Hello all,

I am new to 3 Fat Chicks and I hope to get useful incite from this site. I am excited to join and hope you all achieve your goal weight too. I weighed myself today and the scale said 187 lbs. I'm really disgusted with myself because I let myself get this out of shape. I tend to be an emotional eater and binge eat when I am "having a moment." What really bothers me is my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years is super super skinny and tall (145-150ish pounds, 6'4). When I stand next to him I feel so BIG compared to him. I always have the fear that he will find someone that is more his size. He says that won't happen but it's always in the back of my mind. I'm just so tired of feeling like this. I can lose weight and I have before but I lack motivation big time and give up. I am trying to stick to a strict low calorie diet and not eat meat. I gave up meat for a year before and noticed it helps with losing weight and provides a healthier lifestyle. I study Forensics in school, so the thought of eating meat has really turned me off lol. I want to workout as much as I can but not over do it at the same time. It's just hard because I am taking 5 classes and working part-time. I just got a new job as a bank teller and I'm afraid the lack of movement will be even hard for me to lose weight. I'm also in the process of quitting smoking and it is extremely hard. My boyfriend smokes and it makes it hard for me because I am practically always around him. When he lights one up, it makes me go crazy and want one. I hope anyone reading this can help me stay positive and motivated. Thank you

Shannon

Welcome, Shannon! You have come to the right place for that support and motivation that you are searching for. The guys and gals here some of the strongest people I have ever "known." Going on a diet, taking that many classes, quitting smoking, starting a new job, boy you are overwhelmed. Maybe it would help to take a deep breathe and start with mini goals and add a new goal each week instead of trying to do it all at one time. Have you talked to your boyfriend about your desire to quit smoking and how his lighting up around you is affecting you? If not, maybe you need to. Don't go on too low of a calorie diet. It is unhealthy and my past experience has shown me that you will just gain the weight back plus some or the weight loss will stop if you crash diet. Instead I am trying to make lifestyle choices I can live with as that will be the only way I can keep the weight off. I hope you will jump in with both feet here as participation has helped me in the past to stay motivated. A strong support group is the keep to success IMHO. Welcome aboard and I look forward to following your success.

Hi Firegirl,

Thanks for replying You couldn't of said it any better. I am overwhelmed and I feel like I have been smoking more which makes me feel even more guilty. I have mentioned to my boyfriend a couple times that it is hard for me to quit when he continues to still do it. He wants to quit too but his mom smokes and he said it's hard for him to stop with her doing it around him. It's like a never ending cycle. I asked him recently to not do it around me and he has been good about it. So I guess we will see how it goes. You're right about making a lifestyle change instead of dieting. I get so antsy like everyone else and expect to see results in a week. I know it's not realistic and I need to accept that it is a long process. You have already given me motivation (seeing that you have lost over 20 pounds). That is great and I hope you continue to reach your goal weight!!!

Shannon

Welcome, and hang in there! It is a long process, one that really never stops, but every day you can have many victories because you have so many chances to make good choices for yourself and drop bad habits!

Celebrate all the little things, they COUNT and it is all the little things that add up over time to success!

You can do this!

Hi sburleson and welcome! I know much of what you're going through. I started my diet on March 11, 2013...the same day I quit smoking. I'm 55 and I smoked for over 40 years (and was up to 2 packs a day when I quit). I haven't had a cigarette since that day and I've now lost 42 lbs. I'm not saying that to beat my chest. I just hope that my success might motivate you. I feel and look 10 years younger, and this has definitely been a lifestyle change.

The one thing that helped in my case is reading a book by a fellow called Alan Carr, called "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking". It's a worldwide best-seller, so you should be able to find it at most bookstores. It's a quick read...took me about 5 or 6 hours. Carr is a terrible writer and keeps repeating himself, so you'll have to look past that part. But what he says makes so much sense. After reading it, I will never smoke again. Once I read the book, it also didn't bother me to refrain from smoking even though others were smoking around me. It's a little tough to explain what the book says, although it's not a bunch of scare tactics about your health. Carr was a long-time smoker and he speaks in ways that smokers can understand. I highly recommend it for both you and your boyfriend.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hi sburleson! You'll find lots of support here, so I'm glad you found us! Good luck!

Thank you everyone. It's good knowing there are others out there that can relate. It's hard talking to someone who doesn't have a weight problem. They can empathize with you but don't really get it deep down. Thank you Tuscany for the book recommendation! It sounds interesting that the author speaks as an ex-smoker. I will definitely look into it if it made a change for you. Great job with quitting!

I just want to say Welcome and best wishes!

Have you tried going to a dietitian, and having her work out a daily menu with you, using foods that YOU enjoy, and can live with for the rest of your life? Husband and I finally went to a dietitian, and that helped the most. Our eating issue and smoking, whatever, is a chronic illness, can't be solved quickly by barely eating anything, even if you lose some weight right off the bat...........it won't stay gone. We can commiserate with you, but motivation has to be grabbed right out of your own gut, in order for you to try as often as possible to make healthier choices. Don't believe any ads out there making it look like it's easy. One step at a time, and you can't be your boyfriend's mother, either. Do what you gotta do for yourself.

Welcome to the forum! I'm still figuring out this journey myself, so I'm afraid I don't have much useful insight.

But I WOULD like to say, I understand about smoking. I've been trying to cut back/quit myself, but my boyfriend is a smoker and it's super hard. I feel your pain!

Oh-- you'll be modivated, inspired and find yourself smiling alot at 3FC- share with us, and be prepared to be ENCOURAGED and UNDERSTOOD!

MrsKevin