New and discouraged
 

Hey everyone!

As it says in my title, I'm new around here. I'm hoping that this forum will help propel me into getting back in to shape.

About 4 years ago, I had a pretty series health condition that forced on medication and ultimate that medication made me gain about 50-60 lbs. About 2 years ago, I lost half of it and managed to keep it off until recently.

A few months ago, I started dating someone who is very dedicated to working out and lifting. You would think that it would be motivating, but it has had the opposite effect on me. I find myself making worse food decisions and not going to the gym than I was before. It's almost like I know (or think) I can't be as dedicated as he is, so I don't even try.

I've managed to gain back nearly all of the weight I lost. I knew it was bad, but I got on the scale for the first time in about 2 months tonight and was pretty devastated to see just how much I have gained back.

So now, I'm feeling doubly discouraged- I can't "keep up" with my SO, and I almost feel like I can't ever lose the weight that I've gained so why even bother. I know that's not the right attitude to have, but I'm hoping to use the information here to change that attitude into something positive that I can work with.

Sorry for the negative post right off the bat, I promise I'm not usually like this. Just at the end of my rope :?:

First of all, welcome to the site!

Second, having a negative attitude to start won't necessarily preclude you from having success down the road. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. That being said, you don't need to "keep up" with your SO. Your routine could be totally different. I actually never have an exercise buddy because I'm so finicky about it. I need to trick myself into doing it, and having another person pressure me makes me rebel (stupid to rebel against myself, but I do it).

It's okay to feel discouraged, but also realize that you absolutely can get the weight off. Maybe start with small changes (stop drinking soda, do any kind of exercise a few days a week, etc.). If you aren't motivated by joining your SO, then don't. Start building on one or two things to boost your confidence.

And the best reason to lose weight or get in shape is for yourself. Nothing else is going to last long enough. I know it's cliche, but it's totally true. And as far as being at the end of your rope, it's something that happens to me relatively frequently. Just keep climbing back up. :)

Again, welcome! And good luck with everything!

The most important thing to remember is to not give up on yourself. I was on that path for a while and kept gaining weight, not caring and not having the incentive to make changes, until I realised that the only one I was hurting was myself. You can only want to do it for yourself. You already feel discouraged by thinking you can't keep up with SO, so maybe you need to find a workout that you feel good doing. Taking the first step is the hardest, but you'll be proud of yourself once you make the decision to do something about it. Good luck, you did it before, you can do it again!

You came here and that's a first great step. Give the rope a bit of slack and make a decision that you are going to get healthy. Lower your carbs and cut your portions and you'll see the weight fly off. Drink lots of liquids.

You do not have to keep up with anyone. This is not a race or a competition.

It's better to weigh yourself in the morning before eating. Wishing you the very best.

I just want to tell you that it's ok to feel discouraged. It's okay to be mad, to be mad at yourself, to feel disappointed that you're not at the same level as your SO. It's ok to feel that. I think it's so easy for us to assume we shouldn't have these negative feelings - we're always telling each other not to: "Don't be discouraged. Be positive!" But it's a form of denial. You are discouraged. That's the truth and anything else is a lie. You are mad - use that anger to your advantage. Make it work for you.

:hug:EmilieMarie,

First off, welcome to 3FC, and trust me, you are among friends who know what you are going through. Many of us have been discouraged and felt we couldn't keep up.

Just like Mazzy said above me, if you are feeling angry... make it work for you. But, to lie and say you aren't discourage is only discounting your true feelings. We are folks who encourage each other, but always to LISTEN to your stories- we are HERE for each other.

You did make a big step by sharing your story with us, and we are grateful. Anything we can do to encourage you in some small way- just ask. We are here.

:hug: MrsKevin