Hello everyone!

I want to lose weight every time I see myself. I am really unhappy. I know I must exercise and eat healthy. I even have a mom who is a gym instructor. If I really need diet or exercise knowledge, I can ask her. But I am embarrassed to ask her for emotional support, since she is not very sensitive emotionally.

I've tried weight loss before, I got up early to exercise(which works for me because I am an early bird) and ate healthy. But for various reasons, I lost focus and before I knew it, I was back in my unhealthy eating habits and stopped exercising.

In my new attempt, I joined this forum in hopes that if I keep checking back, I will not lose focus like last time.

What I ask of ya'll, is the emotional support that I can't get from the people in my life right now. I would also like to hear any tips ya'll have to help me not lose focus. I would especially like a pen pal sort of person who will exchange stories with me and share experiences while I go on my journey to be healthy.

Unique...studies have shown that it takes 60 to 90 days for a new habit to become 'normal'. And those who try to tackle multiple habits at a time are much more likely to fail. So don't beat yourself up. Try the change in smaller chunks this time.

There are several stages to habit formation (Paraphrasing here, but you get the gist):

1. I don't know what I don't know (ignorance is bliss)
2. I know but I can't/won't take steps to address the issue
3. I have started a plan to change it (awkwardness ensues)
4. I have to plan/schedule the change to occur, skipping/slipping occurs a lot.
5. Hmm...begin to subconsiously want to do the change. Begin scheduling other things around the change. Slippage is less common
6. The change is now a pretty normal route. Slippage not routine
7. Can't imagine my life without this routine.

So...what is the one trait you want to focus on first, healthy eating or exercising? If you start with that..and focus on it (and provide plenty of non-food rewards for sticking with the plan) for at least 30 days (or until you hit stage 5 or 6)....then add on another.

Good luck!

hi there! (: i'm new to the forum too, and just seriously started my weight loss regime. i know it can be hard to keep going, but the good news is that unlike your previous attempts, you're here and asking for help so that's definitely a win. i can't count the number of times i've tried to lose weight, only to give up 3 weeks later because a blister formed on my toe, i got a new job, i didn't have the time, etc. i lose motivation pretty easily, so i joined this forum for kinda the same reasons that you did.

i would love to be your online exercise buddy, so just drop me a PM whenever so we can swap tales and grumbles. (:

* building on the really good advice that Techie gave, i fully agree that you should take it slow at the beginning. it's important that you do something which you can see yourself sustaining over a long period of time. a mistake i made in the past was to go from no exercise at all to an hour on the treadmill each day. i reached burn-out by the end of my 3rd week. this time, i started slow, 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer daily for about a month. now that i've built up my physical and mental stamina, i've joined a gym and started doing more cardio and strength workouts to supplement my elliptical training. i'm also starting to make little changes to my diet, but i do reward myself once a week where i get to eat something sinful like ice cream or pizza.

It's rough when people who are important in our lives aren't "there for us" the way we feel we need them to be. My mom is (excuse me, WAS) like that, too. I attribute that to the way she was raised (her mom wasn't supportive either) & the fact that she had 7 of us kids. To be honest, my 2 older sisters were really, really needy & made NO bones about it. They now hold it against her, which is soooo wrong.

My dad was really the supportive one for me, but he passed away in April 2000. I miss him when I need someone to ask me how my journey is going, how far I'm walking or if I need a new hole punched in my belt. It was the little things that really helped me along the way.

You can do this!

Maybe at some time when all is quiet & it is just the 2 of you maybe just maybe you can approach her with the subject. I don't know what your relationship is like, but maybe she can try to give you what you need. I know that it took a long time for my mom to come around to helping me in the way I need. It took her years & years to know that mentioning my weight & giving me literature was not the way to reach me. That just listening & being there was what I really wanted/needed.

Perhaps before you talk to her you have a few ideas of what you'd like from her, even if it's just an encouraging word. Parents, just like all other human beings, are not mind-readers. They don't know what would help their children, simply because we do not come with an instruction manual. Also there comes a time when we "children" need to be able to talk to our parents as "real people"/"adults"...with respect for being our parent but also as just another adult. Remember...they were once your age...even if it was nearly 40 years ago like in my Mom's case.

I wish you well. Let us know how things are going. If you have any questions about relating to Mom, let me know. I've been there & more than willing to help. Just ask!

Everyone, thanks for the support and tips. It really means a lot to me.

Techie: That is some great advice. I will try to take it slower this time. I will probably focus on exercise first, since I haven't had any lately.

Bunny: I would love to share support with you, feel free to send me a message any time. I can't see any contact information in your profile, so I will leave it to you.

MsTrying: Thanks for the support! I know my mom loves me and wants to support me in everything I do. I might bring it up to her like you suggested once I'm further into my new routine. Now is definitely not the time since she is going through her second divorce(the first was with my dad).

hi there hon, i can't find your contact information either. :c i think it's because we haven't hit our minimum post count yet. i've added you to my buddy list though! (: i'll see you around the forum for now!

I'm going to second everything MrsTryingAgain said. She said it way better than I could have, anyway.

Welcome to 3FC, and I hope you are able to find the support you need here. Feel free to PM me anytime