Welcome back! don't be so hard on yourself, You've caught yourself and are back on track. I can definitely relate. I lost about 40 pounds 5 years ago, and gained it all PLUS 20 on top of that. then last year I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. and I'm currently down 80 pounds. weight loss is hard! it is so EASY to gain weight back. I've accepted that it is going to be a constant struggle for me.
anyway, I'm rambling. welcome back again. You've done this once, you can do it again