Hi everyone. I'm really hoping that you can all help me with my situation. I won't turn this into a "therapy session," but I do have to give you a bit of background so you'll understand my problem.

About 4 years ago, I discovered that my husband was having an affair. Immediately, I stopped eating. It wasn't intentional...it just happened. Needless to say, my weight plummeted. I joke that it was the best diet I've ever been on. And, honestly, I looked better than I had in years. I wish it had come about a different way, though.

Anyway, because of that, my metabolism really got screwed up. Since then, trying to get back to a "normal" diet has been a nightmare. When I eat, I gain weight. Even if what I'm eating should be the "right" things (low cal, low fat, etc). It seems like now the only way for my body to lose weight is to starve myself. Clearly, that's BAD and I don't want to do that.

Where am I now? Well, I go to the gym regularly (usually 4x/week) and do 30 min of cardio and then light weight-training. I don't work out hard, but I do go. As far as my diet goes, this is where I need help. Even if I eat the right things, my weight starts going up and I freak out. By "right" things I mean chicken/fish/lean protein, veggies, etc. and I try to stay around 1200-1500 cal/day. Then (because my metabolism stinks) I see the weight going up and I figure, "well, if it's going to go up anyway, I may as well eat these m&ms." Then I feel bad for doing that, so I cut my calories down way too far. Can you say YO-YO dieting?!? This is just hurting my metabolism more.

I know this is all wrong and I want to stop it. I'm just not sure of the right way to do it. If I have to gain weight to get my metabolism back on track and get healthy, I'll do it. I just want to be sure that I'm working in the right direction and not just mindlessly gaining weight. Does that make sense?

I hear all this about eat 5-6 small meals a day...eat every 3 hours...stuff like that. But what should I eat??? I'm always on the go, so I need easy/portable stuff. Those protein bars look good until I see their calorie content and then I end up just grabbing a 90 cal granola bar instead. I don't like to cook (and I'm not good at it), so meals (esp dinner) are always a problem. All the menu plans I find seem to be aimed at people who like to cook. When a recipe starts getting too many ingredients, I know I won't make it. I need simple, easy, and fast.

Please help. I need to get my metabolism back to normal and I need to get healthy again!!

Thanks so much for reading.

The way to start is to start. Your calorie allotment will depend on a couple of things, what is your goal weight ? How tall are you. If you are short and small boned you will require fewer calories than a taller, large boned person. Pick a diet that you will follow. I find calorie counting works best for me. Since you don't like to cook you can use frozen diet meals such as Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice and there are others. They all list calorie counts on them . Some of them are high in sodium so you need to check that. It is normal for weight to fluctuate , maybe you are weighting too often, Try just weighing once a week. And do NOT fall back on M&M's. Good luck.

You have to remember also working out can make you retain water so you'll see gains now and then. Weight loss certainly isn't linear.

Before we can assess if you are eating too much or too little knowing your height weight would help

For me I'm 5'3", I eat around 1300-1500 calories a day and exercise a few times a week but when I started dieting and exercising I was eating more like 1800 calories a day because the more you weigh the more calories you naturally burn.

Right now my body burns around 2000 calories a day so if I got lower than 1300 I tend to stall.

My meals consist mostly of lean protein and veggies but that's cuz even though I know my calories are around 1300-1500 a day I count carbs.

I put my height/weight info in my original post, but I took it out. I have found that there is a lot of negativity (not on this board, but in real life) when someone with my stats "complains" about their weight. Consequently, I decided to delete it from my original post to avoid that issue. But, having said that, I did think it would be helpful information, which is why I put it in there originally.

Anyway...I'm 5'5" and I weigh around 120. I'm 39 years old.

I hope my post is not disregarded because people consider that to be an "appropriate" weight for my height. My concern is about increasing my metabolism and getting healthy. Do I realize that 120 is within the "normal" range for my height? Yes. Do I want to lose a few pounds? Yes. I look better with a few pounds less on my frame. Also, a height and a weight do not tell the whole story. I have excessive body fat (poor eating habits/poor metabolism) and my muscle tone has paid the price for my yo-yo dieting. I realize that exercise and weight training will help with those things, but I desperately need to get my diet on track as well.

I hope I'm not coming across as snarky in my response. That is not my intention at all. I just don't want my height/weight stats to take away from my original question.

I truly appreciate everyone's input and advice.

Oh yeah I can understand not posting cuz of that.

Maybe what you really need to look into is toning exercises and strengthening exercises to tighten up more than anything? Cuz yeah you are right, your height and weight are fine, but you are still are a little unhappy with what you are seeing, so maybe it's not weight that needs to go down but inches?

It's like there are some people who keep lowering their goal weights and while that is great at some point some strengthening and toning can make a world of difference There was a poster who went from a size 6 to a 2 (I believe that was the sizes) with weight training and toning exercises and I believe her weight stayed the same the whole time- it was amazing to see

Do you think that's a possibility for you? You could probably hire a trainer for 1-3 months to teach you all you need to learn to tighten up your body to where you'd like to be.

OR something I'm totally in love with is the P90X, I unfortunately have sagging skin due to my weight loss and when I did the P90X I saw SUCH a difference in my body, I wasn't losing much weight BUT my size 14 jeans finally started fitting so I did see a huge difference there

Good luck

ok... the first thing that comes to mind.... youre a daily wiegher? you increase your cals to 1200-1500 and see an "immediate gain" and freak out and restrict.
The immediate gain is purely water weight and the actual weight of the extra food in your body... you need to give it MUCH longer before you freak and call it gaining, KWIM? Secondly when you come out of a deficit, you ARE ABSOLUTELY going to gain back water weight....permanent water weight. It is unavoidable. it HAS TO HAPPEN. Its those first ew pounds you lost very easily. If this bothers you than shoot for a goal 2-4 ounds UNDer your real goal, so when the water comes back on (AND IT WILL) you will settle right in around goal.
3rd-- if you wan to reset your metabolism, you have to do a refeed. AN EXTENSIVE, specific,long refeeed (10 days or more at eating AT OR ABOVE MAITENANCWE at LEAST~ 2000to 3000 a day of Higher glycemic index carbs) YES< you are going to gain a BUTTLOAD of water weight from all the simpple carbs, but it necessary to reset your falling and out of whack hormones ( which is what a metabolism is)... i gained 14 pounds on my refeed, AND ALL OF IT was gone exactly 2 weeks later, exceptt approx 1.5 lbs of actual fat i put on... but i brought my maintenance cals up from 1200 a day to over 1700 a day, so it was successful.... and i could have done it again and again and keep increasing those cals and metabolism.

good luck to you

Here's the thing - if you're trying to build muscle to help your body look better, at your weight there's a good chance you'll gain some weight during that process. Or you'll go up and down a lot over a few lbs. That's okay. That's normal. You might end up gaining 10 lbs, but look better than you've ever looked in your whole life, feel stronger, and even wear a smaller clothing size. Building muscle is going to help your metabolism - and that's where it seems like you have the most work to do. I'm a daily weigher myself, but in your situation, I'd probably not do that. I might only weigh once a week, or a month, or maybe not at all. Your weight doesn't matter at this point - you need to try to let that go (I know it's easier said than done!). But you're well within a healthy weight range for your height. You said you look and feel better with a few less pounds on you - I believe you. However, I think maybe you mean that you look and feel better with a few less lbs of fat on you, not necessarily a few less lbs period. If you could trade out 5 lbs of fat for 5 lbs of muscle, you'd weigh the same but look and feel better. So I wouldn't focus on losing weight at all - that will just continue to ravage your metabolism, and even if you do manage to lose however much weight you want to lose, you probably won't be satisfied with your body - you'll still have a high fat percentage, you'll probably still have flab where you'd rather not have flab, you know?

So that's the long way of saying - weight training, weight training, weight training. Cardio is good, but weight training will help you get the body I suspect you're looking for at this point. When I was in college, I started a semester weighing 125 lbs. I took a weight training class 3 days a week and, without changing anything else with regard to excercise and eating (possibly eating more, even - lifting made me hungry!), I ended the semester at about 115 lbs and in the best shape of my life. Fifteen years later, I really wish I'd stuck with it.

I didn't read all the replies.

Your body probably is in a starvation mode, from the abuse that you've pushed upon it, and will probably retain some of those calories that you withheld, and you probably will gain some.

That being said. Your body is adaptable, and will get used to eating again! You won't blow up to an enormous amount. You've got to give it a chance to find an equilibrium.

Personally I would research the caloric need to maintain the weight you wish to be, and start there for my normal range. Start eating that amount and continue excercising. Give your body some Healing time, and not look at the scale, because obsessing about it, is not going to help.

If you have the money see a nutritionist and therapist about it, since you're recovering from anorexia. It's not all about body image, for you it was totally emotional.