Writing about my fatness and my need to shed it feels redundant as I have started and re-started a diet so many times and written motivational words (always to myself in my personal journal though) over and over.. for the last 10 years.

I am a pretty "do it yourself" type of girl.. but this is beyond me. I can't do it on my own obviously.

So here I am, reaching out. It’s something I really have not done before so maybe this will be the “secret ingredient”.

I am also starting a blog although that has not really happened yet.

It feels like almost a last ditched effort. I am very close to just deciding it’s time to just live my life.. fat or not and I am very, very overweight. I started out with well over 100# to lose and although it looks like I am doing “well” by my stats (35 pounds “down”) that 35 pounds has been over the last 4-5 years. I am constantly either on a diet or pigging out. Or sleeping, which I do allot.

I feel quite tired of it all. I set in front of the TV last night and thought about how much of my life I am NOT living because I am so overweight and it felt devastating to me, so here I am.

Hello.

Welcome! Whenever I lost weight in the past (and I am definetly a yo-yo dieter) I've doen it by myself. I never talked about it with anyone (expect for a short time at WW, the whole time I would be embrassed talking about me) I'm glad I am here this tiem. Not wnly have a learned MANY MANY things. I am hoping to get more support if I ever make it to maintenance again.

I'd never seriously dieted before this attempt, but oh, I'd had the same exact thoughts so many times. Knowing I needed to just get my act together and do it, but somehow unable to make myself. I never even got to the point of getting started.

I know what my motivation was when I got started on this journey in January, but I don't really know what flipped that switch and actually allowed me to commit to changing and make it happen this time.

What I DO know is that the best thing about this experience has been the way I feel about myself. Not the way I look, or what I see in the mirror, or wearing smaller clothing sizes. It's that I feel so.darn.proud of myself every single day for having done this, for having achieved this. I am a long way from my goal still, but every single pound is a victory.

Using the support on this site, or the support you can find other places, IS still doing this yourself. There is a ton of support, advice, information and motivation available here, and I would encourage you to use every bit of it that you can. Use anything that works for you to help you along this journey. But recognize that when you succeed it is still YOU that is making it happen, and be proud of yourself. Do you know how many people take weight off and put it right back on?? You've lost 35 lbs that you haven't put back on! That puts you in a very small statistic - those who have lost weight and kept it off. You've earned each of those pounds you've lost, no matter how long it has taken. And each pound you lose from here on out will be an achievement too, and I hope you'll celebrate it as such.

Congratulations on all the weight loss you've accomplished thus far, and may your time here bring even more success.

Joining this site, for me, was a way to clinch the deal on a commitment I already made but I needed to take this step to seal the deal. I felt vulnerable and inside me there was a small core of utter seriousness that dictated I "expose" myself and stand before witnesses as I progress.

A part of me felt that even though I believed I was going to do this I needed to find something, someone(s), outside of me to cheer me on.

It is the right thing for me. I hope you find that, too. Welcome.

Welcome!