juggling studies and weight loss!!!!
 

hi everyone,
im a 27 yr old, desperate to lose around 106 lbs.... ive been over weight all my life, with the usual yo yo diets and weight getting to as low as 125 lbs and as high as 242 lbs....now at 237 lbs, i feel i've lost my will power,, you see, im a foodaholic ,, food is what defines me, makes me happy, takes the pressure off a long, hectic day,,, after my Masters i worked as a high school teacher for five years, and now im back to college again, studying for my M.Phil which is tough tough work!!! im sitting all day reading or writing,, lots of research and the works,,, and for the past 4 months ive gotten into a rut,,, eat healthy for 10 days, lose around 4-5 lbs and go back to eating junk food and so on,,,, im really desperate now and always on the verge of tears,, i have clothes hanging in my cupboards worth thousands and they still have tags on them because i dont feel confident enough to wear them,,, my brother in law is getting engaged to my cousin and i know im going to look fat and horrible at the engagement pary :'( i have so much pressure from college, that i just keep ordering food and eating junk, and i know that this needs to stop and i need to lose weight,,, i dont know what to do,,, im soooooo depressed,,,, my husband is supportive but there isnt much he can do....

Ok, take a deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath!

I know what it is like, I was doing my masters plus working a full time job when I was at my highest ever and I thought, no way in heck will I ever be able to lose this. But I did. Small changes in my every day life (walk one bus stop further, take the stairs instead of the lift once, then twice a day, then all of them) and tweaks to my diet (packed low cal lunches, lots of precut carrots and cucumber and apples as snacks, bring no money along so I would not be able to buy any other snacks). And then, only after I lost like 20 pounds I started exercising, first very little, 20 minutes in my lunch break or 20 minutes after uni but before work, etc...

This time I am doing it differently, I am only working now, and while that is still the odd 50plus hours per week, I can manage to get 6-10 hours of solid exercise in. I am losing just as slowly this time around, by the way, I just started a lot fitter!

And if I said i don't think about food all the time I would be lying. I love food, the smell, the texture, the look and of course the taste. I plan my meals and then fantasise with it all day long, I wake up thinking of what I will have for lunch, for dinner, for snacks, I make lists fir the day, the week, the weekend... especially in the beginning. But as long as I just plan it and replan it, there is nothing wrong with that, in fact it helped me, because that way I stay on track more. It is probably not all that healthy (obsessive much?), but it gets better and at some point it isn't all consuming any more. You just have to get through the tough bits first, unfortunately.

You can't be thin today, but you can be a day closer to it, today!
All the best, Mila

thanks gyMila!! thank you for the encouraging words... after taking a deep breath :) and really thinking it through, ive decided im going to do it this time InshaAllah!!! began my healthy eating yesterday,,,, will be updating my progress soon!!!!