I'm back again, which is good and bad.
 

I haven't been on here in over a year, but I'm back again. I tried to keep myself in line and live life without thinking of the consequences but unfortunately all that lead was my weight back down a very unhealthy road.

In 2012 I joined this forum and with the help, advice, and support of everywhere here I went from 370 pounds down to ( in my mind) a small 255. I was happier, healthier, and full of energy. I got back with my ex-husband and in the past year I have gained most of it back. I am at 317 pounds, give or take. I am depressed, and upset with myself for letting myself go again. So, I came back to the one place I found acceptance and understanding..

Me and my husband are once again separated, and I want to start growing to who I want to be rather then just waiting for him to accept me back. This time, it is on my own terms and I want to put myself before him. I want to get healthier, happier, and more beautiful.

I need help setting goals, and figuring out what my goal weight should be. I don't even know what my weight should be!

welcome back Fallen! I've been on this site since 2008 off and on, (i've forgotten my password to that account). i hear ya with the acceptance and motivation... this is what keeps me coming back to the forums. i don't get that in my social life, and here we have just an amazing community! you and i could learn a thing from one another, since i see you and i have some things in common. hope to see you in the other forums as well!

goals? for me it's hard to give advice to another person since every single person is different. but i can always tell you what i do, and you can choose to use bits and parts of that. for me i find mentally preparing myself and motivating myself is helping. keywords is preparing and motivating. that doesn't mean i am sitting here and just reading forums all day long - no, i am actually starting to introduce things into my eating habits that i did before. unfortunately my initial post got over looked in that department. BUT - i digress. let me go back to June of 2013. i was scheduling doctors appointments to get checked up (i haven't done it in years, i know, horrible Jac) but i took the first step and asked my doctor to refer me to a nutritionist. i met with a dietitian and an endocrinologist where i found out i had diabetes. my endocrinologist suggested weight loss surgery. wasn't gonna happen(if i'm going to do it, i'm going to do what i consider the real way. they gave me samples of a product called Victoza, and my dietitian put me on a Healthwise food program that had 5 phases. I was 335-330lbs at my highest. i was depressed. i felt like anywhere i went i got stares. i hated eating in front of anyone. it even got to the point where i would ask friends and family not to post photos of me, or tag me in them. i was soooo embarrassed of myself. after weeks (about 4 weeks) of doing the eating plan i had shed 30/35lbs!! I almost broke down in tears at the dietitians office! it was all low carb, high protein and 1000 calories a day. take what you will from that! :)

TL;DR?
I'm motivating myself and preparing myself for this program that I chose not to start until July 30th. I plan to do my old diet regimen coupled with Victoza. i have no idea what i currently weigh now.

HOLY MOLY i just gave you a long drawn out post. I am so sorry! LOL
WELCOME BACK once again! hope to see you around more often! :)