Haha, sorry about above, just needed to get yalls attention

Hey you

They call me Alyssa! For the reason it's printed on my birth certificate

I'm a younging who loves to read Shakespear, loves derby (well watching, skatings slightly dangerous to me,) a talkitive introvert, hates makeup, is growing out the pixie cut, cant live without the coffee, wears mint perfume, draws, bangs that volleyball around the court, and I sold my soul to reddit (Please, if you know when the narwhal bacon's.. contact me imediatly )

I have a loving female parental unit, she's possibly the most perfect mother ever, and I know evreyone appreciates her as much as I do! 2 LOVING fathers, who are there for me always. A beautiful, viberent, and charming little sister, and my boyfriend of about 10 months (Here the sterotypical girl coming) who is like a nokia.. ALWAYS reliable! Not only is he my love intrest, but the bestfriend, the wise uncle, and the batman in the comic book I call my life Love him like the foo fighters love making music videos

This September I'm blowing out 16 candles on this years birthday cake, and giving myself the gift of the body I've been trying for on and off for forever now

I have a love/hate thing going on with the food.. When I'm dieting I'm WAY overbored. Like, normally its 3 hours of cardio with <800 cal (AT THE MOST.) Now hear that this normally goes on for about a month, when suddenly, I find myself looking in the mirror getting bigger as I watch.. then comes the falling off the wagon.

That loud thumb normallys got me sitting on my butt, eating 3000 cal+. Evreyday. The whole time I'm not dieting. This means, I lose the same 15 in the summer, come back, fall off, end up gaining it all back (plus 2/3)

When I first started the yoyoing, I was about 12 (full grown, early puberty.) Now, at the time, I thought being 124 was fat. I'm a very bootay licious girly, and theres always been the coment "dang girl, flat till you get to the behind... then BAM!" I dont know if people think thats a compliment, and it might be if I had boobs. But sadly I'm also pear shaped. Anyway, that first diet brought be down, and up, and then went back down and up, till now when I look down at the scale and see... 140!!! There was a time I was so lost I swore I would KILL myself if I ever got this high. Now being I'm not as shallow as I once was, I'm tired of abusing my body. I mean it. Its been a long time since I was comfy in my own skin.. so I'm gonna give it my all this time around

So I sat and I thought.. what has always been my biggest issue... and I'm so scared to fail, and have evreyone think badly of me afterwards.. I've almost never told anyone. Plus those I have told go "Oh, but you dont need to lose weight!!" Yes I'm in the "normal" range.. but I've also been PIGGING out constantly. Once I eat like, 2000 cal for a few days, I lose 5 pounds right off the bat.. So I figure 120 is in the normal range, and it will give me the confidence to live my life in the full. Sept. 3rd is the deadline.. and I'm ready to roll (well, I've been rolling.. but been pretty bad lately)
Here I come leather leggings!!
And comic con

Opps.. this has been pretty long.. I warned you I was a bit talkative.. but I feel like I said evreything I needed too

Hope that others are willing to help me through my journey.. And hope to be there for you when you need support

-Cheers!!♪

At the risk of sounding way too old for you to realte, I will say - I've been there, and I know how you feel...

Now, I'm actually not that old... I'm 27, which could sound old to you (it's all about perspective), but you'll be there sooner than you think

Anyway, let me tell you that I was exactly your age when I started dieting. I remember the day that I got on the scale and saw 125lbs, and thought "OMG! I can't believe it! I HAVE to get down to 120, better make it 115." And with that I started the cycle of dieting and losing weight and gaining weight.

Good News/Bad News;

Good news is that becasue of your age, you probably don't have to worry about the "losing" part so much. If you just eat normally (stick to natural foods, with a desert every few days), you'll probably go down to the weight you want to be at without much difficulty.

Bad news, is that if you are in a habbit of "binge" eating, which is consuming a high number calories at one meal, these habbits get worse with age... They don't just go away - you actually need to change them. The binging/dieting cycle - "I'll just eat this now and be a perfect dieter tomorrow" - it never ends. Tomorrow never comes... BELIEVE ME

When I was your age and thought that dieting was the answer, I never imagiined that tomorrow can turn into years!!! I never thought that at 27 I'm be batteling some of the same issues. I actually lost all the excess weight at 23 and thought I did it! But I didn't change my mindset or my eating habbits at the core of it (I was still dieting and "falling off the wagon" then dieting again), and within a year I gained it all back, and within two years gained more than I weighed before.

You actually know this already because you said you first started dieting at 12... Just like these past few years got away from you, while you stayed in that same cycle, it will stay that way through your teen years, and your college years and then your twenties... It will always be like these last three years for you, only worse as habbits tend to get worse with time, UNLESS and UNTIL you stop the cycle.

Stopping the cycle has nothing to do with finding the right diet. Stopping the cycle means never, ever, dieting again. You should eat normal meals with carbs and protien and veggies. You should have desert. You should have an occassional soft drink... The point is to never say that today will be a BAD day but tomorrow (or Monday, or next month) I'll eat clean (or start that diet). All my friends who are skinny, and have stayed skinny since their late teens, ALL of them without exception eat pastries and ice cream and pasta, and white bread... I don't have a single skinny friend who is a dieter - not one (and I have a lot of skinny friends). They just NEVER eat all of the "bad" foods all at once or in large quantities.

I cannot say this enough... I know that 140 sounds like a lot, and I'm not even going to talk you out of wanting to lose a couple of pounds if that is what would make you happy, but the goal for you should probably be to do it by NOT binging, and through activity (you don't need to become a jock ).

There is a good book out there by Portia DeRossi (don't know how to spell it) called Unbearable Lightness. You should definitely read that book. It's about eating disorders (I'm NOT saying you have one, it's just a great book for anyone who has any kind of a love/hate thing going with food), read it to the end, and I think you might have a better idea of what I am talking about.

I'm really pulling for you! I think you are in a good place right now. You have everything you need in your hands to turn things around for yourself and never have to deal with "weight" issues for the rest of your life. So please give some thoughts to what I am saying and all the best to you!!!

Now who's the talker

Thank you so much for all this fantastic advice!!

Its so nice to have someone a little bit wiser (dont worry, I still find 27 years young ) who is goning through the same thing as me on my side Thank you so much for taking the time to give me an earful right back! haha

I loved hearing about your story, love its pure honesty. Really showed me that the cycle needs to stop. The book sounds interesting, I want to be a phycoligist and adore books like these! Will be checking it out asap.

The "stop binging" is my new main goal, I do better if I go on the extreme side, but when I fall off the wagon, I go way to extreme on the other side of the fence. Right now I'm trying to not diet, but not eat just to eat either. Which will be hard, I even rember doing it as a little kid, but others have made it through so why not us too! I know it might take a while, but the weight will eventually follow afterwards, and once im in control, might even see about a slow diet, but now I'm thinking 120 might be a little out there, its not about the number, its about the feel

You really gave me the final push to change my perspective on this whole weight loss! Didnt know I would get the support I needed so fast!

Well, thank you so much once again for all the advice!! Helped bunches! I hope we can both start a more healthy relationship with eating, and live our lives to the fullest!
-Cheers and good luck doll , and message me if you need anything! I heard I give halmark worthy pep talks♥

It kinda ruins the "Narwhals bacon at midnight" if you preface it by saying you go on reddit I go on occasionally and lurk, but generally I stick to imgur. Hitting the right arrow is simpler than scrolling and looking for non-purple links. r/corgi is my poison of choice when I'm having a bad day.

In any case, at least your issue seems to be quite clear, which makes it easier to find a solution. Not simpler to change, mind you (that's going to still take a lot of effort), but your solution is simple...you definitely need moderation in your life.

At under 800 calories a day you're A) not giving yourself enough to live on, particularly at your height...so you're inadvertently thrusting yourself into a starvation mode where your body desperately clings to anything you give it and B) PROBABLY going to be pretty miserable...I'll occasionally have one meal that amounts to 800 calories. It's certainly not healthy to be exercising on that much, and you increase your risk of injury by doing so.

On the other hand, binge eating will make you gain weight...pretty much regardless of the circumstance. If 2000 calories seems to work for you (which seems pretty reasonable if you're so active and tall), stick with that. Try writing everything you eat down so that you can plan your day accordingly. You might even want to mosey on over to myfitnesspal.com , which will make it super easy to count your calories and log your exercise for the day. It will also re-assess how many you need based on your weight, height, and weight loss goals way more accurately than I can when you sign up.

...back to taking random things from your post: COMIC CON. *Swoons* I've never been. I want to so badly...I"ve only been to smaller cons in the Northeast...do you cosplay?

You're really interesting Alyssa! Really enjoyed reading your intro, you're an interesting mix of hip and old soul.

Good luck with the weight loss! I don't have much advice for you because though a seasoned dieter, I'm pretty new to this whole loose weight and keep it off thing. But the next time you go off plan condition your mind to consider it a temporary thing and not a ticket to remain off plan for the next week/ month etc. And never give up.

Hotaruchan- I'm proud to be a redditor, just wanted to make sure that those who knew what reddit was were true redditors Im more of a lurker myself And yes, Imgur is the best!! But amen to more moderation.. kinda just sticking to maintianing withuot binging for a few weeks, I have tryouts next monday, so I cant really cut calories right now anyway.. but hey once I get that under control I can start my decent I loved your advice, and I've checked out my fitness pal and love it!!
Now to the comic con part.. I'm a total comic con noob. Like for real. I moved aroud a lot, and when I finally settled down it was to a town of 5,000 in no were missouri.. but just moved agian to St. Louis, so I'm going to take advantage of all nerdy events I can!! (same with cosplay) You must tell me what the smaller cons are like! And do you cosplay?

CarryOnLosing- Thank you so much for the encouragment and stick with it tips... I hope you have a good trip yourself, and good luck