Hi from Asia
 

Hi to all from Taipei, Taiwan. I'm an American who moved abroad a few years back, and it's hard living in Asia as a fat chick! From unsolicited advice from friends or co-workers ("Maybe you could try eating less." "Really? I never thought of that!") to audible comments from strangers in public - "Wow, so fat!" - which the speakers presumably think I don't understand, life for a fat chick is much harder here than it is in the US. For the past several years of living abroad, I've had to wait to visit the States in order to do my clothes shopping (bras especially!), or else buy something I'm not so satisfied with in one of the few plus-size clothing stores in the city. (The name of the most famous store? "5XL"!) I love living here, but in terms of its effect on my body image, this place kills me.

This is not to say I don't need to lose weight. I've been overweight my entire life, at least back to middle school (though looking back at photos from high school, I realize I shouldn't have listened to the jerks who called me fat then, 90 lbs. lighter than I am now.) College and an equally overweight boyfriend only made things worse - why eat healthy when we can order pizza? - and by the end of college, I was at my highest weight ever: 260.

Since then, I haven't been able to stick to a fitness plan or lose more than 10 or so pounds. Those 10 pounds felt great to take off at the time, but inevitably let them slide back on as I became engrossed in other things and began to put off exercise.

This time, I'm armed with the treadmill I bought last month, and a much better attitude. I've learned that a setback over the weekend is not the end of the world, and I've begun to focus on adding things to my diet rather than take things away. I have been running almost every day for the past few weeks, shoveling in the fruits and vegetables, and allowing myself the junky food I crave when I feel I need it. I've lost about 6 lbs. so far, gained some muscle, and am already feeling better in my clothing. I'm really hoping that, by the time I make my next trip to the States, I'll be able to reach for a smaller size on the rack. More than that, I'm setting the goal to do a 5K race within the next year. I can't say exactly how soon that can happen, since I can barely run 100 meters at the moment, but I'll get there!

I'm probably never going to be able to shop in the local clothing stores (my boobs are just too big!), but I'm hoping to eventually stop sticking out like a sore thumb in a country where 130 lbs. is considered chubby and where the vast majority of my local friends can chow down on McDonald's daily without getting fat.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your support!

I soooo feel for you. I had a student from Taiwan a few semesters ago and this girl was THIN and she said that she needed to lose weight before she went back home because her mom would think she had gained too much weight! She HAD to be a size 2 MAYBE. The majority of my students are international and are generally smaller. I hate feeling like the biggest one too. Especially when I look at pictures that we take together and the look so tiny!

They feel it's OK to comment about other people's weight because they do it to each other allllll the time. So sorry you have to endure that :hug: I don't know if I could have handled that for as long as you have.

What took you to Taiwan? I would love to visit Taiwan some day. It sounds gorgeous from what I have heard from my students. :)
Good luck on your journey!

It sounds from both of your posts that people in Taiwan are more matter-of-fact about weight. It seems rude to us, but i think that is actually refreshing in a way. So many people are embarrassed that they are on a diet, embarrassed about their weight, etc. I always think in a way, it's kind of ironic that no one will tell others their actual weight (myself included)--it's something they want to hide--when there's really no way to hide the fact that you're overweight--people can see it! Anyway, maybe it will hurt your feelings less if you think of it that way--that they are just being matter-of-fact about it, and not that they are necessarily judging you.

suenos096 I came to Taiwan to teach for a year, and ended up staying long-term. I love it here - people are generally friendly (aside from the fat comments!), the island is gorgeous, and there are lots of opportunities I could never have gotten in the States, both in terms of work and international travel. Culturally it can be hard sometimes, especially the longer I live here and see the blemishes that aren't obvious right off, but it takes time to adapt to any place. Plus, being a foreigner can have its advantages on occasion, since people are always wanting to "welcome" me to Taiwan, even though I've been here a long time.

surfergirl2 I agree that people are more matter-of-fact about weight, just as they are more matter-of-fact about everything else. I get questions from complete strangers on everything from my salary to how my bowels react to certain foods, and even once had a taxi driver ask me my blood pressure and weight. But there is an element of judgment in there, and speaking matter-of-factly about weight doesn't equate to those comments being helpful or healthy. Girls here grow up on diets, have eating disorders, and develop low self-esteem just like American girls do, except that these girls aren't fat. A few kilos heavier than others, and they are labeled as obese and teased by classmates. Adults are the same - I see stick-thin co-workers who sulk because they look fat today, and therefore are not going to eat lunch. So although not every single person who makes a weight comment is being judgmental, the resulting damage to self-esteem is much the same. A couple of pounds overweight is not the end of the world, but many girls and women here seem to think so, and put their whole self-worth into their appearance.

And the obsession with appearance isn't just about weight. It's also about white skin, heavy make-up, and plastic surgery to gain more western features like double eyelids and a longer nose. Appearance is even taken into account for jobs here - the standard resume must include a photo. When I ask people why, they say "If they don't include a photo, how will you know what they look like?" And when I ask why that matters, they say "There is no why. It's just important."

(On a related note, there's a great new website that started several weeks back that discusses this very topic - that of body image, particularly among Asian-American women who have grown up coming from a "thin culture" but living in a "fat culture." It's called Thick Dumpling Skin, a really good read for all women, even if you're not Asian. I'm new, so I'm not allowed to post links, but you can Google the title and it's the first link.)

Welcome! I know exactly how you feel! I've been fat since primary 3 or 4. I was born here in the US (my mom's american) but moved to Singapore soon after birth. It's hard to explain what it's like being overweight in asia to a lot of people. Those "wow so fat" comments hurt so bad. I heard things like "look at the little piggy" and "dirty blood" when I went with my dad to the hawker centers...anyways, congrats on the weight loss so far and keep it up! We believe in you!

Yeah eating disorders are rampant among my students from Asia. :( Some hide their bodies with oversized clothes when they are a size 4 or 6!
I have one Korean student who is very slim she works out and eats healthy but as far as the fair skin. She is one of the darkest Koreans I've ever met! Sometimes I almost want to put my arm against hers to see the comparison. I've resisted thus far but she's so different than the Koreans that we went to Ichetucknee River with last year. They were covered from head to toe to avoid the sun. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen until I learned about the fair skin complex they have. They don't want to get tan because that symbolizes that they are a lower class who has to work outside all day. I learn so much at my job I love it!

My family lives in Taiwan and I go back every 6-12 months :)

I know exactly what you mean about the weight situation in Taiwan. People are very blunt to the point of being rude (if you aren't used to it). You described the girls there perfectly. Perpetual diets and dissatisfaction with their bodies.

Best of luck and I look forward to reading more from you.

Hi! I lived in northwest China for 4 years, teaching English, and I was around 180-200 pounds my whole time there. Yep, "fat" was one of the first Chinese words I learned. :) But as many have noted, I quickly came to understand that it was pretty matter-of-fact, and necessarily the insult that it would be in the States.

It is a HUGE challenge to count calories in Asia, IMO, but I think healthier diet and fitness choices can be made and are a good place to start.

Good luck, and welcome!

Thanks for the warm welcome, all! It's good to know there are others who have faced similar difficulties, which means that perhaps we can share different ways to cope with them. For the most part, I try not to get too offended when people call me fat (like when ordering out, and one worker asks another who the order is for, and the second responds "Oh, it's for the fat foreigner."). I am, however, more likely to get offended when people make assumptions about me, like that all I eat is junk food and McDonald's and that I never exercise, and then proceed to give me advice, based on these assumptions, about how to become thin.

JenMusic As for learning "fat" very early on, it was the same for me. I also had a student, in the first few months I was here, tell me my arms are "QQ" (chewy, for those who are curious) as she squeeze my flabby bicep!

And you're right about calorie counting, though I'll admit I rarely bother anyway, especially now that I cook most of my own food. But the drinks! Most of the milk teas and juice drinks are way worse than soda! I had even lost weight my first few months in Taiwan - I went to the gym often because I didn't really know many people yet and didn't have many work hours, and probably took off about 20 pounds. Then I learned how to order drinks at the tea stands (and hurt my knee around the same time), and all that weight piled back on. I think if I had realized how many calories were in those milk teas, I might have been spared a few pounds. These days I generally avoid tea stands except as a treat on a hot day!

I LOVE the boba stands in Taipei. I'm addicted whenever I go back. It's SO hard not to be. It's nice now you can tell them to go light on sugar or no sugar at all though. Instead of milk tea with creamer I pay extra for them to use milk... definitely a treat :(

Exactly! It took me a long time to learn how to be more specific with my order, but now I'm a pro. :)

Of course, now that summer is coming, I have to watch out for going overboard when it's boiling outside - especially as we'll have a ton of summer teachers coming in to my office, and new teachers are always a bad influence, getting a little too much enjoyment out of all that stuff I've learned to avoid. I did recently get a new 1500cc Nalgene, so hopefully that will keep me off the tea!

Lucky for me I'm lactose intolerant, to the milk tea never became an issue. :)

And my all-time favorite story is when a student asked me about the "bean" on my face (doudou). That's how I learned the informal word for pimple. :lol:

JenMusic I have a lot of favorites, but probably the most memorable was when I cracked my tailbone and had a Taiwanese friend come to the chiropractor with me. Before the appointment, we had gone to dinner at a pizza place my friend wanted to try, and I had taught him some pizza vocabulary, words like thin and thick crust (we were language exchange partners). On the way home from the doctor's appointment, he said the doctor didn't know if the Chinese medicine patches he gave me would help me much with the pain. When I asked why, he struggled to figure out how to say it in English, then said "He thinks your fat is too thick!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

Hi slowrunner! I'm a Korean-American living in Japan and I feel your pain. Japanese people are much less direct than Taiwanese though. Wishing you the best in your efforts and facing the challenges of living in this wacky corner of the world. :)

Thick Dumpling Skin sounds RIGHT up my alley. I'm adopted by a white American family which makes it even more complicated. :P

Hi krampus! Thanks a lot! I'm guessing you might have it worse than I do, as I at least get a certain level of forgiveness for being white, but you're still Asian in an Asian country, even if you're not Japanese. People here seem to figure most white people are chubby anyway, but they're much harder on my Taiwanese-American friends who aren't super-skinny. (I likewise get praised on my Chinese, while those friends get asked why their Chinese sucks, even if we're at the same level!)

Let me know if you ever make a Taiwan visit! (You too, InControl2Day!)

One day when my kids get out of my house, I'm so going to teach in a foreign country. But that will probably have to be after I retire since I'm next in line to be the director of our English program. :) and :(

I'm glad I don't have the boba tea addiction. I don't like those little "boba's". :lol:

suenos096 You definitely should! Your background would be a great asset, and despite the cultural issues, living abroad can really shake up your life and thinking. The life I have here is completely different from the one I would have had if I had stayed in the US - it has really changed me and the way I see myself and my abilities. I also think coming here helped free me of the circle of folks people back home who had known me for a long time and saw me as a static person rather than a dynamic one. Here, I can be whoever I want to be, and change myself in any way I see fit without people questioning my motives or abilities. I hope you'll get the chance to do the same someday!

(Oh, and thank goodness for your lack of boba addiction! Those little pearls are e-v-i-l!)

*waves to InControl2Day* :hug:

Hi slowrunner, I live in Taiwan, too! Maybe we know each other from real life :lol::dizzy:

I've also gotten comments from locals about how "pang pang" I am :o And I guess that's why I started losing weight. My local friend once told me that Taiwanese people equate being skinny with being healthy, more than being pretty. So if they comment about my weight, they are actually concerned for me. This is why I don't really resent the "little fatty" comments... In fact, an ex-colleague I haven't seen in a year just saw me last weekend and having lost 40 lbs so far, she commented that I looked "healthier".
:carrot:

I can resist milk tea... but I cannot give up my favorite 冬瓜檸檬 (wintermelon lemon)... :^:

Maybe we can meet each other some time for a workout!

Hi brokengently! I wouldn't be surprised at all if we've met before in real life. Taipei is so small! I do still take it to heart when people make comments, unfortunately, since I hate being reduced to a fat person and little else. Ironically, I'm not looking forward to the comments about looking "healthier," either. I just don't like having too much attention put on my weight, since I feel like there are so many far more interesting things about me (or others) that are worth discussing.

What kind of exercise do you do here? I got a treadmill last month, and have started walking to work, and it's working out well. I'm taking a trip home soon, though, so hoping I won't undo all my work with all that American food!

Oh, and I love plain 冬瓜茶 - have you tried 義豐冬瓜茶 in Tainan? Their menu is crazy - winter melon everything!

I remember going hiking with my dad and they sell 冬瓜茶 at the top of the mountains. It's delicious! I like 冬瓜 soups too!

I'll be in Taipei in July. You guys are making me miss home :)

InControl2Day, do you have any trouble with food when you come back to Taiwan? I tend to gain whenever I return to the US because I binge (without much guilt!) on all the food I'm not going to be able to have again for another year, and I'm guessing it is much the same for people returning to Taiwan. This year, I'm still not going to try fighting it, but I'm hoping to balance it out with exercise - morning and/or evening walks around my mom's area (which is quite rural and beautiful) and perhaps also while on the road visiting other people. Do you have a plan for handling this?

Hi slowrunner! I really understand, especially when it's strangers making hurtful comments, like catty girls in bars :mad: Thankfully, the bulk of my experience goes to old folks calling me "pang pang" as a term of endearment and well-meaning friends suggesting I try the latest diet craze.

I've just started exercising last February... so far, I'm consistent with swimming and kickboxing (Wednesday nights). I go swimming in Da'An sports complex in the weekend and I also swim at the local gym during work nights.

And I just bought an exercise bike last Sunday. So from now on, TV time means bike time!

I've also signed up for Tuesday bellydancing classes starting in 2 weeks.

I like dancing like a crazy lady in my apartment once in awhile... or go clubbing with friends (except I end up drinking alcohol and gaining weight :dizzy:)

I jog sometimes but not very good at it. I plan to try a lot of new stuff in the next few months: cycling, yoga, surfing, thai boxing, hip hop dancing, etc.

You are welcome to join me in any of these activities :hug: I'm in the east side so the Blue line MRT is my best friend. Where in Taipei are you?

I've only been to Tainan once... and not sure if 義豐冬瓜茶 was one of the stops. Probably not or I would have remembered. But everything in Tainan is DELICIOUS. I'd like to go back there and try that wintermelon place!

And which mountain is that InControl2Day? Maybe I'll get into hiking next :D Some of my friends don't like the taste of 冬瓜 and I think they are crazy! I admit it's not very good as a hot dish though... I prefer leafy veggies.;)

How about a mini-3FC reunion in July? :carrot:

I know exactly what you girls mean! My parents are from Taiwan, and we vacation there fairly often. Shopping is incredibly difficult if you're above a U.S. Medium. I'm about 180 and 5'7, and I feel like my weight is a non-issue back in the states. There are plenty of women around my size or larger. However, in Asia, I become the fattest person ever to have existed. At least it feels that way while shopping anyway. It's sad, because there are so many cute, cheap clothes available in Taiwan!

I have found that stores will often have some items in larger sizes. At one point, I just started walking into stores and asking point blank which clothes would fit me. A little embarrassing at first, but it did save a lot of time! Also, look for anything stretchy or flowy.

I can't imagine how hard it must be trying to lose weight in Taiwan, with the plentiful boba spots, delicious restaurants, and the street food. Mmm...night markets. However, if you work hard, I'm sure you'll reach your goals. At least you've got a lot of motivation around you!

I would love to meet up in July when I'm there. I'm within walking distance to the blue line too!

brokengently and I have been supporting each other in the blogging world for a while now and I love it. Her posts about Taipei make me feel like I'm home :)!

brokengently: I forgot which mountain. I feel like my dad took us on a lot of hikes. It might have been the one with a temple at the top of it :)

slowrunner: It's incredibly hard to stay on track when I'm home. I was just there mid-January to mid-February. I want to make sure I don't "miss out" on anything so I make a list of foods I miss and try it once! I stop eating anything that doesn't taste good so I don't waste my calories. I also order food and share it! I also weigh myself regularly so I don't forget to stay on plan. The worst part of being home is I stop being as active. I come back to the US and I need to build up my endurance for running again. I do try to walk everywhere and do a lot of "window shopping." I consider it absorbing my hometown before I have to leave again.

firefoxy: I totally know what you mean. I remember growing up feeling "normal" sized in the US during the summer and then when I went home (I went to an American school overseas) I would feel like a whale among mermaids. Clothes shopping was hard to find anything that I wanted so I had to settle for whatever fit. I ended up dressing older than my age because I was so uncomfortable.

I avoided going back home when I was at my highest weight because I knew people would comment. I didn't want to embarrass myself or my parents. One summer I was home and I hid in my house for the entire summer because I was so ashamed. Old HS friends would call wondering if I was home this summer and I avoided them. :^:

Hi, firefoxy! I know what you mean about it not being an issue in the States. Today, I was showing my roommate a photo from a friend's wedding a few years ago (when I was about the same weight I am today) - 4 of bridesmaids & the bride - and I was the thinnest bridesmaid there! In Taiwan, on the other hand, I can't remember the last time I wasn't the heaviest person in the room. I guess it can be seen as motivating, all those constant walking reminders around me every day, plus the fact that clothes aren't easy to buy!

brokengently, We should totally all meet up in July! I live right on the blue line also. Maybe we can all do a weekend hike? Or a surfing trip? I don't actually know how to surf, but I've been waiting for an excuse/the confidence to learn/wear a bathing suit in public. Same goes for yoga, actually. I don't like exercising in public (because of all the staring!), so I have yet to take up yoga. I have thought about getting a private teacher, but won't take it up until walking/jogging has become more of a habit and I feel like I need something new.

InControl2Day, Let's commit to staying on track this year during our respective journeys home, then! I don't expect to keep losing while I'm there, but I'm hoping to avoid any backslide. I'm going to try to stay active as much as possible (and I've got a lot of malls to hit so I can stock up on all those clothes that fit my big booty!), but food will be a challenge. I'm going to start thinking of the healthiest things I miss about American food - pears and berries, for instance - and try to eat as many of those as possible. Will be hard when I'm hitting restaurants with friends in San Francisco, but should be doable once I get to my family's house on the east coast!

And to all, isn't it interesting how many people with connections to Taiwan are on 3FC? I wasn't expecting that!