Hi,

I am excited to be part of an online community again, and I hope this will work for me.

I am five foot eight with a medium build and I have always had a good appetite. I range in sizes from an 8 to a 14, usually with a 14 at the end of winter. At one point in my life, I lost 35 pounds. It took me two years and was extremely difficult and I don't want to have to do that again.

I've done a good job of losing ten here, fifteen there for the last few years, and I am not afraid to get back into a more healthy lifestyle with eating that is in control. But it's really hard, and a lot of the time, I feel like I don't have time to eat healthily.

My other main problem areas are emotional and compulsive eating. I have noticed that at staff lunches where there is free food that I take sometimes more than twice the amount of food others take. I will eat five pieces of a pizza, for example, when everyone else is eating three. There is also food at my grad school.

I eat when I am bored or emotional, but it is also hard when I have to constantly be around junk food, like Reece's PB cups and chocolate bars. I know there is going to be a lot more temptation around the holidays too, which are coming up.

Sometimes when I know there is chocolate, it is almost like I CAN'T not eat it. I feel like I can't say no to it and the thought bugs me until I eat it, but then I feel guilty afterward. Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like people know how much I am eating and that they are watching me. I feel like I don't have any self-control and will sometimes call myself names or feel really ashamed about it. Which forum might be best for that? I want to to know what other people have to say.

On the other hand, I cook pretty good meals for myself where I try to use vegetables, and I love fruit, so I eat two pieces a day.

I love biking and am joining a gym, so I am hoping to get started on an exercise goal as well. I feel like I am in pretty good shape overall; I'm just trying to head things off before the winter hits this year, since my weight is up.

I tried to lose this weight all last summer, but I was so busy. I have a little more time now and I am excited!

Ferny
172 pds currently * goal 160 (haven't decided yet)

Hi and welcome! The binge eating thing is discussed over in chicks in control. But I am more than happy to tell you that I too have dealt with this exact thing. When I started working at my current job, there was always food. So I got up to over 200 pounds easily because I couldn't not eat the food. I felt guilty when I did, and guilty when I didn't. I have always struggled with overeating and binging. I have been doing well this time around because I try to stop and talk to myself before I eat something. I have to tell myself that I will not be happy if I eat whatever it is, and I make myself think long and hard before eating it. If I can not eat it to begin with, I can usually resist. But one bite and I slide down hard on my big fat butt. I truly believe I have addictive tendencies with food. I could not walk past the ever present chocolate at work. So know you are not alone in this. You will find lots of support here. So get started and don't stop. Because the only way to fail is to quit!

I feel a little better already. It is an awkward subject to talk about, so I haven't really talked a lot about it with people.

Just want to add my

Welcome, Ferny1730! You described how I feel at work to a T! It took me a while to finally be able to control myself around the food here. We're always having potlucks and office luncheons and it's not like I can't go. And when I do, I'm always the one who's eating at least twice as much as everyone else. I used to stack my pizza slices on top of each other to make it look like I only had two on my plate instead of four! And even though there were people all around me, I'd eat it as fast as I could (and I am the fastest eater I know) and go back for another. So in what length of time my coworker would eat two slices, I'd be on my 5th. Now I pack my lunch every day and only eat what I brought. I can't believe it's actually working for me, but it is. It sounds like you're off to a great start; you already eat fruits and veggies and you're going to a gym. Just keep it up and you'll be there in no time!