Work(out)ing hard, eating harder: what the hack is wrong with me???!!!
 

Throughout my life I have had exactly three genuine and continuous interests: my career, my family/closest friends from childhood and my sport (running, orienteering, climbing..). I feel free to say that 95% of my time went attending one of these. However, recently I have developed a fresh new preoccupation which actually brings me to this forum - and that is my desperate eagerness to discover what the hack is wrong with me?????!!!!

In order for you to understand where the question comes from, I need to elaborate a bit and set you up for a short travel to the past - don't worry I'll fast forward you through it. In short, until only few years ago I was thin, skinny and happy. Then, the pragmatism took the better of me, eating fast and whatever comes in handy so I gained weight and here I am now - 15 kilos heavier. So far nothing special, right? A girl gets fat, she goes on a diet, she becomes skinny again. NOT!! Well, at least not with me...

So, here comes the twist: through out all these years, I have been very active running half marathons, eating more-less clean food, not drinking alcohol regularly, sleeping right ets. To add on top of this - my body type is actually mesomorph which means I can lose weight pretty quickly if I can control my eating. And here is where we come to a real problem - I can't!

Another twist - I do not eat fried (never!), I hardly ever eat sweet, I do not like pastries/pastas/pizzas and I LOVE all the veggies and all the fruit. In short - I love eating what is good for me but apparently, I love eating too much of it.

For instance, I had done 2 rounds of Insanity between October and March. After that, I started Focus T25 combined with the Cize and regular running so overall, I am exercising 10 times per week in average. I have started eating protein, which was never the case before, and as a result my muscles are growing very quickly. I do not want to stop that but I DO want to shred the fat. Obviously, in order to do so I need to review my eating habits and above all, reduce the portion sizes. To that end, I have purchased the portion control containers a month ago and have been (trying) to use them ever since.

My goal is to lose 5kg of fat. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less (ok - i'd take less!). But I just cannot stop eating! I set up my containers, I stick with them and then in the evening, I eat another kilo of food on top of it! Obviously, I hate myself, I hate losing weight and in the morning it is even more difficult to re-start everything having less and less faith in success.
What frustrates me the most is that I have been waking up at 5am every morning for the past years to run - regardless rain, wind, snow, vacation, business travel. I have been exercising twice per day for months regardless viruses, bugs, sleepiness, tiredness. And I screw it all eating. How is it possible that I can be so committed on one side, so disciplined and responsible and so reckless, immature and unsuccessful on the other side??? Hence - WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

This forum will be my trial to apply the portion control system 10 days in a row and prove to myself that I CAN do it. Only 10 days. TEN days. TEN.