newbie delurking!
 

I've been roaming around here for about a week now, and I'm just so impressed at the support, information, and friendliness here!

I'm a PhD student at an Ivy League school (originally from Canada), just recently turned 30, and need to lose 30lbs. I'd love to do it by August for my engagement party... but it's such a struggle.

I have a history of anorexia, most recently in 2001. Now I've regained my weight, and then some, and I just feel like I don't belong in my body. I told my psychiatrist last week that it's like I'm wearing shoes that are too big for me--you can get away with wearing shoes that are one size too big, if you wear thick socks and walk carefully, but shoes that are two sizes too big just stop you in your tracks. Right now I'm at least two sizes too big, and I'm back at the weight that I was when I first got sick a couple of years ago.

It's hard--I have a difficult time working out every day, because I'm lazy (although I actually enjoy working out). I can't try low-carb because I have chronic kidney disease. My diet is somewhat limited by lactose intolerance. Not to mention that I live in a dorm room with no kitchen, and only a very primitive microwave and bar fridge. And as a graduate student, I lead a pretty sedentary life.

I guess that I really want to lose weight, but I'm scared of getting sick again. I want to be healthy, but I'm fighting with myself over how to do it.

So I guess I'm hoping that the wonderful people here can give me some support and suggestions, and help me keep my mind together while getting my body back in shape. :^:

Feeling a little embarrassed at sharing so much,

Please don't be embarrassed. We are all friends and all share.

There is a Section for Eating Disorders which may give you some support. Scroll further down this page. I know you are better now but you did say you are concerned about getting sick again.

It may be helpful to use the Journal feature of this site as you get yourself back on the healthy path.