I am new to this...
 

Hi my name is Kelly Holdeman, and I am new to this kind of thing, but I have gained a lot of weight and really need the support to lose it again... I lost 60 pounds about 4 years ago and I want to do it again. I had the motivation then, but lost it now. Can anyone help me? I have seen some of the stories and love the support people are receiving. I could use that kind of support.

RawrGirl is right there with you. She lost 30 pounds about about 2 years ago (after losing the 20 she gained from quitting smoking 2 years before that), but has gained much of it all back. She just joined 3FC today too, so we are both newbie's here.

What diet program are you doing?

RawrGirl is trying Sonoma for the first time.



RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

I am not sure what to try for a program...when I lost it the first time I just exercised, ate meat, veggies, fruit, and protein. I just can't seem to find the motivation this time.

Well, RawrGirl threw out most of all her "fat" clothes when she reached goal as all the books said to do, and now she has no clothes to wear. She refuses to go to goodwill and buy more "fat" clothes. She has one pair of pants she found hidden deep in the closet that fortunately missed getting thrown away, so she wears them to work and then lives in her yoga pants. Her first goal is getting back into her black jeans what were too baggy to wear when she was at goal. That's her motivation.

What motivated you before? Did you have a specific goal like a particular dress or jean you wanted to fit into?




RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

We are like two peas in a pod...I also threw out my fat clothes and have two pairs of jeans and live in sweat pants....trying to win a guy I chased for three years was my motivation...now we have been together 5 years and have a house together....I already have him and he doesn't care what I look like. Diabetes runs in my family and my grandma died of a heart attack, I don't want that to be me....I need someone to talk to and coach me on to success.

Congrats on getting the guy! Very romantic. :)

Diabetes also runs in my family -- my father, an uncle, and a grandfather died from diabetic complications (they also had hepititis C which exasperates diabetes), and I have another uncle dying of it.

My Prince Charming also doesn't care that much how I look, but I am pretty subconscious beyond a certain point -- I won't shower with him, only "wrestle" in the dark, etc...and that starts to wear on me. We have what I call in-home dates every Friday and Saturday night, where we watch movies and have a few drinks, etc. And I used to dress up in sexy club-type wear (you know, overtly sexy stuff I personally would never wear outside the house even though they are technically clothes and not lingerie), and obviously they don't fit me, and I'm not thin enough to feel pretty/sexy in them anyway. So, I think clothes and feeling sexy again are my motivation. Also, no family knows I gained it all back and I will be seeing them at Christimas and would like to show up the way they saw me last. I feel this almost shame like cloud hoovering over me if anyone were to think, oh yea, she's just one more person who lost it and couldn't keep it off. I don't know why that bothers me so much, but after struggling for 22 years to lose it and finally doing it and then eating myself back up to my usual weight makes me feel like a bigger failure than if I had never lost it to begin with. that is not to say I feel like a failure -- but that if I were to show up at Christmas at my present weight, I would feel like a failure -- so it's the wanting to avoid the feeling of failure that is motivating me. Hope that makes sense.

I have no idea if that gives you any ideas for personal inspirations or not, but I think it would be fun if we could coach either on to success. :)



RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

Of course I would love to be a part of that... I really need support coming from someone who has been there. What you had to say does give me some inspirations I don't know why this time is so much more difficult for me to lose the weight.

A long time ago I read something in a self-help book that I thought was quite interesting in the way it gets you to figure out your goals.

It went something like this:

What do you want? _______________________
How would you feel when you had it?____________
Then what you really want is:________________(previous answer)

And then you start all over again, until you figure out what you really want.

Here is an example:

What do you want? To lose weight
How would you feel when you had it? thin.
So what you really want is: To be thin.

What do you want? To be thin?
How would you feel when you had it? Pretty.
So what you really want is: To feel pretty.

What do you want? To feel pretty.
How would you feel when you had it? Not self-conscious; confident.
So what you really want is: To feel confident.

So then when you get to the end, and figure out what you really want you can see if the steps to get there are actually different than what you first thought. To lose weight = exercise and eat less. But to feel confident may actually = buy new clothes or get your hair done. Or even pursue a hobby you are good at so it makes you feel confident in other areas of life. Some people could end up realizing it was not actually "lose weight" but "feel loved" or even "have my father's acceptance."

Point is, if you know why you want to lose weight, perhaps finding the motivation to more actively pursue it will come up.

BTW, what exactly are you not motivated to do? Exercise? Eat less in general? Cut out a favorite food? Sweets?

RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

Exercising and eating less and eating right.... I feel guilty after getting seconds or taking more then I should but I do it anyway....I also always feel really good after working out but I make up so many excuses not to do it...

Good luck Kelly on your weight loss. I lost 97 pounds about 4 years ago as well, and regained 23 over the last 18 months...it's horrifying. I never really followed a diet plan, but these days I'm very much into the 5:2 fasting diet. You can look it up on the internet, but it's basically 5 days of eating well and within your healthy calorie range, then 2 days of "fasting" at 500 calories per day. I fasted today and I'll fast again Wednesday. I like it because it curbs my appetite a lot on the non-fasting days. I feel better and leaner, and my digestion works better as well.

I also make sure to exercise EVERY day, 7 days a week. Even if it's just an hour of gentle yoga on the fasting days. I'm in my 40's and my metabolism isn't quite what it used to be, so weight training 3x a week with cardio 5x a week is essential.

Also, I don't weigh daily, I find it de-motivating because there are too many variables. If I weigh weekly, I usually always see a drop, even if it's a pound, it keeps me motivated!

Wow, just reading this thread first thing in the mooring has given me new hope and insight. I now see that feeling guilty, unsexy, like a failure, and said is not unique unto me. That other women have body issues too, and Im so glad to be here with people who are not ashamed to share. This could never happen at a table filled with woman friends. Thank you all so much.

,

Oh, goodness you are certainly not alone. :hug:

RawrGirl is all too familiar with those feelings. But it is alot easier to share them anonymously, as on an online forum, than in person.



RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

What kind of cardio do you do? And for how long?

RawrGirl also does not weigh her self daily. She used to -- and it was a very hard habbit to break -- but now she weighs herself monthy. It's much more rewarding. She does however take her measurements every week. There is usually a drop somewhere -- waist, hip, thing, arm (sometimes a little everywhere) and that let's her know her eating/exercise is working and keeps her motivated. But this way, when she does get on the scale, it's a 8-10 drop difference. Seeing only 1-2 pounds a week is just far too discouraging to keep going, and often leads to ordering pizza.

RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

Kelly, is there an exercise you enjoy? Or think you could enjoy? Rather than forcing yourself to exercise to a workout DVD or run around the block for several miles, is there anything active you enjoy? Like tennis (even hitting the ball against an empty wall by yourself), or some sort of dance? There's so many dance DVD's you can do privately, Bollywood, Bellydance, etc.

RawrGirl is partial to Bellydance. There are millions of Bellydance DVD's, and she is not referring to "Bellydance Cardio/Workout" DVD's. She means DVD's that are specifically teaching you how to really bellydance. RawrGirl does them in the privacy of her own home when no one is around, then after she learns enough movies to perform a whole song, she performs for Prince Charming on date night. So you could do that, with the motivation to keep at it and eat well, to confidently wear an inexpensive costume and surprise your other half one night with a performance when you reach goal...or even before that as your confidence levels in both your body and your ability rise.

You don't even have to buy a video at first. There are so many available on youtube that you can check out to see if it is something you would enjoy. RawrGirl's favorite is Tiazza -- she posts hundreds of videos on her website at http://www.freebellydanceclasses.com/. And she lists them as beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Plus, you can buy a top and hip scarf for as little as $15 -- RawrGirl pairs them up with a pair of comfy yoga pants. It NEVER feels like exercise, and is quite fun.

Of course, RawrGirl has not done this habitually since February (she performed a dance for Prince Charming last Valentines Day) and naturally that was when she started gaining weight. *sigh* But all this talk of it has reminded her how much fun it was. Hopefully she will get back into it now. :)

Point is, if you found an "exercise" you loved, it alone may inspire you to eat better or say no to seconds, since you are now looking at your body for what it can do, not just how it looks.

RawrGirl's WeightLoss Diary: http://rawrgirlsweightlossdiary.blogspot.com/

Hey RawrGirl, I used to go to the gym and do the standard treadmill/eliptical...but now to save money I work out at home. I own a spinning bike and a rebounder (mini-trampoline). On weight training days, I do 20 minutes spinning, 20 minutes jogging on the rebounder. On non-weight days, I do 40 minutes on each. I used to just do 30 mins on weight days, 60 minutes non-weight days, but I challenged myself this week to add another 10 minutes/20 minutes.

PS: you "speak" in the third person, it's hard to get used to! :)

I used to do some belly dancing too. I found some belly dance workouts on YouTube that were fun, they really worked the core.

I always found it easier to be honest when I'm more anonymous. I can say anything here and not feel shame at all. Well, I am ashamed that I regained so much weight this year, but the pity party is now over and I'm working on it. I felt very unsexy when I was obese, to the point where I refused to date until I hit my target weight, that kept me alone for far too many years, but that's in the past. Let's focus on NOW. :)

WOW -- you are excercise goddess!

RawrGirl is obsessed with Hercule Poirot. :D

LOL....a good obsession!

You are never alone, but I felt the same way until I came across this website... it is great...

I haven't really found something that I like other then going for a walk.... I did enjoy the national body challenge with Gilad, but they discontinued that program, however, no that you say it they do still have the videos on youtube. You might have just inspired me... I am tired of this body, I am going to tell you an embarrassing story, I was in my CPR class this afternoon and it hurt to even kneel down that is how sad my weight has gotten.

I am curious Chardonnay where you got your weight scale at the end of your name or signature?

I honestly don't remember. I set it up in February, but I've been away for so long. I know it was from the 3 fat chicks web site somewhere, so maybe do a search for weight trackers or weight tickers and you'll find out the instructions on how to get it? I manage to change it in the HTML section of my signature, but otherwise, I can't find the original link.