[gaialove]

Hello!

I'm new to this website, but sadly not new to battles with my weight. This is gonna be a long one, because I'm nothing if not a rambler.

I'm 23 years old, and I've seriously yo-yoed over the years. I was a chubby child, a fat preteen, and an obese teenager. I think I topped the scales at almost 180lbs when I was 13 and maybe 4'11". Fast forward a couple of years, I battled some serious depression and anxiety, dropped out of school, stopped leaving my room, and subsequently stopped really eating. I dropped weight quickly, and soon was under 140lbs. With no school or social interaction to focus on, and people endlessly praising me for my weight loss, I became obsessed with it, beginning to restrict further and further until I wasn't eating for days, and definitely overexercising. The result was weighing 108lbs at 5'3" by the time I was 16, having no period for months, and generally feeling shitty.

I eventually recovered, socialised, etc, but had shot my metabolism to **** and returned to my old binge eating ways, and quickly got myself back up to around 155lbs by the time I was 18.

Another negative period in my life, another opportunity for isolation and obsession followed, and I went back to my old habits of excessive restriction, dropping back down to 125lbs in a very short period of time.

I then went to university, and four years of stress, not exercising, and overeating has left me my biggest I've been in years. I don't know what I weigh, I am honestly terrified to step foot on a scale, but I'd hazard a guess that it's close to 165lbs, if not more. I'm a UK size 14 on top, 16 on bottom, and miserable with it.

I recently moved to Thailand, and the fact I am significantly bigger than everyone else here is adding to my misery.

So I've decided to do something about it, but, hopefully this time the right way. Namely: I'm not going to weigh myself. At all. Ever. For me numbers are a massive trigger for obsession and over restriction, so I've decided I'm just not gonna even look at them.

Instead I'm going to go by the fit of my clothes. I've started going to the gym 4-5 times a week with a friend, mainly focusing on weight training, am doing cardio (walking, swimming) etc at least a couple times a week and have am trying to cut back my intake without counting calories. Healthy eating is (surprisingly) difficult in Thailand are they are big lovers of sugar, fried everything & piles of white rice, not to mention eating out is far, far cheaper than cooking at home, but I'm doing my best.

Anyway, no idea how to end this, but thats me. Here's hoping it works out.

[Emsikins]

Hi! Our stories sound so similar! I'm in my early 20s and am also trying to lose weight the "healthy way" after going up and down in my weight for so long. I wish you the absolute best in your journey! You can do it!!

[Scotsgal]

Welcome to the forum!

I am also losing weight the healthy way, however I do calorie count and weigh myself every day But taking those two factors out, we have the same aim, and that is to have a healthy diet and to fit in smaller clothes . I am currently an 18/20 UK bottom and 22/24 Uk top. Living in Thailand must be difficult to follow a typical diet that we would suggest as you have no way of following it. The white rice is actually fine in moderation, as long as it is half and half with some meat or fish to up your protein. I hope you find a way to manage losing while over there. Are you on a gap year? TEFL course? or Job?

I think that travelling can give you a great sense of self worth, maybe you need to clear you head of what makes you binge, work on finding out what your triggers are so that you will have a better time of avoiding them. I hope that you succeed!

Come over to the 20-somethings page we try and put up some great challenges.