Hoping This Time I Mean It
 

I am not new to losing weight, the thrill of watching the pounds come off, and that successful feeling. However, I am not new to the gaining of weight either. I suffer from binge eating, which has destroyed my self confidence and is something that I hide from family and friends. Several years ago I lost almost 100 lbs on my own, no meds, just clean eating, and exercise. The weight came off quickly because I was almost 250 lbs. A couple years ago the losing slowed down, then I got discouraged, and have spent the last couple of years yo-yoing 15-20 pounds up and down. I have gotten as low as 147, and within a month or two my weight is back up.

This past month I went from 160, to 180. I have probably even gained a couple more pounds this week after binging all week and weekend. I have a serious problem. I am scared I will regain all of this weight, get back to 200 lbs or worse. I have had surgery, abdomanial surgery, after 5 years I had thought I had conqured this binge eating and reached my forever weight, I had a tummy tuck and 7 pounds of hanging skin removed. I loved how I looked, now I have begun eating and gaining.

I have spent all day today and yesterday eating garbage, hiding it, eating in my car. Yesterday it was 7 donuts several coffees, cookies, fries,and any thing I could find at home. No one knows I do this.

I picked up the 17 day diet at the library the other day, after looking for something to try after having done Atkins several times. I need to learn to eat correctly and get this addiction under control. I haven't tried this diet before but it seems to focus on whole foods, and portions..I think this is wear I need to focus. I noticed a thread here on this board when i googled 17 day diet. I am hoping I can learn a lot from others, get the support I need, and maybe give others support as well.

I need to conquer this addiction. It seems food is the one addiction I still have after quitting smoking several years ago. I have always had food issues and now at age 40 I don't want to think it will be this way the rest of my life.

:welcome:

May I suggest talking with a counselor about your binging. It will be easier to lose weight if you conquer your food addiction first.

:-)

Hi Mainecyn! :welcome3: I hope you've found the forum "Chicks in Control" as you were browsing around. You can probably get some good advice there. Also, the whole foods forum might be of help to you. You know, many people believe the best way to deal with problems is to face them head on. You keep your bingeing a secret. What would happen if you didn't? Might bringing it into the open help you to cope more effectively with it? I don't know. I'm just wondering. Good luck in your journey!

:wel3fc: I definitely understand the cycle of binge eating and weight loss/gain. There are a lot of people here struggling with the same thing, and who can certainly relate. Definitely feel free to reach out and read through the site -- it's a plethora of experiences and insights. We're here for you, and cheering you on! :cheer: You can do this! :hug:

Thank you for all the support and encouragement. Over the past few years I have seen Dr and joined groups trying to face this, been put on antidepressants, stimulants, topomax, and diet meds, also used tons of supplements, Ive posted my highest weight on the fridge as a deterrent, thrown out food, worn a rubber band I snapped each time I thought of eating, nothing worked for me except Atkins which I did cleanly for years and killed the addiction and lost weight, then for some reason I got to where I am now, not able to stay on the wagon so to speak. I am constantly thinking this is it, will get back to that good place this time with the diet and exercise I used to do religiously. Some of it started with a major car accident I had, surgery etc. The rest, is all me and poor choices. I have been looking around our area and cant find a therapist that deals mainly with food addict or binge eating. There are many that don't even understand binge eating as its not bulimia or anorexia. I will keep going, its the lack of resources here in my area and people that understand that has made me seek out online help in a group like this. Thank you all for the advice, going to check out the wholefood thread.