Tired of feeling worthless...
 

For the longest time, I've been the fat girl. The girl no one wanted to hang out with and the girl no one could ever date. That changed in the summer of 2012 when I met the love of my life. I wasn't the fat girl anymore, I was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and I felt honored and cared about.

Unfortunately the problem is I am still the fat girl to everyone else, including myself. For a while I've been denying it and saying that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks and it probably doesn't matter but the problem is, I'm not healthy. My health is slowly deteriorating. I'm getting bigger, I'm finding it harder to breath and harder to do something as simple as grocery shopping.

Doing fun things with my family is pretty much impossible. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore without feeling sick and I hate being photographed. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin and I want to so badly but it's so hard. I don't know where to start. I've tried this a million times before and it's not just me I want to do it for but my family as well.

That's why I decided to jump in here. I've lurked around in the past but I truly want to jump into this group and find the support I need and perhaps make a few friends along the way. Anyhow....

I'm Skyylar. I'm no good at these introduction things and I'm sorry for rambling! I just turned 27 a couple weeks ago and I feel like I'm 70...I want my life back...

Skyylar: Welcome to the threads! You can do this and start to make small improvements in your life. Just remember it didn't all come onto your body in a short period of time and it won't fall off so less than getting frustrated with the journey, start making small changes and be happy with each little step. Will your love go for a walk with you each day? Taking the stairs at work, parking further out, all ways of getting a few extra steps into your day. You have found a good place to get support! Find someplace and jump in. I find it helps out immensely especially on those days you just want to give up. Good luck to you and may you find small victories all along the way! :broc:

Hi, Skyylar - I'm a longtime lurker, too. I'm sure you know from lurking that you're not alone in your feelings. It's great that you're putting yourself out there on the forums. I know you'll get great support here!

Best wishes.

^THIS.

You got this! Small changes at high weights have big impacts!

I made small changes in my diet at 281lbs and saw big changes e.g. cutting soda, candy, chips etc. -one at a time. The changes on the scale motivated me to make bigger changes and it was life changing.

People at lower weights do not have that advantage. So embrace it and go for it!

I have never looked back.

Welcome to this community, I'm new here too but a repeat reoffender on dieting :( I'm making a plan now and planning to stick with it, start slowly and celebrate even the smaller of your progress, one step a day. Good luck and hope to see you around :carrot:

You are not alone here, skyylar. I feel the exact same way about myself. But I've learned that constant, positive self-talk helps tremendously. I just started my diet back today, and even though I'm praying that it's not going to be like the 1,204,484,483 times I've given up on dieting, I'm trying to stay positive about the situation.

Just remember, it's not going to happen overnight, and if you REEEALLY want something, it's going to take hard work, but I know you can do this. I read a quote that said along the lines, "If you don't do anything about a situation, you really don't want it in the first place." I say this in the nicest way possible, don't let something tragic happen to make you finally get on track with your health.

Not sure how this forum works because I just joined, but if you ever need someone to talk, please get in touch with me. We can motivate each other. :)

Welcome Skyylar! Welcome to the forum. We are so similar, I could have written your post myself! We are of similar age and weight, and I restarted my journey last week. I have tried heaps to lose weight, however I have started a highly structured and very accountable diet and exercise program at my local gym and I am already seeing results. This forum is so supportive, you will love it here! Don't be afraid to bounce ideas off people, if you need to vent, go ahead, anything you need, just ask :)