desperately need of a hug
 

hey there. my name is dee. im 5'9 240lbs, just turned 51 on 4/5. i need to lose at least fifty lbs. heres my tale{ie:excuse for being overweight and unhappy}. rough childhood, i'm divorced twice, last boyfriend of nine years caught him in my bed with someone else. I was so hurt i threw up 50lbs literaly.13 months ago. now lost job, gain 50 back. moved to new state so i don't have to see him w/her. now he calls saying sorry today,back with her tomm. flip flop flip flop. got another job. its ok not great. haven,t met many people. most fellow employees are young 20's. so i need help,hints,tricks, to change my life around. i wasted the first century. want to live to the max but don't know were to start. its hard to climb out of the fat hole when it seems like foods your only friend. been looking on line for places to meet people. problem is most are at night and i work 2nd shift.. any advise greatly appiciated.

Welcome! I'm so glad you're here--this is a friendly place. Please post often. I know you're going through a rough time. We're here for you!

Hi decogo, welcome to the boards. Sorry for everything you've been going through, but glad you found this site. I haven't been here too long yet, but I've quickly learned that this is a very popular site where people post often, so there always seem to be others to communicate with and get support from. Also, there's sub-forums for any group here you may have specific interest in (diet type, age, or even just General Chatter sections). Welcome to the boards and, as chickybird said, we're here for you!

Welcome and good luck !

Welcome to 3FC, Dee. I've been here for a little while and have really enjoyed the support and information I've found here. As for your life story, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, as they say. The fortunate thing is all the dark stuff is behind you. You're much wiser now, and you know what you don't want in your life.

Moving to a new place midlife can be rough. I had to move back to my hometown two years ago and it's been really difficult finding new friends. My schedule was erratic because I was caring for my elderly parents as well as home schooling my youngest son. It seemed everyone was busy and already had family and friends set for life. I tried really hard to make friends, and I'm very socially outgoing. I hosted dinner parties, but no one but my family would show up! I started talking to complete strangers! (I was desperate.) I volunteered for different things around town. I took classes at the adult ed facility. I went through MeetUp to find people with similar interests or whole new interests in my area. No one wanted to make any effort to have me as a friend.

What I really wanted was to be around people that supported my efforts to lose weight and get healthy, so I found a Pilates class with women of my own age range. It's been difficult, but after two years, I was finally asked to go to a spa pedicure party with a group of women from the class. Another couple of ladies have invited me to go see a movie with them. I joined a local wine club that meets on weekends.

I have NO DESIRE to date anyone. I'm pretty fed-up with men right now.

It's going to be an effort, I guess, to make friends as well as lose the weight and get healthy. Just gotta keep trying, because the alternative isn't what I want at all!

Good luck, Dee.

thank you all for responding to my whine. its raining here today and im off so im going to kick my diet off to a good start. first cleaning out all junk from the kitchen so no temptation to eat when lonly later. then off to my bedroom. all tentish or oversize clothes going. will cut some up and make dog beds for my daughters dogs so they'll be comfortable and maybe a pillow or two. it will also remind me of where i use to be when i see the fabric. then i'll pick a outfit to display so to remind me of my goals. no it wont be a size six little black dress. ill go a size or two smaller so i don't get discouraged when i try it on. as for eating i will eat what i want but will cut everything i put in my mouth in half and wrap the rest. i did that years ago for my daughters wedding but instead of wrapping i shared the other half w/ my bf. i lost 42lbs doing that.i know i have to change my eating style but new city,new state,new job and new goals i'm alittle overwhelmed. have a great day. thx again.

here i am again. if i could lose weight by laughing well 10 lbs would be gone now. i open up the cabinet to get rid of the "junK" there are ten boxes of 100 calorie snacks of all kinds. problem was i'd eat all six packs at a time. who was i fooling???? did the cashier think i would only eat one pack.Not by looking at my size. i'm amazed at the games we play with ourselves to justify poor behavior. I surely can't be the only one to do this right??well back to cleaning. I have a feeling i may be posting alot today. I feel better knowing that my dirty little secrets are our for the world to see. seems less shameful if that makes sense.

Things will get better
 

I hope things look up for you! Keep your chin up. Don't let a man get the best of you. You can overcome this. Just keep thinking how good you will feel when you drop the weight back and how jealous you will make him. You will find someone better. Join a gym. Exercise will keep your mind off of things and distress you. Better yet you may meet someone special there.

:hug::hug::hug::hug: Welcome, and good luck!

ok .its no fun eating alone so as you can imagine i live on fast food. although i will say i make better fast food choices than if i ate at home. a meal at home would have been sweet and easy like a gallon of ice cream or half a pie with milk. there was a time when i'd ordered alot of food at the drive up and 3 small diet cokes so they wouldn't think it was all for me. Another trick!!! who was i kidding-the clerk, myself???? what was i thinking. its almost six pm and i have no junk in the house so i will head to subway for a veggie delight on whole wheat with vinger. no cheese or maya yum. hope everyone is having a successful day.

Good for you getting the temptations out of the house! I also live on my own, and I completely understand that it's sooo easy to eat the junk, because there's no one there to watch, stop, or judge you. So congrats on making some great changes!

I know there's a lot of cookbooks out there for people who live alone (with recipes that serve one or two), have you ever considered working with one of those rather than going for the fast food? I've only been doing this two weeks so far, but already a pleasant side-effect of these efforts is that I'm learning to cook! I've cooked more in the past two weeks than the past two years, and am excited about becoming a more confident cook!

thanks ILRPINKGIRL. my second husband was a chef and i have worked in the food industry for over thirty years. my problem is by the time i cook it i dont want to eat it. Used to happen at the holidays all the time. I go nuts preparing a great meal for many and then start clean up. I didn't sit to enjoy what i prepared. a simple salad seems to taste better if someone else makes it. or so it seems. i get alot of good food ideas for one from the internet. I wont call today a total success i did eat a peep or three from the easter basket.

its raining again today and i'm feeling kind of dreary. the good news is i go to work at 3pm. i found a meetup group near my town that goes on nature hikes. count me in. i try to walk almost everyday but sometimes i get totally bored walking by myself, plus being over weight is hard on the joints. the lady running the meet up group is a life coach. yeah for me. she may be getting a new client. depending on the cost of coarse. Tues nights i get my fill of weight shows biggest loser & addicted to food. i relate to many of their stories and i am glad my weight is not as extreme as some of theirs. i think if they can do it so can i. on addicted to food they beat the heck out of something screaming and yelling about their childhood misfortunes. it looked so tempting and cleansing i was tempted to beat the couch.I was afraid my daughter would have me committed since i live at her house and its her couch. well i have to find something to do before work or i'll tempted to eat. if anyone is in the western part of michigan and likes to walk please post if you know any walkining groups or walking areas.

Originally Posted by decogo:
here i am again. if i could lose weight by laughing well 10 lbs would be gone now. i open up the cabinet to get rid of the "junK" there are ten boxes of 100 calorie snacks of all kinds. problem was i'd eat all six packs at a time. who was i fooling???? did the cashier think i would only eat one pack.Not by looking at my size. i'm amazed at the games we play with ourselves to justify poor behavior. I surely can't be the only one to do this right??well back to cleaning. I have a feeling i may be posting alot today. I feel better knowing that my dirty little secrets are our for the world to see. seems less shameful if that makes sense.

Hi Decogo! This made me chuckle! I can't believe how many times I've done that!!! :o

good luck, i am not a new member yet i am a revisting friend of 3FC...lol. hope the site helps you i know the GOAL and MINI goal pics inspire me!!!

here i go venting again but i'm so frustrated right now i could eat my weight in chocolate. i was asked to work monday for extra hours because i am not f/t yet and having a hard time making ends meet. female boss says come in monday 9-5. get there male boss at 11am go home no work for you. so i walked the 2+ miles home so my daughter wouldn't have to load the babies to come get me. off tues. today 3-9 get there sent home 6pm. not before another work says holy crap i am over 40 hrs this week already. he started 5 weeks before me. i was so mad i thought my head would explode. i made it to the car just in time for my emotional melt down. then i polished of a sundea at dq. now i feel sick to my stomach. mad at them mad at me. being so new in town i really had no one to call. not like aa where you have a sponcer to turn to in times of weekness. so i guess i'll take my digusting self to bed where i no doubt will rehash this in my head for hours befor i sleep causing me to be less than my cheerful self tomm.

well i decided to weigh myself on sat morn. so officially i now weigh 228lbs. 12 lbs down 32-42 to go. the first ten or so i know is water weight so i even though i dont understand that i'll be glad about it.i think working contributed also. the place i work has two floors 22 steps between them. so i've done alot of stairs w/th/fri. today i'm doing a dbl, sometimes i'm to tired to eat. that not good either. now that nice weather has arrived we will be busy here. they say everyone that works here for a summer had lost weight because of the stairs. the joke is the work out is free.hope everyone else is having a successful week as well.

Welcome and good luck!

It's a beautiful day here in michigan and i'm seriously considering a walk. my daughter has a bike and i'm thinking of having it inspected and start taking it to work. I remember laughing when i'd see two large butt cheeks hovering over the bike seat. Now its my butt wafting over for the world to see. I treated myself to a long soak in a lavender bubble bath. I am trying to use other things as treats instead of food. Anyone have any suggestion.

today i just want to eat everything in sight. I'm so bored on my days off. New to the area i have no where to go. I'd get in my car and drive but w/gas over $4.00 a gallon who can afford to do that. I've called several of my friends (?)from back home but was totally rejected. seems like everyone has a life but me. without eating i feel i don't have much to do. it's a catch 22. I eat when im sad,lonely or bored to make me feel better then i'm sad, and unhappy because i ate and am overweight cause me to be bored and lonely. this cycle has to stop. i feel like a seesaw up down up down. does anyone else feel stuck in thisd vicious cycle and does anyone have a way to break it. I'll be most happy to try any suggestions

Welcome and I hope things look up for you. Don't give up.

hi again. todays situation for discussion is this first why do they make clothes for larger women have giant pattern or flowers on them. I'm a big girl with big tata's and do not need big daisies or sunflowers plastered on the chest area of the shirt i where.
secondly today at work we had a meeting to discuss uniformity amongs the staff being that the tourism season is about to begin.we are to wear black long sleeves button down collared shirts. no problem went to mens dept bought a couple xxl. the problem is they want them tucked in. i am not comfortable with my shirt tuck in it add more stuffing to the already over stuff bottom half.then the muffin top happens and theres no hiding the pooch in front. I would prefer a shorter type shirt that breaks up the bigger area and looks better. I also like aprons and vest to help hide the bulges and rolls. you would think they would want their employees to look their best and be confident with their appearence instead of forcing them to conform to the appearence of the 20yr old that look ok in their uniform. just another way to beat down the moral of someone who is already in the grips of ho hum

doesn't anyone else think of food all day or is it just me. I get up and think whats for breakfast.while eating breakfast i'm wondering about lunch and dinner. then i need my mid morning mid afternoon and midnight snacks. it seems that i think of food all the time. to make matters worse you cant turn on the tv radio or pick up a magazine that in one form or another talks about food. it no wonder we are all in the boat we re in. even driving down the street you see billboards and places to eat every couple of miles. I find it hard to focus on anything non ediable through out the day. somehow even without being aware of it food creeps back into my thoughts. went for a walk looked up at the beautiful sky and thought the clouds look like fluffy marshmellows. smelt a bbq in the distance. and food ,litter along the path. short of being locked in a all white room this is an uphill battle that needs extra man power and support to win.

Welcome :hug:

getting ready for mother's day weekend. I have let my daughter and son in law know that candy is not exceptable. I have to work a double (9am-11:30pm) so i think my eating will be under controll. i have heard that eveyone who works at the place i work from mothers day to labor day has lost an average of 30 lbs. I hope this is true. I look forward to being part of that statistic. It's very busy and we use the stairs quite often plus there's lifting and carrying. i'm hoping it will jumpstart my journey to losing at least 50 to 60 lbs. i'll be posting for sure.