Lost, scared, and ready to change
 

In a nut shell i have been diagnosed with several things in my recent years of life in regards to conceiving a child. Every single one has weight as a marker. I am ready to loose the weight. I want a baby more than ever before and I am not sure what I weigh currently but the last time I weighed my self a few weeks ago I was just shy of 270pounds.

I feel so fat. Im so afraid for my health. Im terrified of all the excess skin. Im scared I will fail.

I also know I am struggling with a food addiction. If its not an addiction its a crutch for my emotions and how I feel.

I switched from a very very active job to a desk job and over a year and a half I have gained at least 30 pounds. It makes me angry. Part of the weight gain is not just sitting but that I eat out almost everyday for lunch and sometimes twice a day for dinner. Part of this comes from me not wanting to cook.

I need support. Oh did I mention my husband is a chef....he is always making food that is so amazing and hard to resist. He of course is a normal weight. I took a photo with him last weekend and I was disgusted by my self.

I am ready to make a change. A BIG BIG CHANGE.

I want to get pregnant. I dont want to have complications in a pregnancy. I want to have a healthy relationship with food. I want to look at a picture of my husband and I, and feel pretty again.

I have a serious health issue that if I dont loose weight could cause me to have to have a hysterectomy. So I really appreciate all the support I can get.

Welcome!

I can certainly understand where you're coming from. Food can definitely feel like an addiction at times, and it's very hard to try to eat healthfully when your husband isn't, particularly if he's doing the cooking at home. That said, it's definitely possible to make changes that lead you in the right direction. The biggest things I can recommend are logging your food, eating meals at a table without electronic distractions, and asking yourself if you're really hungry before you have a snack.

I hope you're able to find the support you're looking for here! :)