Why do I do this to myself?
 

Here's a little bit about me:

Starting in grade 3 or 4 I started gaining weight. I was always pretty big until a couple of years ago. I decided to join Herbal Magic and lost 20 pounds with their help. But then, starting last September I started binge eating (to the point where I feel physically ill) and I gained back all the weight I lost and then some. I know what I need to do to lose weight, but I just can't seem to stop myself from eating bad food and eating a lot (I can usually eat clean and right for 5 days and then I eat really badly for 2-3 days). I'll do really well for a few days but then I do something to ruin all my hard work. I want to do this right once and for all. My goal is to get in the best shape I can possibly be in because I want to do triathlons and look really good (particularly by August because that's when I'm going back home to see friends and family and I want to wow them).

If there's anyone who feels like getting in touch with me and giving some support (and who also wants some support) I would be so happy!

Thanks :) And stay awesome!

Laura :)

Laura,

Glad to have you join us. Welcome!! Keep your chin up. If you keep reading and participating here, you will find the motivation to quit that binge eating. I was on another weight loss forum back in 2006 and had the same issues you are facing, but with the gals on that forum's support, I managed to lose 86 lbs in 9 months. Best of wishes to you,

Oh Laura, while reading your story I felt like I had written it myself, wow, really, I do the same exact thing you do, and I really feel ashamed, helpless and with 0 confidence, it`s a terrible cycle and I`m too trying to overcome it!
I wish you all the luck and next time you feel like falling off the wagon and binge eating feel free to message me!!!!
We can do it!!!

I've found that having a tiny treat everyday keeps me from giving inafter a few days.

I take 10g 70% cote d'or dark chocolate, that i break in 6small pieces, that i let melt, one by one, on my tongue. After that i feel like i've just had a feast :-).

Xxx

Firegirl,
Thank you! I'm really happy I found this forum. I felt sort of ridiculous gaining one, but I realized that something I was missing the support group that I had when I was with Herbal Magic (and someone to keep me accountable). Also, keep up with your good work! You're almost there!

Hey fiftyfive!

Thanks for your confidence! I know you can do it too! I know we both can! Some people think overeating sounds ridiculous but it truly is an awful thing. I will definitely message you the next time I'm having a hard time, and I want you to feel that you can do the same! We're here for each other :)

Hey Lumia,

I try and do that, and I do find that having a little treat does help me, but I get into this mindset that "Oh, I had a little bit, a little more won't hurt me" and then I just end up eating a lot more then I want to. I'll try and be more disciplined about it, I can't live without chocolate :) I usually get the chocolate bars from Theobroma, they're so good and they come in single serving (180 calories).

Clean out your fridge. Get rid of anything you might binge on. You might also want to consider a low carb diet. It helps to keep the binging urges under control. Exercise. Same reason. You need to learn portion control. So, either prepare your food for the week and portion it, or use a diet that makes that decision for you. Medifast, IP, or similar. Something that brings structure into your eating.

:wel3fc:

Try not to think of a bad day as failing your weight loss plan. Think of it more that you had a bad day, but it's not going to stop me from getting to my goal. Losing weight and keeping it off is a lifetime commitment and there are bound to be times where you gain weight. Even when you get to your goal weight, there may be times where you gain 10 lbs in a week. That's okay, because you know you'll work to get it back down :)

You'll do great this time around! If you feel yourself slipping, don't hesitate to post on the forum! We'll help you out :)

:goodluck:

:welcome:

Laura,

I feel your pain...self sabotage is also a bad habit of mine.....i always tell myself I have to get to the root of it...where is it coming from? I think at the end of the day it comes down to treating ourselves like we are the "true loves" of our lives.How would we want the love of our lives to treat us? To adore us delicately, to uplift us, to smile at us at tell us how beautiful we are. Well, I'm realizing that how can i get someone else to see me that way if I do not see myself that way. So this week, I'm saying one positive affirmation to myself every morning when I wake up. I'm also keeping a gratitude journal to say what I'm thankful for each day...we have to start somewhere...right...:)...stay amazing...

Aww thanks guys! You're all such an inspiration! I'm starting to learn the things that work for me and what doesn't. I really like your idea, empresslotus, about saying one thing that I'm grateful about myself for each day. I suffered depression for a while and I'm just recently starting to be more positive about everything :) I also am so happy that you guys wrote these things tonight, because I was starting to think "what's the point", I'm never going to lose the weight, but you know what, because of you beautiful people, I KNOW I CAN AND I WILL. :) I'm already off to a good start, food wise and I went to yoga tonight! So I feel gooooooos! Hope you're all having a good night too :)!

Welcome!

Welcome and good luck on your journey!!

I felt like I was reading a post I wrote about myself. I really feel like I need a better support system to et myself back on track and not fall off. We should get in touch and partner up!

Karen