Oh my gosh! I feel the same way! The mental stuff is a killer. I've always been a bit unstable so I didn't realize what was going on at first, I was just suddenly really sad and really really afraid all the time. And my doctor was like, you need a psychiatrist when I tried to ask about my hormones (I had a hysterectomy years ago so I have to guess when it's my time of the month). And I do see a psychiatrist, but the meds he put me on only take the barest edge off of the anxiety. If I increase the dose they make me really dumb. So I'm stuck. My social anxiety is getting so bad that I have a hard functioning at work and in school.

So yeah, I am dieting because it helps me feel in control of my weight at least. And I'm super careful to eat foods that seem to help with brain fog and moodiness. I'm doing a combination of Weight Watchers and a weird diet I did before that was really successful but not flexible. Weight Watchers never worked for me before, I found points silly when I could just count calories? But with their app it's easy to get point values and the new plan is good for me (fruits and vegetables free, emphasis on home cooking, low on processed foods, but nothing forbidden) and I can eat what I need to stay sane. Now I think points are great. So high fiber and high protein basically, and planning everything in advance. Three meals a day like you with no sweets (I miss them though) but a snack if I need it.

I'm just starting out though, so although my weight loss has been dramatic it's mostly been water. It's starting to slow up.

One thing that has been a huge help is my husband is firmly on board with my weight loss. He's good with the diet meals but knows he can supplement with bread and can always treat himself to something else if he wants more. Like tomorrow he's going to grill so he bought himself a giant steak while I will have a small piece of yummy fish.

You know, I really struggled with social anxiety in my 20s and I thought it was all behind me. But it's really come back in the past few years. I attributed it to situational stuff, but now that you mention it, it could be perimenopause related. Geez, what our doctor's don't know about women's health, eh?

I'm so sorry you're struggling with anxiety too, it's no picnic that's for sure and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

About you're diet, I think the best plan is what works for us, and what we find doable. I'm really missing sweets too, and I'm considering keeping a closer eye on my calories so I can squeeze in a couple of cookies each night. That's something I did in my 30s when I lost a chunk of med weight and managed to keep it off...for a few years at least.

I'm also lucky to have a supportive husband. He's slim and pretty much eats what he wants. With the 3 meals only, it makes it easy for me to cook a hearty meal that satisfies him, and I just eat 1/3 sometimes 1/4 of the portion he takes. It's working out. If we have something lighter he happily raids the kitchen after dinner.

Tortie, I so understand this. I'm in perimenopause too (I'm 44) and I don't mind some of the stuff. My hot flashes, when I have them, are mild. Missing a period is kind of nice. But my sleep quality sucks, and my hormones are so whacked. I get anxiety for no reason, and I'm so fatigued most of the time that I feel drugged. I re-started HRT last week because I could no longer stand the fatigue. The hormones help with that.

Hi Dee, yes, I have no complaints about a missed period either. The doctors here are so reluctant to prescribe HRT, but, gosh if it helps to keeps you funcitoning...

I know you've lost quite a bit of weight and you do exercise regularly, so I'm sorry to learn (for you as well as myself) that the hormonal changes are still having such an impact. Thanks for your input and I'm so pleased that the HRT helps you out. You say you've re-started HRT- had you become concerned while taking it before, or had your doctor? Or had you been using if before for something other than perimenopause?

Ugh, fatigue, I have a distant memory of what not feeling fatigued felt like.

My husband and I do 1/3 me, 2/3 him as well. It's was hard on him at first because he worried that I was deprived (he thinks it should be 50/50 but he's tall and muscular and a runner so needs a lot of food) but now he has a lot of fun making sure the portions are 'perfect.'

I'm doing the bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, rather than the synthetic type. That's supposed to be protective for the heart, rather than deleterious. In theory, anyway.

I had stopped HRT because I had started to get really serious anxiety and at the time we thought it was the hormones. I was estrogen dominant and no matter what we did, I remained estrogen dominant. They'd increase my progesterone, and my estrogen would go up. No matter what. So I stopped taking it. But one thing about when I was on HRT, my energy was so much better. That's from the testosterone (I'm low in all 3 of the hormones when not taking HRT). But this time when I tested, I was not estrogen dominant. Possibly due to finally losing enough fat, possibly because I've been taking a supplement called DIM which is supposed to help with that. So I'm trying again. Not sure what I'll do if the anxiety returns. The anxiety is horrible, but so is the fatigue. Be nice if I could find a happy medium.

Dee, it's such a fiddly business getting the right balance isn't it. I do wish you much luck and hope it settles your anxiety rather than exacerbates.

I would have to see a naturpath locally for bioidentical HRT, and it can get really pricey. For now I'll focus on regaining my health with diet and exercise and *fingers crossed* it helps matters. I will definitely keep an open mind about HRT though.

tefrey, my husband's reaction was the same when I start portion controlling - he feels as though I'm starving myself. But he understands it now too. He had forgotten how much less I ate when we were first together and I wasn't such a chubster. His job is physical and he is much taller than I am (but then again, so are most people) so his caloric need is so much greater.