It’s the new year, and I have weight left over from last year to lose, which makes me so unique!

I’m a big girl. I’ve been a much bigger girl. I’m on this terrible roller-coaster where I lose weight, then gain it back. Sometimes I lose more gain less. Sometimes I lose less gain more. This has been the last 10 years of my life. Last year, I really got on the exercise boat for the first time in my life, dropped the fad dieting and did it the “right” way. I lost 40lbs, was in the best shape of my life. Then the craziness of the kids being home for the summer (3 boys, nough said), the crazy routine in which I spent at least the grand majority of my summer at McDonald’s drive through as the easiest place to grab something to eat as I escorted the kids from here to there…and then just as I got used to having them around 24/7 they went back to school and I dealt with the weigh I gained over the summer, and my missing them by promptly getting depressed and eating my feelings, so I gained 50 pounds putting me right now at 210lbs. Which is about 60lbs from where my doctor wants me, which is also what I think is realistic for me. I’ve been so close (within 12lbs) and this is the year I want to make it.

I love Zumba, which helps. To clarify, I never want to go, but once I get there and see my friends and the music starts, and an hour passes and I’m all sweaty and feeling accomplishy, it’s awesome. I hate running but want to do more of it. I hate weight lifting but need to do more of it. I eat pretty well until 5pm and then I seem to throw the whole day away and eat whatever crap I want well into the evening. I drink water pretty well for a day and then collapse back into my coke Zero nest. I hate myself, and I’m really good at hating myself, which needs to stop, because my sons, my oldest two, are starting to hate themselves too, and no no no they are so precious and wonderful and gorgeous young men and I won’t stand for it. But I’m realistic enough to know they get it from me.

Goals:
Stop hating myself (after all, my friends love me, and they don’t have too, so I can’t be that bad)
Lose 60lbs
Learn to do something else with my feelings so I don’t gain it back this time.

I’ve started a new blog. I’m just meddling. I feel silly writing there, to myself, but I’m doing it. I’m trying to find my voice or whatever so it’s just basically stumbly but…after I post 25 times I'll post the link.

Anyway, this place looks nice, mind if I nose around and make myself comfy here for awhile?
Sara

Hey Sara,

I can really relate to what your saying about still having last year's weight to lose. It's just so totally frustrating isn't it?

Don't feel silly about blogging, I find it helps me to get comments but if you just want to do it for yourself then go for it!

Fox

I understand 100%. My life has been pretty similar. I lost 70 + lbs and gained every single pound back. I have two boys so I know how that goes. Life gets crazy sometimes. Welcome to 3FC. I started a blog as well. Maybe we can root each other on. I'm not sure how to share my blog with you as I don't have a 3FC blog. Mine is on blogger. You could message me the link to yours and I could return the favor if you are interested. Oh and I am in KY as well.

Thanks Fox! I was hoping the blogging might help get me a little more out of my head and the negative thinking. Right?

Awesome! I'd message you my blog address but I'm not sure how, and if I'm write it says that I have to post 20 times before I'm allowed to link out, I'm sure to keep spam down.

I'm hoping the blog will help me tackle some head issues you know, to quit the self loathing at least for my boys, but no, really for me because I have to think I'm worth it.

I know what I'd say to a friend in my shoes, it's just so hard to talk to ones self with the same respect and understanding.

I get where you're coming from. I have put on weight over the last 8 weeks - weight I had just lost. So mad at myself. It made me decide that the yoyo dieting had to stop NOW. I don't want a quick fix. I'm happy with slow & steady as long as it comes off & stays off.

Sara, welcome, glad to have you join us. I suggest you look for a Challenge or Support group to join; small check-in groups make it easier to connect, get involved, and be accountable. We have groups centering around specific diets, themes, or age groups, find one that inspires you and just post to join!

I am on a new diet for 2012, and I joined a new Challenge for 2012 in this site.
Once I lose all the weight...which will take to the end of 2013, then I will go into a maintenance group here. So I don't gain it all back again.
I don't want to yoyo diet too. That is really hard on the body to take.