[MissViolet]

Hi, you can all call me MissViolet.

I am 20 years old 5'0 tall and have struggled with my weight for my whole life! When i was little i was a chubby kid, i use to get made fun of in elementary school i remember i would tell the teachers and sit by myself and cry. As i got older about 13 years old my mother would always tell me i was chubby and needed to work out,so i did but it was never enough for her she was always on my back that im not skinny enough. I got to a point where i was eating under 600 calories a day*even though thats not a way to lose weight i was convinced it was* and working out for 1-2 hours every day. I was a size 4 and 115 pounds and i stayed that way till i was 16 again with my mothers constant nagging that im too fat *probably because she has weight issues herself*.

When i hit 16 i met my boyfriend that i have till this day but my life took a turn for the worst,i started to get depressed and i started to gain some weight,i didnt even notice i gained anything till i gained about 15 pounds.

When i turned 17 my depression got really bad to a point where i stopped going to school and gained 70 pounds in only a couple months.

When i turned 18 i went to see a doctor she put me on anti depressants,i got kicked out of my house,i lost every single friend i had and now weighed 200 pounds.

Now i am 20 years old,still struggling with my depression and hit 210 about 6 months ago and i stayed there.

I bought these weight loss tapes, the biggest loser ones. I also use an exercise bike. I cant afford a fancy diet so all i try to do is eat as healthy as i can and eat smaller portions but im not losing much weight,i am now down the 196 but my weight just keeps going up and down randomly every few weeks from 196-198.

I dont have a great big support system which is why i signed up to these forums.Iv lurked around on this site for a few months and finally decided i keep coming back for a reason,i should stop being such a scaredy cat and join!

Iv tried lots of things to lose weight,
-I bought a 400 dollar gym membership that i used TWICE and it ran out
-Iv starved myself
-Took capsules my mom gave me telling me it would make me lose weight.
-I tried turbo jam

I am tired of being fat. I am tired of going out and feeling like all eyes are on me,and have the occasional barbie doll look at me and snicker. Im tried of going groceries shopping for 40 minutes,coming home and my feet KILL me. Im tired of always being achey and my knees KILL me.Im embarrassed to leave the house anymore,Im embarrassed of myself and i hate myself and im only 20,my life is just beginning and this is not the way i want it to start!

I realize now that I will never be able to lose weight with such negativity in my life and no support.Also that i need to do it the healthy way.

Thanks for listening to my storyIm excited to join your community!

[savetheb]

You can do it! Dont give up! Be smart about it though and dont be so hard on yourself. It's okay that you're flawed. We all are. Don't beat yourself up over it though. It's good that you recognize that there's something you want to change about yourself, but obsessing over it will just make you disappointed with yourself even more, and that's the wrong way to do it I think. Encourage yourself. Congratulate yourself on your progress so far. It's a lot of work to even lose 5 lbs.

[Davikatl16]

Welcome, welcome, welcome!! The first step is joining up! I was in a slightly (very slightly) similar situation back in middle school (I was very depressed, but did not do the extreme dieting). May I suggest a pedometer and walking? I found that it helped me start up being more active. Try making a commitment to go for a walk 10 minutes a day or something simple like that. After a week or two, up the ante a bit and keep going from there Either way, you can do it!

[niquebrz77]

Hi Miss Violet!

Welcome! I am new to this forum as well and have almost no support system in "real life". It's good to have a place to vent...

Depression does make things a lot worse, but you can do it! Try small goals, one step at a time. Walk for 10-15 minutes every day in the first week or so, than try to increase the amount of time slowly. Put some energizing music on and let go! (it usually helps me to focus on good things while I am walking)

With regards to the lack of money for a diet, I suggest you to pay attention to the size portions. If you eat half size of each portion you are used to eating, it might work very well. In addition to that, you could slowly introduce more fruits and veggies to your daily life. And water - drink lots of water!

You can do it, girl! Don't give up! We are all on the same boat...

Best of luck,
-Nique

[Kl33476]

Welcome! I'm new to this site too I know that it's really hard for me to be so focused on the scale and see it fluctuate lbs every week. It drives you crazy! I've done work out videos and stuff and they are great exercise, but just remember to find something that you ENJOY doing! Are you in school? For me, finding a workout buddy was the BEST thing ever. Good luck!

[islandchick1]

and hello Miss Violet!
You will find LOTS of support and encouragement here!
Post often

~Blessings~

[NatesMommy1991]

I am in the same boat kinda. I'm 20 I have struggled with Post Partum and I have no support for weight loss. At the moment I am almost 200 pounds and I used to be 120 I am at a standstill I don't know how to start a diet to stick to one and to succeed And stampede is almost here ahhh (I live in Calgary)

[VickyK]

Yay, welcome!

And.. if I may start proposing a life altering solution.. grocery home delivery!!!

Changed my world, I'm never going to the store again LOL

Safeway and Vons (depending on where you live) both do it. If you have any one of these semi close by, it costs next to nothing to get all your stuff delivered to your home (and first one if entirely free). They even carry stuff in for you

[Melonlefey]

Man, do I know what its like to have a mother like that But its great that you've finally committed yourself to losing weight. The first thing I'll say (which is something I always mention) is that you don't have to exercise to lose weight--it may help, but its absolutely not necessary!

Exercise is for fitness, and possibly to allow you a few extra calories per day. Changing your diet is what will help you lose weight.

You mentioned you don't have money for a fancy diet, so I'd like to make a suggestion. Find out what your calorie intake should be in order to lose 1/2 lbs per week (any more, and its not healthy) and then try calorie counting! Its not expensive at all, and once you start noticing how many calories are in certain things, it becomes really easy to portion control. (I've been calorie counting for only a month or so, but I can already accurately guess calorie amounts without actually reading labels).

Anyway, that's just my suggestion, but welcome to the forum! There's plenty of support threads/challenges so take a look around and above all, good luck!

[SilkieBantam]

hello, I am new here too and I just started dieting and I found a nice diet that I will keep for the rest of my life. it is not for everyone . I love meat so I have been just eating meat and salad and eggs . I started in june 11 I was 205.2 and now I am 199.6 that was with out exersise besides I live on a farm feeding the animals and cleanning the horse pens. june 30th I started walking,riding a bike and horse back riding. I want to see how much I lose with exercise. we have to let the past be the past and live our life to make us happy . I was once told only we can make our self happy so lets start by loosing the weight. I wish you the best!

[MissViolet]

I cant believe how sweet you all are! It put such a smile on my face to get on here and read all your supportive comments.I hope with time im able to be as positive as all of you! My worst fear is repeating the mistake i made the first time not caring about my weight because i was too sad and gaining more weight.I have alot riding on my weight loss......including a 4 year relationship that my weight is ruining.I dont want to lose the love of my life because of I gained so much weight and became so negative and sad all the time. I just keep telling myself i can do this and now when i look at food i think......is that really worth it?Is it really worth ruining the hour i worked out today? I want so hard to have the small figure i use to have but the weight comes off so slowly and then ill put a pound back on and it kills me!

[MissViolet]

Originally Posted by VickyK

Yay, welcome!

And.. if I may start proposing a life altering solution.. grocery home delivery!!!

Changed my world, I'm never going to the store again LOL

Safeway and Vons (depending on where you live) both do it. If you have any one of these semi close by, it costs next to nothing to get all your stuff delivered to your home (and first one if entirely free). They even carry stuff in for you

LOL! i wish. I live in quebec and the only stores i have around me is maxi and metro:P I have a hard enough time going to the store *i dont know any french* trying to ask where something is if i cant find it lmfao:P

[MissViolet]

Originally Posted by Kl33476

Welcome! I'm new to this site too I know that it's really hard for me to be so focused on the scale and see it fluctuate lbs every week. It drives you crazy! I've done work out videos and stuff and they are great exercise, but just remember to find something that you ENJOY doing! Are you in school? For me, finding a workout buddy was the BEST thing ever. Good luck!

No im not in school. I finished high school but missed 1 course,which was french. I tried to go back but halfway through couldn't do it due to my depression. Im hoping to go back but with the weight i am,im too embarrassed to go out anywhere,i cant even go to the mall anymore,its scary thinking of going back to school with a bunch of people. The most i do is to the grocery store and back. 196 pounds on someone who is 5'0 is not pretty! I also wish i had a workout buddy but i lost most of my friends after school and no one else i know is big like me and wants to work out. I have a exercise bike and that is my favorite thing to do and occasionally ill do my work out tapes but i just seem to keep going from 196-200,back and forth no matter what i do.Thanks for the encouragement and support,your very sweet

[Daer]

Welcome to the forums! as others have mentioned, I am quite new here as well. Growing up I was a very large girl, and my weight had always been a big issue. My highest point was 445, and I never want to get to that again. As of the last two months I have lost 35 pounds thanks to curves. So if you have any curves around you, I would highly suggest checking that out! The ladies there could easily become some of your best support in your weight loss journey. The best things about it, for me, is the fact that it is indeed a ladies only gym. I have met so many friends there and they have all been there for me, and helped me reach my goals so far.

[chunkypanda]

its so hurtful even more so when people will make comments in the street when you are trying to move the pounds , few weeks ago I was walking with my partner to town and some Thugs in a car Called me Fatty bum bum and of course I yelled back at them and they had the cheek to come round again and do it twice Was very degrading I think our mums want the best for us but sometimes they do not know what there doing make our hunger more to keep the way we are my dad will whatch every mouthful i take if they did not sit there and whatch me id be less tempted to have it or when they make comments