21, ED, trying to recover
 

Hello :)

At the end of may I started restricting my calories... it got to the point where I was barely eating 200 calories in a day. I went from 150 to 124 at my lowest and then I got addicted to binge eating. Now I linger around 130-135, I am extremely disappointed in myself and I am trying to get out of this crazy downward spiral and do this the right way. I am tired of being sick. I just want to be normal and fit and sexy.

I was actually on a proana website... I grow tired of 90 pound girls crying about how fat they are and how they "binged" on 2 chocolate chip cookies. It's very triggering for me. I need to be around people who aren't going to make me feel bad for eating a chef salad for lunch and a full chicken breast for dinner or... *gasp* a banana!

I am 5'5" I want to be 116, but **** I don't really care how much I weigh as long as I tone up and get rid of my flab. I will no longer weigh daily, rather weekly. I will gym at least 4 times a week, I will not abuse laxatives, I will not binge. I will not restrict too low. I will burn at least 600 cals at the gym.

I am currently trying to set up a meeting with the personal trainer at the gym to come up with a calorie plan for me and a healthy diet plan. Until he gets back to me I will just try to eat healthy, snack lightly and just... fight the binge!


Cookies are my downfall @__@


Anyway i've babbled too much. I am ixi, hello lovely gals ;)

Welcome Ixi!!! :welcome2:

It sounds like you have a great plan set for yourself, kudos!! Always remember to take it one day at a time...it's important to create a lifestyle you can live with :) Don't let bumps in the road get you down, either...if you make a mistake, accept that it happened and keep moving forward! You can do this, you are worth it!! :hug:

PS Cookies used to be my downfall...now I find that bananas are more tasty lol!