Hello^^
 

Hello all.

New to this forum.

I'm eighteen years old. And well, my weight has always been a problem for me. At my highest weight I've had a BMI of 29, at my lowest of 17.8 or so.

Basically, I was overweight as a kid. Wasn't really teased about it until junior high, but I always knew I was fat, and hated it. Doesn't really help that my household isn't one that eats all that healthy in terms of maintaining a healthy weight.

I developed an eating disorder at 13. I was so sick and tired of being fat, of being made fun of, of never being able to fit into the clothes that I wanted because they weren't my size that...I started starving myself. That worked for a while. I lost a lot of weight, worried my family. never lost enough to be clinically anorexic, but I did. Then it turned into this weird bulimic/binge-eating cycle, where I would completly lose control and just eat, and gain weight like crazy because my metabolism is completly screwed up, and going from 600 calories a day to 2000 or more is a shock, so I'd gain weight and hate it and start vomiting up what I ate, to the point where some days it'd just be eat and puke eat and puke eat and puke, all day.

And just...my weight fluctuated a lot. But I hated it. After a while I just go so tired of vomiting all the time, everything, and anyways I developed acid reflux because of all of it, was mildly anemic for a time, and just so...I didn't enjoy life. Even at my lower weights, I was just...it was like, no matter how much I lost it wasn't enough, and...I'd gain it back again anyway, and it was so mentally trying I just stopped.

And because my metabolism is totally screwed up (I gain weight at 1500-1600 calories a day. Seriously) now, I gained and now am overweight. I've tried to deal with it, accept my body, but...it galls be. Because I am NOT healthy, being overweight is not healthy, the fact that I am no longer purging does not mean I am healthy if I am not eating healthy, which I admit I am not doing as I should or could.

And I decided I'd like to try to lose weight in a healthy fashion. Lose enough to be in a healthy weight range, not underweight or overweight, and maintain that weight. I don't want to go back to being eating disordered, but I'd like to...fit into a nice, standard size jeans, you know?

So yes. I found this website/community and it seemed really nice and supportive, so I figured I'd join. I'm not online all that much because of colllege classes. I have a fairly good amount of knowledge of nutrition etc, because despite the fact that I've abused said knowledge in the past, I was also learning accuratly, and...I'd like to give and get support from others who are also trying to lose weight in a healthy, normal manner. Hopefully this will help me avoid the two evils of either giving up, or going back to unhealthy measures.

So that's me. Hello^^

Welcome to the forum. I totally understand what you are going through as I have been having weight issues as a child. I now suffer from PCOS and Insulin Resistance so my metabolism is always low. I try really hard to lose weight but probably the most I can loose per week is 0.5 a pound.
I really like reading through the forum and learning from other people's experiences, I'm sure that you'll find that helpfull too :)