Can't even get started
 

I've been trying to lose this weight for 14 years. I know, because my youngest is almost 15.

I've been on this website, as well as others, over the years, trying to lose. Sometimes I'm successful for awhile, never for more than 3 months.

I'm so sick of being fat. I don't know how to begin to be successful. I can hardly stand the thought of failing again, but I don't know what would make this attempt better/different than any of the others. In fact, I think I'm less motivated, simply out of fear of failure (again).

What program to use? I'm thinking Weight Watchers this time. Face-to-face meetings might be a big help and motivator. But I hate to spend the money and not be successful.

See? I'm pretty negative and doubtful about this, yet I want to lose this weight so much. Argh.

Any suggestions or advice?

Thanks!

Hey there :hug:

I'm a WW member, so my bias might show towards WW a smidge, but I think the difference is that no matter what program a person chooses that they don't ever consider quitting doing whatever healthy changes they make.

How can I put this...

Whatever healthy changes a person ends up making, regardless of if it's from a named plan or program, they continue with them forever. Instead of thinking of whether or not the plan will be successful... success becomes sticking with healthy changes no matter what. After all, that's how we keep off weight. We make permanent changes. There's no option for an end date.

Maybe you need to look at what habits you can improve instead of thinking about "losing weight" as the goal. The habits themselves will help you lose weight, but if the goal is to stick with the changes forever... then the weight will come off and stay off forever no matter the pace.

Group support and accountability is a huge thing for a lot of people. There are many WW members who enjoy their weekly meetings. There are also places like TOPS (tops.org) or even just friends and family doing things together. There are also a TON of people who frequent weight loss sites on a regular basis to be accountable and to get to know others so that they stick with every healthy step they take forward.

Take a look at what you're doing for those 3 months you're following a plan. And take a look at what causes you to quit those plans. Are you pushing yourself too far too fast? Do you see some results and then get lazy about it? Do you make a mistake and then just give up?

If you can pinpoint why you're stopping you might be able to see how to patch it up as you go along with whatever program you decide.

Stick around. No matter what you decide. You can add in healthy behaviors and habits that will make a difference. :yes:

:drill: Get rid of that negative attitude, missy.

YOU CAN, YOU WILL!!!


Of course, this is not going to be easy. If it was easy, this website would not exist. :o

Try to take it one meal at a time. You are going to have days/weeks/etc when you dont lose anything... even while staying perfectly on plan. BUT when that happens, STICK WITH IT ANYWAY!!!! I always think to myself, "If I stay on plan, where will I be 6 months from now?" or "If I start cheating now, where will I be 6 months from now?"

To me, weight loss is a major mind game. You have to be stronger than temptation - after all, nothing tastes as good as reaching your goals. :hug:

Here is the thing....any program you follow is a reduced calorie diet. Some focus on protein, some focus on eliminating carbs, some are meal replacement, some are prepackaged foods, etc. You know the drill. You've been here before. :)

Commercial diet plans shroud the calorie deficit in their product. J-Craig and N-system rely on their calorie-restricted packaged foods, plus some self-supplmenting with salads and the like. Other programs restrict certain foods while allowing free choice on others (think Atkins and the like). Slim Fast has its products and suggest using them 2X a day and having sensible snacks and dinner. WW is calorie counting, but that information is built into its points system. All perfectly doable, and there are so many more that remain nameless. The bottom line is, you will eat less and if you take it a step further, will move more (exercise).

What you need to do is pick a plan that you can stick to that interferes the least with the "normalcy" of your life.

If you're looking for a suggestion, I suggest calorie counting.

Find yourself a user friendly website, input your information (height, age, sex, weight, activity level) and find out at your current weight what the amount of calories daily is needed to maintain that weight. Then, you subtract 500 daily calories, and start your diet.

You know what "healthy" foods are, and you know what you like to eat. There are smarter "reduced calorie" choices that can be made as to milk products, yogurt, cheese, breads, meats, etc. The "magic" is in what you like to eat, healthy choices, and a daily calorie target (and ceiling).

You don't have to diet hard, you have to diet smart.

Also, you know it doesn't happen in a day, a week, a month. It is a lifestyle change, and there really isn't anything to be negative and doubtful about.

If I told you that a can of blue paint was going to color your walls blue, you'd believe me right? Its logical. That reducing 500 calories from your daily diet is going to cause you weight loss is the truth. Believe it.

This forum is full of people on diets of their choosing who are successful. I'm sure you'll get plenty of personal stories and advice. Decided what best fits into your life, and good luck to you.

That approach worked for me. I just worked on improving one habit at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time. I only weighed myself once a month.

It took me 18 months to lose 90 pounds, but the new habits stuck and I've continued to steadily maintain for nearly 8 years. It drives me crazy when people ask how long it took me to lose weight - that's not the point! The point is a permanent lifestyle change and permanent weight loss.

Losing weight is easy - maintaining is the hard part.

Just pick one and go with it, don't let yourself talk about it any more. Count calories, carbs, fat, whatever. Make sure you're eating enough and that it's real food and you should be fine.