouraging good will in the Universe.

And we all know we can use all the good will we can get!

Why is it that because I made a cheesecake my sister thought was to die for I'm expected to bring it again this year? I was drooling on my keyboard just looking for the recipe...
Hmmm I wonder if she would accept a broccoli cheesecake instead?
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Old 11-13-2007, 07:00 AM   #40  
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Thumbs up La Boeheme Tuesday

Tonight we go to Boston to hear La Boheme - a great benefit of living near a city. Each time my heart hopes that Mimi will make it this time, perhaps a warm spell will hit Paris and she'll be alright. I raise my hopes so that I can feel the full pain of her dying.

Even though 3FC is a site for those of us who have make poor choices faced with the abundance of food, tonight I celebrate that the abundance of food is what allowed civilization to arise including the arts, and OPERA. And I will suffer for the poor Parisian students who were thin because they didn't have the money to buy food.


Sue - Loved your thought "Life is one complex mystery-often unfair and wonderful."

I'll think all day about Country Joe performing "Fixing to die rag". I hear Faulkner once again, "The past is never dead. It's not even past."

Just great that you're putting weight out of the moral character thinking. That seems to be a MAJOR Beck direction.


surrealchereal - You're right, this one ruins it for me:
Quote:
When a vending machine accidentally gives me two items, it’s MANDATORY that I give one of them to someone else, because I didn't pay for two and if I eat both I am being dishonest, if I give one away I am encouraging good will in the Universe.
How could I possibly deny the Universe, LOL. Or be a common crook.

Your broccoli cheesecake idea does indeed expose a demonic side What a great weapon to undermine the lures of over eating. You can teach us all to indulge in our little devil part. Perhaps we owe that to the Universe also.



Bethany - Hope you are reading these and staying the course.



Readers and Thinkers All - You might, of course, be sailing along without Sabotaging Thoughts, but, if your recognize any of these, or have your own unique ones, even if you're not into Beck, or even into sentences with too many commas, perhaps because you are sensitive to proper use of the English language, or even, shutter, teach English and are professionally appalled by its abuse, or, because you, yourself, are able to express a single thought without diverting into the irrelevant, please post just one of them to add to the collection here.

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Old 11-14-2007, 02:54 AM   #41  
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Hello All-

Surrrealchereal-how is the book and workbook going for you-which activities are you doing-want to share your advantage card? I found that card some of the best motiviation for me when I have stopped eating well-Inspite of screw ups in my eating, those advantages have really helped my return to dieting.

I truly believe that more old habits I do not reinforce the easier it will get. Today I really want some ice cream-went over my commitment to losing and knew if I bought some today I would just crave it more tomarrow and the next day. Yeah, sensible sue won today.

BilblueEyes -evening sound great.

I am re-doing day 17 for a number of meals-giving my self extra food -look at it on my plate and then throw it away. I feel I just get over whelmed when I have company and sort of lose it when I don't have my controlled food environment. Hopefully this is a small step to remain in control inspite of being very food stimulated when out or with food loving friends. have gotten back into the habit of finishing the salad when Dh has had enough-so few cals and it does not keep so I'll eat it instead of tossing it. Need to learn again to toss even the healthy stuff as enough is enough.

any other tasks/ideas you guys can think of to help me to learn to be rational when seeing alot of food during a party or just eating when preoccupied talking with others?

take care
sue
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Old 11-14-2007, 06:17 AM   #42  
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Thumbs down Wednesday after Mimi dies. Again.

Last night Mimi died. Again. Just like she has at the end of every performance of La Boheme. Oh, Well.

Boy, I sure do like a live performance of opera. Got caught up in the fantasy of being a starving artist in the Left Bank of Paris just waiting for a beautiful, spirited girl to come to my door so that I could fall in love at first sight, failing to notice that she's dying of 'consumption'. DW burst my bubble a bit when she reminded me that if the opera continued with the life of Rodolfo we'd see him also die of Tuberculosis in about five years since he kissed Mimi just before she died and TB is seriously contagious. I wonder if all biologists have their romantic fantasies damped by bacterial contagion.


"Sensible Sue" - You inspire me to keep working the issue of leaving food on the plate, even healthy stuff.


Everybody - Looking for diet-related Sabotaging Thoughts like the ones posted
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillBlueEyes View Post
• It’s OK to eat this.
• I’ll just eat these crumbs.
• I’ll make up for it later.
• It’ll go to waste if I don’t eat it.
• I should eat it because it’s free.
• It’s a special occasion.
• I’m treating myself.
What are yours? The next program-day in Beck is going to cover the nine Common Thinking Errors and the program-day after that to ask if one of these nine is at play with our Sabotaging Thoughts. So, fess up, post one of your Sabotaging Thoughts, there's work to be done here to be able to think like a thin person.


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Old 11-14-2007, 10:30 PM   #43  
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HI Everyone,

Hope all is going well for everyone.

I am using the daily food plan chart in the work book instead of fitday. I like that FitDay does calculate the calorie but felt I need the near by paper to insure I am recording all the food-especially those unplanned bites. Since it take about 3-6 mnutes to get on the internet-slow dial up I may forget to record stuff right away. Plus hate to see stuff in the unplanned eating column.

I did throw away some of my breakfast- that went ok Completely forgot to the same at lunch. Will do a bit for dinner. Really trying to break down this pattern of seeing foods at a party and overeating. Hoping that seeing and not eating food in my calmer home environment will help me learn that skill in a celebration.

My hugh sabotaging idea is- that ok eat just this once and tomarrow you will go back on a diet to lose all that extra weight. kind of I'll make this up later. Which I have but I keep losing the same 8 lb over and over-I want to get under 300 lbs by the end of Jan.

My now focus is- hey I am losing weight today?-because if I am then tomarrow i'll have more energy.

so glad you enjoyed the opera. I love live performances-I find Tv so boring with the small flat screen and all actions stopped for a commerical break. In fact We now longer have any TV service. -News is always bad and seems less scary on the radio- no pictures of the violence I always to day dream to be on the left bank in Paris when the impressionists were sitting in cafes and bars to discussing art.

Here is to being mindful in our lives.

sue
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Old 11-15-2007, 06:11 AM   #44  
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Thumbs up Last Thursday before Thanksgiving

Had a Beck moment at dinner last night.

Before I went on my evening walk, an exhausted DW announced that I was to bring home dinner. Now that's a fun request because I go by Whole Foods and their ready-to-eat section always looks as good as it looks overpriced. Got chicken cooked with prunes, broccoli with roasted red bell peppers, and roasted eggplant with red peppers and something else.

When eating, DW served herself seconds. I remembered that I don't do seconds, but served myself anyway. Had one bite of chicken and realized that I'd die for this for lunch the next day. So, I stopped, got up and filled a microwaveable container for lunch and put it in the fridge, then returned to the table. [Would have been a loooong wait to "grab the first wait staff that passes and just hand them my plate" and I wasn't ready for DW's reaction to "throw a napkin on my plate." LOL.]

Naturally I kick myself for even serving myself seconds. But I give myself credit for for waking up and realizing that I was satisfied, I was now servicing Desire, not hunger, and then stopping.

I'm going to count that as leaving food on my plate, since I have so few competing examples.


Sue - Congratulation for throwing away some breakfast. And for recognizing the sabotaging thought that you can eat something and get back on plan tomorrow.


Bethany - Hope all is well.


Readers, Beck graduates, Beck beginners, Beck-curious - May you recognize a Sabotaging Thought today and have a Helpful Response to recover. If you do, feel free to post it, because any-day-now I'm going to quite dawdling and post the Thinking Errors that we might be using to sustain them.


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Old 11-15-2007, 01:37 PM   #45  
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Hello to everyone.

BillBlueEyes-that was great to catch yourself eating your second portion. I think is actually more powerful when we are in the process of repeating old patterns and then become mindful and stop it. We stop our action in the well worn brain groove and climb out. Yeah!!

Yesterday left me with some new ideas on throwing food out. I had extra curry dish on my plate to sit there and not eat and later to throw out. I already had left over curry in the storage container for lunch-I could not throw it out- it just seemed stupid so added to the container for lunch.

Here is my game plan for extra food. I do like having extra on my plate and being conscious of not eating it. It helps fight that complusive reaction to eat just when I see food about any where.

To store or to throw the extra food out? things to throw out-anything I am addicted to-sweets, white flour ect,. This stuff stirs too much desire in me, Anything that doesn"t taste good after it stored-i.e. salad, toast, fish-In the past I will eat immediately any extras of this food as not to "waste" it as will not eat later if was old. Or if the amount to store is too small for a serving-so in the past I'll just eat that little bit now as not to "waste" it. Out all that stuff goes into the garbage.

Here is a petty annoyance but I could use some help on this. I am irritated by my husband contineous snacking after dinner. He slowly eats about 1-2 cups of peanuts over the course of the evening-he certainly can use the cals along with two small glasses of scotch.- Sometime after I heard him chewing for 40 minutes I want some peanut so badly -pure lust for the taste-or even a drink-I get so annoyed. I feel like a real *itch to get so upset. I know all of this is my emotional response to watching and hearing others eat and not jumping in to particpate with the eating particuliarly when I am a bit hungry. What can I do with my frustration about not eating- oh well does not work for me if the stimulation is continually there. I can say oh well and walk away from stuff it is when it is not contineously in my sight but I have really problems when the food or I remain in the same room.

good luck with healthy eating
sue
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