Fed Up With Starting a New Diet Every Day - Need Motivation
 

Hi everyone - sigh, where do I start? I'm almost 26 years old and weigh about 205 lbs. In May of 2012, I started at 309 lbs. My lowest weight was around 170 lbs in May of 2013. Yes, that's about 135 lbs in a year. In June of 2013, I started dating my now live in boyfriend and he has already bought a ring to propose, I'm thinking on my birthday in December.. So, what's not to be ecstatically happy about, right?

Well, I binge eat all the time and start a "new" diet EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. For about the entirety of my life. I don't know what to do to re-motivate myself anymore. I FEEL gross and overweight, but my boyfriend is completely happy with me. I think that gives me the "okay" to not start hardcore dieting again. Yes, I want to lose weight, but yes, I am happy too.

Any advice from anyone? Funny how you can still be down over 100 lbs and feel like garbage. Even in the 160s I felt fat even though my cheeks were sunken in. I'm 5'9 by the way.

PS: I should add that in the past year and a half I moved out of my parents house for the first time, moved in with a boyfriend for the first time and we're now looking to buy a house. LOTS of changes in a short amount of time!

HELP! :)

It's funny, you're around my age, weight and height and I can totally relate to the binging and starting a new diet all the time. Only just now am I really making an effort to get that under control first before focusing on the diet. It's hard, because you want the pounds to come off first for aesthetic reasons, even though you really need to put in the internal work.

Do you have a plan? How did you lose weight the first time?

Good luck and welcome!

@gymrat05, that's so true! Unless I fix the binging I feel like I'll always yoyo diet. The first time around I was just really focused (i.e. single, at home, just worked and exercised). I do feel like I can do it again and that's almost to my detriment because I'm "happy" now and I know I could do it if I really wanted to. Seeing the numbers go down does motivate me, but realizing I have about 50 pounds to lose before I'm considered "healthy" is just irritating.

137 lbs is thin for our height, isn't it?

For someone 5'9, a regular BMI is from 125 to 169 pounds.

I'm 5'10 and my range is from 129 to 174 pounds. However, The lower end of that range would be FAR too low for me. In my teenage years I weighted 180 and I was slim. I have a lot of lean mass.

So BMIs are kind of misleading. There are people in the low end of that spectrum who would have an unhealthy amount of fat if they were in the high end.

I think it's an okay guideline, but when you get down near goal you have to either be in tune with what is healthy for you and what your body wants, or find out your body fat percent in an accurate way so you have hard numbers to show what is healthy for you. BMI isn't an indication of health at all - it's just a general guideline that doesn't apply to everyone.

In other words, 137 lbs for someone 5'9 might be perfectly healthy, but it also might not. It depends on your body composition.

I agree with faiora. Totally depends on the individual. My weight goals are pretty arbitrary. As you get closer to goal it's good to reevaluate if that goal is realistic or not. For example, if I'm 20% body fat at 150lbs well, I'd be perfectly fine being 150lbs.

I think it can be dangerous to someone with binge eating compulsions to think about "big picture" weight loss. You make little, manageable changes every day and you'll feel better and, slowly the weight will come off.

Thanks to you both, I do agree. I just remember being 165 and feeling like I couldn't possibly lose more weight, but I'm sure I could have.

Any tips on the motivation part? Especially in a relationship? It's hard (for me at least) to keep in mind that I should be happy with myself too, not just my boyfriend, but it's difficult.

I guess that's why it seems like everyone has problems with weight..

I'm lucky to have a husband who's fully on board with my weight loss goals and is following the same plan I am to lead a healthy lifestyle. We're both logging calories and following the same rewards system, and so far it's going really well.

I've known for a while of course that I have a weight problem, but I was feeling really jaded about the idea of losing any weight - actually, terrified of losing weight because every time I've done so in the past I've gained it back with interest. So it took me a long time to agree to a plan, and when I did I made it intentionally conservative and slow-paced so I will feel like I'm in control, but have leeway for going out of control on a limited basis (if that makes sense).

But before I even got to that point, I had to realize how my weight was affecting my husband. He loves me, and he's committed to me, and I have never felt otherwise... but I noticed an obvious decrease in the sexual/lust side of our relationship. I simply was and am not the girl he met 13 years ago, or the woman he married (although by then I was already significantly overweight). And that's something we've both had to deal with.

So for me, yes, I already knew I was overweight, and I already knew my reasons to lose weight, but adding another person's needs to my own was what really spurred me to do something.

If it's of any help, here are my reasons to lose weight:

- I have congenital heart problems and don't want to develop high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, or other issues that would make my condition worse.

- My husband and I would like to have children. Losing weight is apparently helpful for an easier pregnancy and for childbirth.

- I would like to have more energy, and more stamina to do more activities

- I would like to fit into normal-sized clothing so it's easier to shop for clothes

I'm sure you have more reasons for yourself. If you're a visual person you could consider making a goal board/collage with pictures of all the things you want to be able to do, and stuff like that. It works for one of my friends. :)