Fml
 

Hi there ! I am Sammi and I just joined today. I am not new to losing weight, I have previously lost a whole lot of weight in a 2 year span, began at 139 pounds and became 93 pounds.
I was constantly getting bull**** from my mom about how skinny I was and that I had lost my period and yaada yaada yaada. One day it suddenly came to me that not having my periods was bad, so I started to eat a whole lot more - I went from maintaining at 1300-1400 cals to gaining on 3000-7000 cals. My stomach hurt all the time but I kept stuffing myself. My mom would not say anything to me about me eating sooo much and let me do it. Now that I am 148 pounds, 5'4 and still eating like crazy she is starting to make rude comments and it really makes me cry. Heck I am crying right now as I write this. I haven't cried because of my weight in such a long time I am soo hurt. I want to lose the weight again so I can be like 'HA! You can't say anything to me anymore you two timing *****." I don't care what you guys think about me calling my mom a ***** but she is one. She let me pig out and then it be came a habit. I asked her to take me to a dietician and she couldn't even do that! Today she was like " I wasn't stopping you from going to the dietician, you could have took the bus and went."

My life is ****ed. I am scared to meet the people I knew previously because I have become so fat. I know I cannot live like this but I am scared of losing weight. I used to feel cold and had these brain freezes a lot of the time. I started to look pale and dead and my hair became ugly. I am scared but I need to lose weight. Please help me guys, I need support. I cannot live like this. I hate my ****in mom and it's because of her I am here at this ****ty weight where I don't fit into my size 7 jeans anymore. I knew if I started eating more I couldn't stop and would end up fat and I did. She didn't understand. She didn't ****in understand....

Well that's my intro, i know it's pretty intense.

Size 7 is my fat jeans b.t.w. Size 5 is perfect for me.

All while growing up my Mother also made comments about my weight - I was too big, so she took me to WW, and then I was too thin, etc. She still does it, I'm 30 now!

I don't know why Mothers can have so much emotional impact on how we feel about ourselves, but they can. It really gets under our skin!

There is no cure - just try to avoid any conversation in the topic. Your mother is her own person and you have no control over how she reacts.

Try to brainstorm ways you can start to get your eating under control again, talk through some of you problems with others on this website, I think you can get through this emotional time!

Hello Sammi, welcome to 3FC. Sorry you're having such a rough time with your mom. Do you have health insurance/money and transportation so you can visit a doctor? It sounds like you've gone from one extreme to the other and are having trouble finding the right balance. That's something a that a lot of people on here struggle with too, and there's a pretty good amount of discussion and mutual support among people looking for their balance. You'll definitely be welcome here. Still, professional guidance can offer things that the Internet can't. ;) Good luck!

I dnt think youre fat!! You are three pounds away from a normal bmi!!!I think u need help. You are really at an ideal weight for your height. Stop being so hard on yourself. U need to learn to love yourself. Im sry to hear that you and your mom arent getting along. Things can always get better.