[nola_girl]

So here I am, formerly fit and now pretty heavy -- the heaviest I've ever been actually. There are at least a dozen reasons that I can think of as to why I've allowed myself to get this way -- some are completely within my control, actually most probably are. I need 100lbs gone -- but it does seem that no matter what I do, I just keep getting bigger. I work from home, so I know that has something to do with it. I'm also in my mid-50's and the change has not been kind to me AT ALL. Nothing I've done in the past seems to work now: Low carb, exercise, calorie counting, nothing.

I haven't had my period for over a year, but I still have the symptoms every month -- with an additional 5lb weight gain to boot. I feel depressed and embarrassed and don't leave the house for days because I'm uncomfortable with how I look, and am worried that I might run into someone who I haven't seen in awhile. The weight gain is causing me to miss out on social activities because I'm just so ashamed of how I've let myself go. I don't overeat, but working 2 jobs, both from home, I also don't move a lot. I'm frustrated and sad and literally have days where I hate myself and tell myself how much of a fat pig I am, when I look in the mirror. Seriously. I think that I should probably get to the doctor and get a physical and start there, and I will, but does anyone else feel like this? I just seems so hopeless and insurmountable that I worry this is how the rest of my life is going to be. I'm a single mom and both of my kids are almost done with college -- I should be getting ready to enjoy this new phase of my life but instead I'm just stuck and unhappy. It's all so pathetic.

[Chanticleer]

It sounds like you're going through a challenging time. I think many on this site have felt some version of what you're feeling about your weight, at least at some point, so you aren't alone in that. Speaking personally, I felt very similar at my high weight - I was extremely uncomfortable and unhappy with how big I was. Nothing fit well, no position felt comfortable, and it made some of my health issues worse.

When you say that nothing is working for you, do you mean that you can't bring yourself to do it for a long time, or that literally no weight is coming off even after a couple months? If it's the former, you may be tracking inaccurately (like with calorie counting, which is common). If it's the latter, you need a doctor's help because that's very unusual and it may be related to a more serious issue.

No matter what you decide to do to lose weight, a couple things may help. It helps to put in effort so you love and appreciate yourself on some level all the time. You don't always have to love everything about yourself, but be kind to yourself. It's harder than it sounds, I know, but even the effort helps a lot.

Also, if you're like me, it will take a good 3 months to really see enough of a difference that you don't feel so uncomfortable. It varies, but that's how long it took me. I didn't even want to start at first because I knew it would take a long while to actually get any results. But they're really worth it later, even when it doesn't feel like it before then. Time will pass anyway, and I know I'll thank myself for losing weight even if it's slower than ideal. Slow loss is still loss.

Not sure if any of this helped, but I hope at least some did. Welcome to the site, by the way!

[Kelly13]

nola_girl, I've been where you are so many times in my life, and it's a sucky place to be. I've been "losing" weight for YEARS now, and I have been particularly unhappy with my weight for over 4 years now (since I've been at my heaviest, blah). I've been losing the same 10 pounds over and over again.

I will tell you what seems to finally be working for me, and perhaps it will give you some ideas.

1) We have a big family trip coming up this summer. There will be a lot of walking, and I want to be able to keep up, and feel better than I did on our trip last summer. Every pound lost is less weight I'll be carrying on that trip!

2) I started wearing my fitbit every day (I just have a simple fitbit zip), and I'm trying very hard to meet my goal every day.

3) I started going to the gym every day. Before, I'd think "Oh, I'll do the treadmill in the basement later" but later never came. Making an effort to go to the gym every night means I'm going to do it (I'm driving there, after all!), and now it's become a routine in the past month. My husband asks me about the gym almost every day, and encourages me to go, and tells me how great I'm doing by going.

4) Instead of focusing on the BIG goals, I'm making little ones to meet, instead. My first goal is 225, and when I get there, it will be my lowest weight in, oh... 4 years?? After that, I'd like to get down to 10% lost, and then 215... and then 209... and then, FINALLY, ONEDERLAND!

Baby steps are key! Maybe try to get up and move for 5 mins for every hour you are sitting?

Good luck, you can do it! Just make a game plan, and stick to it!