I am new to this...

  • Hey everyone! I am new to the forum thing and not quite sure its gonna be something I will stick with. I wanted to find an "outlet" to vent and figured what better way than a forum about my biggest insecurity. I don't know if I will get any friends from this, or even get any benefit from it, but how will you know if you never try. So here it goes..

    ABOUT ME :
    My name is Veronica. I am 31 yrs old. I currently weigh 201 lbs. My goal weight is 150 lbs. I have a 5 month old son as of 2/25. He is the light of my life. It took me 11 years to find the right guy and conceive him. I recently bought my own house in June of 2018. When I was pregnant with my son I started at 210 lbs and was a max of 229 lbs. I actually lost all of that weight within the first week after having him, thankfully. Now I am struggling with losing the rest.

    MY STORY :
    So in September of 2011, when I was just 23 yrs old, I lost my father to stage 4 lung cancer. It tore me up extremely bad and put me into a deep depression. I started taking Phentermine in August of 2011 and by January of 2012 I had lost 60 lbs. I felt amazing. I looked amazing. People noticed. My self esteem went up. I wasn't insecure anymore. But I stopped taking the medication after 4 months on it. I kept the weight off for a good 3 years. Then I hit a depression stage where all my weight came back. I am now back in the same situation I was in before. I am not as heavy as I was before but I am insecure again. My self esteem is down 80%. I feel gross. I just hate myself. So in January of 2019 I went back to the doctor and was prescribed Phentermine again, along with Zoloft and Abilify.

    GOALS :
    My main goal is to get to a healthy weight that if I had to run after my son, I wouldn't be COMPLETELY out of breath. I would like to still be thick but also have a nice curvy waist and not a flabby one. I don't really mind my legs, I would like them to be more tone then they are now, but those aren't my biggest concern. I would also like the fat from my face to disappear as well.

    PROBLEMS :
    My main problems is my eating habits. I am not a "healthy" person when it comes to eating. I am not a salad and water type of person. I have a problem with drinking diet coke (at least 3-5 20 fl oz of diet cokes during the week). I RARELY drink water (just doesn't seem to quench my thirst). When I was pregnant I drank water all the time cause I craved it, but now I could care less. I also stopped eating out as much which is a good thing, but I still feel like I am not losing the weight I need. My big problem is that I procrastinate with working out. I get all hyped to do it during the day, and then as soon as I come home..BLOOP, I sit down and never get back up. I don't know how to get motivated or at least STAY motivated during the day all the way until I get home.

    Any suggestions?

Tags

anxiety, depression, motivation, phentermine, weight loss